Really need to sort myself out .. so so sad.

SortingItOut_2

Today is my birthday and I’ve spent the whole day close to tears. I need to sort my life out and if I stand any chance of having the life I want I need to tackle my finances.
All of my credit cards are with debt collectors and I had my first knock at the door a couple of weeks ago. I’ve unplugged my phone and only connect it when I want to make a call. We are struggling to afford the basics and I can’t stand it anymore. The DCAs have agreed to take between £2-8 each per month for the next few months and even this is a struggle.
I‘m in debt for many reasons. I’ve been treated for depression on and off since I was 17 (I've just turned 35) – with tablets and therapy but it has never left me completely. I have worked since I was 18 but have never been able to function well enough to work full time for more than a few months so have usually worked 25-30 hours a week. I have been signed off work a few times, the longest period being 4 months so have lost income in those periods. I've also had 2 periods of unemployment.
I suppose I was spending a full timer’s salary on a part timer’s income, using credit cards to pay for a lifestyle that wasn’t extravagant at all but still one I couldn’t afford. I have definitely spent to cheer myself up but I have nothing to show for it. I have gone through periods of heavy drinking and that certainly isn’t cheap!
Anyway, I was made redundant 2 years ago which is when the problems really escalated. I have a small and unpredictable income from self-employed admin work I do for an old boss of mine but apart from that we rely on my partner’s income. I feel so guilty that the burden is on him to provide for us both but he has never made me feel bad about it. I do surveys etc online and they help a bit. I know I need to find work but my confidence and ability to function are so low at the moment that I’m not sure what to do. I have applied for casual work at the same place I had a xmas job last year as it didn’t really involve talking to anyone.
I’ve posted my SOA here. It’s a bit rough as my partner’s income is unpredictable as well but I’ve done my best.
Life seems a bit grim right now. Most months we sell stuff on ebay or borrow money from parents to pay the rent. We never go out. If one of us needs new shoes or clothes then that month a bill goes unpaid.I can’t go on like this and I know I need to find the strength and motivation to get a job. I've used online calculators for working tax credits etc but we're not entitled to anything.
Sorry for such a long (and so negative) post but I just needed to sound off to people who understand. I can’t talk to anyone else.

Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 0

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 100
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1000
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1100

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 550
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 92
Electricity............................. 33
Gas..................................... 15
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 15.4
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 38 (partners - i'd get rid of it if I could but he is in a contract)
TV Licence.............................. 12.12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 6 (Now tv as a treat)
Internet Services....................... 23 (bundle with phone)
Groceries etc. ......................... 160
Clothing................................ 10
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0 (walk or rely on lifts)
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0 (luckily I have medical exemption)
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 9.09
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10 (average, not every month)
Haircuts................................ 0 Never!
Entertainment........................... 10 Maybe rent a dvd from the library or buy a magazine)
Holiday................................. 0 Not for years
Emergency fund.......................... 0 Bad, I know
Total monthly expenses.................. 998.61


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Various DCAs...................18340.....50........0
Partner Debt...................7500......24........0
Total unsecured debts..........25840.....74........-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,100
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 998.61
Available for debt repayments........... 101.39
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 74
Amount left after debt repayments....... 27.39

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -25,840
Net Assets.............................. -25,840

I haven't included money I owe my parents as they will wait until I can afford to pay them back. I'm not sure how we've ended up with £27 leftover but maybe I've underestimated some payments. We often end the month with a week when we can't spend anything. Anyway, any suggestions greatly appreciated.

sourcrates

Hi,
Welcome to the forum.

At first glance, 25k of unsecured debt, no house, or significant assets, why do you not declare yourself bankrupt ?

I think you may need a radical solution here, I suspect a debt management plan would take far too long to complete.

I would say your options would be IVA or Bankrupcy.

If it were me, I'd go bankrupt and have done with it once and for all.

I suggest you get some professional advice from National Debtline, they will be able to advise you better on this, and list your options.

https://www.nationaldebtline.org

shoe*diva79

The online calcs must be incorrect as you and your partner will definitely be entitled to tax credits - both child and possibly working and you should also be in receipt of child benefit as well.

