Seeking help

losteverything

Dear All

Annual Income - £26,750 pre tax (approx, £20,500 after tax & NI)

I am currently massively in debt due to a 5yr gambling addiction. I am at the point of losing everything (hence the username), my house, my family & everything else that people hold precious. The problem is now excaserbated by the fact that I have a two year old daughter. The thought of making her homeless has almost driven me to suicide recently (as sad as it sounds this has seemed quite appealing due to the fact that the debt, bar the mortgage, is insured).

Anyway on to my debts,

Mortgage £123,000
Unsecured loan with mortgage £8,000
Secured loan on house £30,000

Egg - £10,000
MBNA £4,800
Natwest Mastercard/Visa £2,700

Cahoot Loan - £12,500

Overdraft £1,500 (so far, although I am using this just to pay the top up each month that is required to keep the wolves from the door)

Scary isn't it!!

The total monthly cost of all this plus utilities now exceeds my monthly income. My partner pays for our daughters child care and the shopping.

Please help me

mae

First thing welcome to the site. You are definately in the right place the people on here give such great advice and will help all they can as will I if I have anything to add.
Firstly you will need to do an SOA and there is a thread about it on this section of the site. You will also need to list all interest rates and length of terms on all debt.
Things can be done its not hopeless honest, keep focussed.

Are you getting help for the gambling addiction?? As I feel taking control of your finances needs to go hand in hand with taking control of your addiction.
Goodm luck

Skinted_stodge

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280

i am new to this and not really in a position to give advice, but use this link to do an SOA and the people on here are AMAZING and WILL help you.

good luck.

chevalier

Hi there
does your OH know about the situation, as they need to be onboard with this too. Ie cutting back together.
Do you get any tax credits?
Have you any charges to claim back?
Are there any arrears on the secured debt as this is probably the most important at the minute
best of luck with the SOA
chev

hooters

Hello mate, have you seen www.gamcare.org.uk? I'm currently signed up with them, they will give you support for the gambling problem and I'm here if you want to talk.
I'm in a similar position to you, but am now feeling positive about it.

hypno06

hi there and welcome!

As said above, if you can have a read of the sticky for first time posters, and pull together an SOA, there are loads of people here who can see where there are opportunities to cut back.

You have taken a big step towards sorting things out. Be proud of that and look forward for yourself and your family x

millionaire_in_training

Lost everything. My ex OH had a gambling problem and when he told me I was really shocked but I stood by him. I would have stood by him forever but he then handed the responsibility of the debt over to me whilst he moaned and groaned about having no money and carried on gambling. What I am trying to say in a round about way is to trust your wife BUT make sure you do what needs to be done and ensure that you take responsibility along with her support and you can get through this together. Only with honesty though. I hope this helps you . Good luck x

hooters

millionaire_in_training wrote: »

Lost everything. My ex OH had a gambling problem and when he told me I was really shocked but I stood by him. I would have stood by him forever but he then handed the responsibility of the debt over to me whilst he moaned and groaned about having no money and carried on gambling. What I am trying to say in a round about way is to trust your wife BUT make sure you do what needs to be done and ensure that you take responsibility along with her support and you can get through this together. Only with honesty though. I hope this helps you . Good luck x

I've transfered all our income to my wife's account, given her all my cards and ask for pocket money now. I don't begrudge doing any of that - my way of saying how truly sorry I am to her, if you know what I mean.

losteverything

Dear All

Thanks for all your kind comments.

My OH does know about the problem and the size of the debt. She is going to stand by me, (god only knows why), I only hope that I would be so understanding if I was in her position. This is not the first time I have put her through something similar. I lost our first house because of a 10yr heroin addiction, however I should add that I am two years clean from drugs. Although all I basically did was swap one addiction for another.

I will complete the SOA shortly.

Thanks again

hypno06

Are you getting some form of counselling to help the addictive tendancies? You don't want to be swapping the gambling for yet another addiction - unless that addiction is moneysaving!!

losteverything

I am currently seeing the same counsellor that helped me through my drug addiction, so hopefully she will be able to help.

Here is my SOA

Monthly Incomings

My Salary - £1,650
Partners Salary - £1,250
Benefits - £50

Total - £2,950

Monthly Outgoings

Mortgage - £643
Council Tax - £108
Gas – £38
Electric - £32
TV License - £11.37
Sky - £37
Phone(s) - £40
Child Care - £250
Food - £300
Petrol - £50
Mortgage Protection/Savings Plan - £28
Critical Illness Cover - £38.54
Life Insurance - £33

Total - £1,608.91

Credit

Egg CC – Limit £10,000, Balance £9,850, 17.9% APR
NatWest CC – Limit £2,700, Balance £2,680, (I will get the APR % on Monday)
MBNA CC – Limit - £4,800 Balance £4,760 (I will get the APR % on Monday)
HSBC CC (Partners Card) – Limit - £7,900 Balance £600 19.9% APR

Cahoot Flexible Loan – Limit £12,500, Balance £12,500, 19.9% APR
Northern Rock Loan – Balance £8,000, 9.24% APR
First Plus Loan inc. Insurance – Balance £36,500, APR 9.0%

Scary isn't it