Smoking issue

antilles

Thanks everyone for all the replies, very useful!

I think the option of stopping smoking is out of the question, so is E-Cigs, we have tried these and he just gets really upset. And we don't want him to be upset and miserable, he probably doesn't have long left.

Mobility is a huge issue, he can barely walk now, so getting him outside is very difficult, however I think we are going to try and enforce this a bit more, if he has to go outside for every cigarette it might make him cut down a bit.

We are also considering building a small 'smoking shelter' outside which we could use during the winter months.

Several posters hit the nail on the head regarding dementia, he literally has a smoke then forgets he's had one, then lights up again straight away. He would smoke all day if we let him. So are looking not to ration, but more possibly remind him that he's just had a cigarette, maybe a reminder chart or something, we are looking into this.

We're already getting respite from Social Services so this does give us the ability to 'de-smoke' and clean the house once in a while.

Also a great point highlighted regarding the fire risk - we have had smoke alarms installed but we are going to get some fire extinguishers and a bit of a fire drill going. Also ban smoking in the bedroom.

Also going to buy an air purifier to see if that helps.

Quite a hard time given his illness but we're also trying to keep other family members happy too!

Cheers for all the advice!

Morglin

Having looked after my mum, who had Dementia, I would just allow whatever pacifies the person. The stress caused, by trying to inject any form of reasonableness, with some scenarios, is worse than just going with the flow!

Use an air purifier, as they help.

When she went into the care home, they allowed her to smoke, under supervision.

Difficult situation.

Lin

74jax

When my mum had her double stroke she completely forgot what time of day it was, let alone what day it was.

When she asked for a cigeratte we said she didn't smoke. She used to say to dad to stop off and buy her some and he would say what on earth for you don't smoke.

This was however after she'd been in hospital for 6 months, so we knew she was ok without any, i'm not sure it would be best to go cold turkey in this instance.

Doe she have a diary? My mum had to write everything down, so when she ate, when she drank etc, could you start that and point out he's just had one.

missbiggles1

meritaten wrote: »

That would be cruel - and cause the carer a lot of problems. cigarettes are still legal you know.
you obviously do not understand dementia or how to care for people with this who are at the end stage of life.

No it isn't, it's quite sensible - if s/he has to go into hospital s/he wouldn't be allowed to smoke - is that cruel?

No need to add lung disease to all the other problems, whether for the patient or the rest of the family.

Mojisola

74jax wrote: »

Doe she have a diary? My mum had to write everything down, so when she ate, when she drank etc, could you start that and point out he's just had one.

Most dementia patients wouldn't remember that they were meant to write down when they had done things.

onlyroz

If the short-term memory is really short then when they ask for a cigarette you could just say "Yes, of course, I'll get you one" and then leave the room for a minute. They might never realise that you never returned with one.

Cow_pie_muncher

I'd get an incontinent dog as a companion for the old boy, once Fido has christened the carpet you wont worry about cigarette smells.

Serendipitious

Heaven Fresh purifier, about £50 from Boots.

nlj1520

Firstly, I am so impressed with your attitude to the problem, his choice to smoke and you want him to be comfortable and happy. I agree totally with that attitude. That said it would be better if you could all be comfortable and happy!
I think (as one poster suggested) a wheelchair so he can smoke outside is a great idea, as is a shelter outside. It will take a bit of time and effort to get the routine of smoking outside established, but it should work. My dad has dementia and doesn't want to eat, but he lives in the moment and is keen not to be any trouble to anyone else (apparently even down to starving himself!) but I tell him he needs to eat so he can take his tablets on a full tummy. He seemed to accept this and although it has to repeated every mealtime at the moment I think it is becoming a routine now.
You are doing a wonderful thing supporting your dad (or was it another relative?) and sounds like you have a wonderful heart. I applaud you and send you all the luck in the world!