Teenagers and sleepovers, how often?

balletshoes

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

BTW, DS1 and his mates sometimes slept in a tent in the garden. They could make (almost) as much noise as they liked as they weren't likely to disturb anyone. But actually they used to settle down reasonably well. Obviously only works in the summer ...

sue i'm sure your boys had room outside to make noise without disturbing anyone else, but where we live, noise outside carries a lot further than noise inside the house, especially in summer!

MX5huggy

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Obviously only works in the summer ...

Why only in summer? it doesn't get properly cold in this country very often.

YORKSHIRELASS

Yes mine used to do sleepovers in the garden when he was younger - doesnt work now because you cant play on the xbox out there!

I also grew up in a house where friends drifted in and out all the time and it was lovely. We live in the middle of nowhere so this will never really happen and any friends who come here have to be brought by car. This is why I would like to move but that's another story.

I think another issue here is that my son doesnt have one particularly "best mate" who might stay every other weekend but there are a group of 5 or 6 of them so this makes things a bit more complicated. They are all nice kids though.

My son also plays sport on a weekend so that's another factor, we sometimes have to leave the house at 8.30am on a Sunday for cricket.

I suppose like everything on parenting everyone has different ideas but its all about compromise and doing what works for your family.

I think we will stick to the once a month rule. Someone said to me yesterday, wait until they are driving and you are laid in bed listening for the car at 3am. Then you will wish for them to be annoying you by giggling and talking in the bedroom next door!

Lunar_Eclipse

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

Someone said to me yesterday, wait until they are driving and you are laid in bed listening for the car at 3am. Then you will wish for them to be annoying you by giggling and talking in the bedroom next door!

I can imagine that, I really miss bath time giggles and 7pm bedtimes.

About 3am arrivals home, again I think this isn't what "everyone does" but is social life and age dependent.

Most weekend nights in sixth form I went to the pub so would be home by midnight; I think I had the odd 1am home time following a party in someone's house but did have a few very late nights (4am & up for work at 8!) following clubbing in London during a GAP year.

On the basis that parents often don't sleep properly until their children are home, I think there has to be compromise on respecting the needs of both sides: one for sleep, one for social life. We won't be having 3ams as a weekly occurrence here.

SingleSue

Never had a sleepover here despite having 3 boys who are now 21, 18 and 17. Primary reason is that for the younger two (and most especially youngest), our home is their haven and their safe place (they both have an ASD) and they don't like others in it...not even my parents!

Eldest had a friend over for tea once, that didn't go well as the guest was terrorised by the then 4 year old middle son.

Things appear to be improving though, youngest almost invited some of his friends round a couple of months ago but when it came down to it, he just couldn't do it but at least he is starting to think about it now.

SandC

When I was young I used to sleepover at my friend's house all the time and I'm not sure she ever did at mine. Her house was always full of kids (she was the eldest of 4) and it's only after becoming an adult that I realise what an absolute saint her mum was (dad to lesser extent as he worked away often).

I agree if your younger child finds it a little disruptive then the once a month rule is a good one. But take it as a huge compliment that kids want to stay at yours!

BTW nothing wrong with my house it was just a bit dull and we were the last family on the planet to have a colour tv, oh and my folks didn't watch ITV either (really they were great!). :rotfl: