advice for a friend (child protection issues)

justme111

A friend of mine ( I known her for years but never were particularly close ) asked me today to write her character reference and explained why she wanted it. Her very calm explanation shocked me. In short her daughter is about to be removed from her custody as whatever official institutions deal with it are concerned for the daughter's safety. Without going into details and opinions whether it is right or wrong -what was glaring obvious to me is that a friend does not know how to present her case against it. She apparently spends days in composing statements and getting an advice from psychotherapists from abroad (she is foreign). She does not feel she has anyone "on her side " , she feels she is dismissed by her solicitor . Keeping in mind she is foreign and would have difficulties in dealing with official organizations specially so threatening as cafcas as courts I am concerned there may be miscarriage of justice in the making. I never had a hint of suspicion about her , my daughter spends 2 hours weekly with her and never mentioned anything untoward either. I know I have very little knowledge and indeed there may be something detrimental to her daughter , I am not arguing whether she should or should not have the daughter removed from her custody. What I am after is an advice who she could turn to for help and guidance . Thank you.

Ms_Chocaholic

Hi
Please don't see this as a criticism but it's her solicitor that is best placed to help her, I'm not sure a character reference will help in the slightest, sorry.

I guess we don't know the full circumstances why the child was removed, if placed in Local Authority care voluntarily or whether removed via an order of the Court.

What I must stress though is that you should not be leaving your daughter in her sole care from now on until you get the full circumstances of what has gone on. Children are removed from their parents rarely and only before other options are considered.

justme111

I would like to trust that everything is done right by social services or whatever other organization officials (specially where there is climate of fear, pressure and passing the buck in those institutions as it is currently in state organizations) and all solicitors are brilliant in an imaginary land only ..
Anyway - is there anywhere she can turn for help ?

tomtontom

It is rare that a child is removed from their home, and usually would be a last resort.

You say you never had any suspicion about her - the same could be said of most criminals until they are actually caught. I'm not suggesting she has committed a crime, but the same principle applies.

If she wants a second opinion she can instruct another solicitor, although that is likely to be frowned upon so late in the day.

kelpie35

The social work dept must have real concerns if the child is going to be removed.

In my opinion social workers have become more alert regarding children who are at risk.

It depends on the reasons the child needs removed, so if you have no concerns about how the child is cared for, and by whom then you just need to write an honest description of your dealings with your friend.

Why do you think her solicitor is making her feel that she is not being listened to?

Always remember there are 2 sides to every story.

Errata

Presumably as you've known her for years she's lived in the UK for years.
"getting an advice from psychotherapists from abroad (she is foreign)" seems unusual, if not plain odd. In your shoes before doing anything I would have a long hard think about how well I actually know her, especially as you say you're not close friends.

justme111

I know what I will be writing in a letter
I don't pretend to know whats best for the child.
She told me she felt like that with solicitor. If a person spends hours writing statements alone, says she does not feel she has been dealt with fairly , feels cornered and asks acquaintances for useless character references it tells me a person may benefit from some support. I just asking if anyone has an idea who she can ask for support.

indsty

What a difficult situation. If you feel you need to do something then perhaps call an organisation (Citizen's Advice?) and ask if there is a specific organisation to help people of her nationality in your area. I know we have some locally for the Punjabi and Chinese communities. By directing her to somewhere like that you may feel more at ease. If you do write a "reference" you can only describe her truthfully as you have seen her. This may or may not be similar to what others have seen.

tomtontom

She should ask a friend for support. SS will have supported her, has this relationship broken down? What are the reasons for the removal and what steps have been taken up to now?

Errata

Does she not have any acquaintances who are the same nationality as her? They may be best placed to understand her difficulties in not understanding how to present her case and possibly point her in the direction of help appropriate to her needs.

Anglea

Hi Justme,

I expect your friend has a mental health issue because of the psychotherapists involved from overseas.

Maybe you could get in touch with Mind or a similar organisation to see what advice they can give.

I've known a number of women whose children were removed because of either mental of physical health issues of the mothers and they could only see their children if supervised afterwards and could not get the decision overruled.

I expect the solicitor will be dealing with the Court of Protection and people will need to be named to be involved with making the best decisions on behalf of the child. This could be family members as well as professionals, depending on the circumstances.

I've been involved with this myself regarding a different matter and there is help available as you get a liason contact.

It may be that your friend's case is different so as a first point, I'd ask her what exactly is the case against her because that way you'll know what kind of charity to contact for advice.