Got here by luck, intending to stay by judgement.

pavlovs_dog

Hi Mr B,

people here genuinely want to help (it may be tough love, but it IS love none the less). It is difficult to do that without us knowing the whole picture. That said, I can understand your unwillingness to post a SOA on an open forum. I know that I for one have never posted mine in my diary.

You've been given sound advice about the change in mentality needed to stop you slipping back into old ways. Whilst the stomach churning cycle of struggling to meet minimum payments may have gone, the debt IS still there, just in a different form.

If you are serious in the intent behind your diary title to stay by judgement, then you need a plan. If I were in your shoes:

*all bar 2 of the CCs would be cancelled and cut up. I would file one in a safe place strictly for absolute dire emergencies. The other I would treat like a debit card to repair your credit rating (you may need/want to remortgage to a more competitive rate in the future).

* the money that used to service your minimum repayments needs to be split 3 ways

1) A direct debit to a savings account. You need to build up an emergency fund. This means that if the proverbial brown stuff hits the swirly whirly thing, you have a safety cushion to rely on, and credit is the last resort.

2) OPing the mortgage. If you can get your LTV to 60% or lower by the time your fix ends (2020 IIRC), you will be eligible for more competitively priced rates. By repairing your credit rating along the way, you should be able to have your pick of lenders too.

3) the last third needs to go back into your monthly budget pot. The constant robbing Peter to pay Paul proves that your living expenses exceed the money available to fund them. You need to make this money work for you by making further cuts. The £30 odd squid you shaved off today needs to be the first step in a multi step plan.


Now is the time for action and tough decisions. Sit down and figure out exactly how much you have coming in, how much of that is consumed by meeting your obligatory outgoings, and then as a family decide how to use the rest. It is all well and good for the little bloaters to outvote you on the netflix issue, but they are not the ones lying awake at night worrying about whether the books balance. There is an opportunity cost to every financial decision. No one here wishes to see you become a slave to the mortgage, condemned to a diet of beans on toast in order to clear the debt as fast as possible. But, being truthful, you ARE here by luck not judgement. This is a second chance to build a future for you and yours. Please don't let it go to waste.

Polly_Wolly_Doodle

So Mr B as Gallygirl and solentsuzie suggested get a standing order set up online and get that £32.72 whisked off to a savings a/c:money:
Listen to the Dave Ramsey show on podcast and get with his programme.
Are you over the limit for child benefit? If not another amount that can be squirrelled away for family days out that doesn't eat into your budget. And if you don't qualify then that should remind you of what a great income you are now in control of.

solentsusie

So MrB...

TalkTalk - OK, I will give you a saving on that of £3.98 BUT

Xbox Live - you totally forgot this, so that adds another £5.99 - is there anything else you have forgotten?

Sky - your saving is currently £64.50 - £62.75 = £1.75 - If you aren't prepared to cut your subscription on this in the long term you won't make a real saving.

Grand total saving on entertainment budget £3.76

What about the Now TV?

It is also concerning that you were 'outvoted' on cancelling Netflix. Have you not actually explained that you have to make cuts in order to service your increased mortgage through previous overspending? Sorry, but you need to be tough, and the baby Bloaters should certainly not get a vote in this.



If of course you can afford all of these items on your new budget then that is fine. But I honestly think you need to reassess your lifestyle if you actually want to make a real dent in demolishing that 50K...

Good luck.

getmore4less

You made the change.

How much money will you have left from income in the next pay cycle?
(month for most people)

How much more than the existing debt did you borrow on the mortgage.

Goldiegirl

MrBloater wrote: »

Am loving the advice and critiques, I wouldn't be putting it all up here if I was scared of the reaction. And I walked straight into it with the Entertainment budget (I think I'll keep quiet about the amount we spend on cars for now otherwise there's going to be some nervous breakdowns on here) which is stupidly high.

There's absolutely nothing about peoples budgets that would give me a nervous breakdown - I worked in banks and building societies for my whole working life, and I've seen it all.


It's not for us to judge you on what you spend, but the people on here give good advice and can suggest ways to make reductions and how to address the issues surrounding the family etc


But it is difficult without seeing the full picture - we have no idea what you earn, so we can't put your spending into context.


Some expenditure could be described as massive for a person on a low income, but for a high earner, the same expenditure could be quite low.


I think a SOA would help you to understand the your finances - and if you wanted to post it on here, you could probably get even more help tailored to your precise position.

solentsusie

Goldiegirl wrote: »

There's absolutely nothing about peoples budgets that would give me a nervous breakdown - I worked in banks and building societies for my whole working life, and I've seen it all.


It's not for us to judge you on what you spend, but the people on here give good advice and can suggest ways to make reductions and how to address the issues surrounding the family etc


But it is difficult without seeing the full picture - we have no idea what you earn, so we can't put your spending into context.


Some expenditure could be described as massive for a person on a low income, but for a high earner, the same expenditure could be quite low.


I think a SOA would help you to understand the your finances - and if you wanted to post it on here, you could probably get even more help tailored to your precise position.

I agree with Goldiegirl, you have to put your spending into context with your income.

People on here will be able to help you if they can do this, at the moment they can't, only suggestions can be made on assumptions.

ourcornercottage

MrB well done for taking the first step. I would review all these again in 2 weeks and cut anything else you feel happy to. Small steps towards that important mindset change. In terms of being outvoted on cancelling things, I'd get MrsB on side then tell kids when they pay they decide! This really will be a lesson in life for your kids as you don't want them thinking you can have everything you want even if they can't afford it!

I'd still cut up all the credit cards for now, family abroad or not. That sounds like an excuse to keep them to me. Spend a few months being really careful and build a fund that will cover this. Ask yourself, how many times have you really used your credit card for genuine emergencies. I know the answer for me is never.

You should create a SOA for yourself and review each expense individually. You know yourself if it's reasonable or not. Don't fool yourself, you're not fooling anyone really.

I think everyone on here doesn't want you to find yourself in this position again in a year or so. You have a great backup support team here. I wish you a lot of luck.

satchmo1

I dip in to Mr B's posts occasionally, subscribe, then get frustrated because he talks a great talk but doesn't actually tackle the root causes of the family debt.


I wish you all the success in the world, Mr B, but I'm out.

solentsusie

satchmo1 wrote: »

I dip in to Mr B's posts occasionally, subscribe, then get frustrated because he talks a great talk but doesn't actually tackle the root causes of the family debt.


I wish you all the success in the world, Mr B, but I'm out.

I hope this time round this is a serious effort to tackle the problem. If I had added a 50K debt to my mortgage - I could have a decent deposit on a second property with that - then I would certainly be looking to make sure I did not repeat the mistakes of the past.

Yes, I do love his musings, they are entertaining, but as you say they are more schemes of making more money rather than looking at resolving the root cause of the issue that has brought him to the place he is at. I just hope that he isn't riding for a fall on this one. He really needs to reassess his attitude to money. We all need our 'light bulb' moment and I just hope that this is his, for his sake and that of his family.

I really wish him well, but he really needs to do a SOA and face up to where things have gone wrong previously.

getmore4less

MrBloater wrote: »

I have been playing with an overpayment calculator - and if I can throw an extra grand a month at the mortgage, it'll be done in a decade. Not that I'm quite sure where this mythical grand is going to come from, but I'm going to have fun trying to find it.

This sums it up

it's a game.

A SOA will find that £1k in 5mins.