Question about pip and appointee, help needed

teabag29

Ok so here's the situation. My partner has a very close friend who he met as a teen nearly 20 years ago. They are very close friends. The friend has special needs due to an injection going wrong as a child, I dont know the full details of his problems but basically he has some bone problems and lots of pain and will eventually end up in a wheel chair, learning problems too.

The friend lives with his mum and always has (hes 33 now) who has his pip and esa in her name and claims carers. She does no caring for him, she makes him do a paper round for £30 a week to get his own spending money (he eats alot of food and sweets and his paper money goes on that) and refuses to buy him things or have any of the money spent on him, she will get him a few gifts at xmas time but thats it. He has to do jobs for her around the house and to and fro to the shop for her etc despite the fact he has bone problems and shouldn't be walking for long. she goes on holidays abroad 2-3 times a year for weeks at a time, she refuses to even pay for his passport or allow him to have one (even though we were going to pay for him to holiday with us).

My partner has looked after his friend alot more than his mother ever has. When he had to have operations on his legs, it was my partner that took him out and wheeled him around etc as his mother would just leave him. It makes me very mad to see how she is using her son for money and to stay on benefits getting her life paid for her. My partners friend has had no life because of this, the only friend he has is my partner BUT.....

We are now moving to the other side of the country (we dont drive) and so this means my partner wont be able to see his friend much anymore and so his friend is obviously upset. We have invited him to come and live with us and he has decided hes going to do it and stop letting his mum control him. (He has some learning difficulties but they arent severe, he can cook a simple meal, spell to a fair level etc). He has told his mum and she has said you are not moving no way.

He has stuck to his guns but she has now got his sister bullying him too and they've told him he cant have the pip/esa in his name and he will have to fight in court to get it in his name as she'll never agree etc. She has also been very verbal to my partner telling him hes not moving and thats that.

Now we all no it isnt out of concern, she just doesnt want to lose the pip, esa, and carers allowance plus with him gone she would have to sign on and also pay the bedroom tax. This is purely about money for her and so expects her son to not live so that she can use him. Its disgusting.

Now for one what she is doing as far as i'm aware is fraud as he shouldn't even be doing a paper round due to his bone condition (hes on high rate for mobility and care i believe) nor should she be spending all his money on herself and forcing him to work instead etc. If he reports her he knows she will chuck him out and then the family will turn their back on him (they not a great bunch) so hes never felt that to be an option, so he has to suffer his health to keep her happy.

This time hes adament hes going to break away and take the opportunity we've given him however he is worried what his mum says may be true. She cannot stop him having his own pip can she? i know she will lie as she has done so far and make out he is so mentally incapable he cant manage money but thats not true, his paper round proves that, he gets 30 a week and pays for birthday presents for his family, food goodies due to boredom and clothes. Even if she tried to argue that he couldnt manage surely then my partner could be his appointee, she will be living at opposite end of the country to him so surely she cant continue to get his pip??

I'm glad hes finally breaking free and taking a chance to start living, it disgusts me that his own mother could use him so badly and once the truth is out i hope she gets done for fraud because that's exactly what shes been doing in my mind. She doesn't want to know him until a pip assessment comes along then she puts on the tears and plays the concerned parent, makes me so mad.

Sorry for the long post x

rogerblack

teabag29 wrote: »

She cannot stop him having his own pip can she?

It is in principle possible for the DWP to refuse to change the appointee and to have the benefits paid to someone else if they believe this is in the best interest of the disabled person.
This is extremely unlikely for anyone who is strongly opposed to this, and has even the semblance of being able to cope on their own.

teabag29

Yes that's what i thought, and surely its not possible for her to keep as his appointee if he's living 4 hours away from her, i mean how could she argue shes spending the money in his best interests if she isn't going to even be seeing him etc

anmarj

Appointee can be at other end of the country to the person, if they are not acting in the best interest of the person then they can be removed by the dwp as the appointee, and another person set up.


https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/procedures-for-dealing-with-agents-appointees-attorneys-deputies-and-third-parties

Savvy_Sue

I hope you do not mind me giving a bit of a challenge to the situation you describe.

teabag29 wrote: »

Ok so here's the situation. My partner has a very close friend who he met as a teen nearly 20 years ago. They are very close friends. The friend has special needs due to an injection going wrong as a child, I dont know the full details of his problems but basically he has some bone problems and lots of pain and will eventually end up in a wheel chair, learning problems too.

If I understand this right, you are offering to have live with you a man with both physical disabilities and learning difficulties, without knowing exactly what's wrong, and probably not exactly what his needs are, or really what the outlook is.

Which is great, but be very aware of what the future may hold.

teabag29 wrote: »

The friend lives with his mum and always has (hes 33 now) who has his pip and esa in her name and claims carers. She does no caring for him, she makes him do a paper round for £30 a week to get his own spending money (he eats alot of food and sweets and his paper money goes on that) and refuses to buy him things or have any of the money spent on him, she will get him a few gifts at xmas time but thats it. He has to do jobs for her around the house and to and fro to the shop for her etc despite the fact he has bone problems and shouldn't be walking for long.

I'm just wondering what your plans for funding him are? If you are appointed to manage his affairs, and have him live with you, presumably you'll need most if not all of his finance to add to your family budget? And if he's a big eater, how is that to be funded?

I also wonder how you know he shouldn't be walking for long - is it possible that his condition or its future development is improved by walking, even if it's painful? What is he to do if he's not expected to look after himself? Should he be stuck at home all the time, doing nothing? And is it also possible that his mum knows he should be kept mobile, but that he doesn't understand why, or that it's important for his future mobility?

You're very sure you know the whole situation with his family, and you may well be right, but it's not always as clear cut as it appears.

teabag29

Hi Sue, yes I know his conditions and what they mean but dont know the names of them, my partner knows more. Basically his bones mean he will eventually be in a wheel chair and he gets a lot of pain walking so shouldn't be walking too far without breaks and lots of rest (hes on morphine and all sorts of tablets).

He is well capable of managing hi money and will use this to fund his living, we will have a spare room her can stay in.

He eats a lot through boredom because he is stuck at home with nothing to do, when ever he comes to us and is with my partner he has things to do and his eating goes right down as he's occupied (they go fishing, he plays board games with kids etc).

Ideally he wants to move with us with a view to getting his own place eventually. He got his own flat once before and was managing well but his mother disowned him because she was no longer getting his money and his sister constantly made him feel bad about this so he gave in and went back to live with his mum.

i do feel bad for him, she really isn't a nice lady. She doesn't care for him when he needs it, my partner does most of it when he can. She has chucked all her other children out due to them not paying the ridiculous amount of rent she wanted off them (apart from his younger sister) and she lives off his dla,esa and carers allowance and spends half the year abroad in america visiting family and leaving him with nothing. If he needs something (eg some new shoes) she will tell him to save up money from his paper round..... the paper round he shouldn't be doing on high rate mobility and has been warned about walking to far for long without resting etc (she has failed to mention this paper round on his pip assessment, instead choosing to tell the assessors how she makes sure he doesnt walk too far etc).

Unfortunately I wish she did have his best interests as heart, I too have a child on hrc, lrm and know only too well there is sometimes more to a situation than looks like from the outside but it really isnt the case here im afraid, shes after 1 thing only and thats his money. She has told him many times if he doesnt allow her to have his pip/esa etc than shes chucking him out as hes no use to her. She also makes him work alot round the house doing jobs for her (his pip has already financed a gastric band fitting for her and regular trips to usa etc)

He has no friends other than my partner and no way of having a life. Some of his family (his brother and other sister) have had a go at her in an attempt to stick up for their brother but they are too scared to go to far incase they ever need to move back to her home as their accomodation is unstable.

Savvy_Sue

Does he have a social worker? If not, it may be worth contacting the council and asking what support he could get as a vulnerable adult wanting to become more independent.

Also will you be renting or buying? If renting, you may have issues with moving another adult into the property.

Is it any great loss if Mum does throw him out?

teabag29

We are renting but there's plenty of space there's a spare room and we've checked all that out. He doesnt have a social worker so yes thats a good idea and no to be honest he'd be better off without his mother in his life but obviously shes all hes ever known and hes scared to be alone with nobody. I do feel for him its a horrible situation

Limara

teabag29 wrote: »

she lives off his dla,esa and carers allowance and spends half the year abroad in america visiting family and leaving him with nothing.

How on the earth can she claim those benefits and not be in the country? Carers allowance is only payable for up to 4 weeks if the person you care for is not with you! I am sure other benefits would be limited if paid at all as well.
My daughter is disabled, she is not able to control her money, she doesn't understand money at all but she has no trouble spending it! If I didn't control it she wouldn't have anything. This is also the case for all of her friends, when they seem to be able to understand money they may not understand it as well as you think.
What his mother is doing is wrong, I have seen so many of my daughters friends in exactly the same situation as this guy is in, One of them even used to have to pay his mothers vets bills.
You need to get social services involved with this, you say he was on his own before and his Mother gave him hassle, it will be probably be you getting the hassle this time.
It would also be a good idea to involve the Social worker before he makes any steps to move into yours, at least you will cover your own back a bit.
What his Mother is doing is totally wrong especially the claim for Carers, the criteria for that is you must provide 35 hours of care not zero! that is fraud.
Make sure you know what you are doing, it is VERY different having some one visit you to what it will be having them living with you 24/7, what you are doing is lovely BUT make sure its not going to come back and bite you!