I suggest you call the tax credit office pronto.

Edit; I have just put what I could in a online calc and if my assumptions are correct based on what you have said above, then over £6k a year in child tax credit you can receive and a small amount of working tax credit plus some housing benefit (if you rent)

Please call the Tax Credit office and your housing benefit office.

SortingItOut_2

Thanks for your reply. I think I've avoided the bankruptcy option as I know the debt could be paid off if I had a full time job. Maybe it's time to be realistic about this option and get advice.

SortingItOut_2

Thanks for your reply. We don't have children and we aren't entitled to working tax credit

mum2one

SortingItOut wrote: »

Today is my birthday and I’ve spent the whole day close to tears. I need to sort my life out and if I stand any chance of having the life I want I need to tackle my finances.

Youve taken the first and the hardest step, thats wanting to make the change.


All of my credit cards are with debt collectors and I had my first knock at the door a couple of weeks ago. I’ve unplugged my phone and only connect it when I want to make a call.

[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]You an write to the agenices saying you will only deal with them by postal contact, [/COLOR]

We are struggling to afford the basics and I can’t stand it anymore. The DCAs have agreed to take between £2-8 each per month for the next few months and even this is a struggle.

[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]This does sound a struggle, it may b worth contacting stepchange - free debt management charity and talk through the options[/COLOR]

I‘m in debt for many reasons. I’ve been treated for depression on and off since I was 17 (I've just turned 35) – with tablets and therapy but it has never left me completely. I have worked since I was 18 but have never been able to function well enough to work full time for more than a few months so have usually worked 25-30 hours a week. I have been signed off work a few times, the longest period being 4 months so have lost income in those periods. I've also had 2 periods of unemployment.

I suppose I was spending a full timer’s salary on a part timer’s income, using credit cards to pay for a lifestyle that wasn’t extravagant at all but still one I couldn’t afford. I have definitely spent to cheer myself up but I have nothing to show for it. I have gone through periods of heavy drinking and that certainly isn’t cheap!

[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]Sounds like you have come through a really rough time, but you have come through it.[/COLOR]

Anyway, I was made redundant 2 years ago which is when the problems really escalated. I have a small and unpredictable income from self-employed admin work I do for an old boss of mine but apart from that we rely on my partner’s income.

I feel so guilty that the burden is on him to provide for us both but he has never made me feel bad about it. I do surveys etc online and they help a bit.

I know I need to find work but my confidence and ability to function are so low at the moment that I’m not sure what to do. I have applied for casual work at the same place I had a xmas job last year as it didn’t really involve talking to anyone.

[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]Have you spoke to your GP if your feeling low, [/COLOR]

I’ve posted my SOA here. It’s a bit rough as my partner’s income is unpredictable as well but I’ve done my best.

[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]Thats the first step, to see how things lie.[/COLOR]

Life seems a bit grim right now. Most months we sell stuff on ebay or borrow money from parents to pay the rent. We never go out. If one of us needs new shoes or clothes then that month a bill goes unpaid.I can’t go on like this and I know I need to find the strength and motivation to get a job. I've used online calculators for working tax credits etc but we're not entitled to anything.

[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]Does your partner work over 30 hours, he may be able to get tax credits [/COLOR]


Sorry for such a long (and so negative) post but I just needed to sound off to people who understand. I can’t talk to anyone else.

Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 0

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 100
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1000
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1100

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 550 - [COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]have you applied for housing benefit, could you look at moving to a cheaper place[/COLOR]
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 92 - [COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]could you spread this over 12 months, again are you entitled to council tax benefit[/COLOR]
Electricity............................. 33 [COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]check all items such as lights off, [/COLOR]
Gas..................................... 15
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 15.4
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 38 (partners - i'd get rid of it if I could but he is in a contract)
TV Licence.............................. 12.12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 6 (Now tv as a treat)
Internet Services....................... 23 (bundle with phone) [COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]you can get this a lot cheaper, if your out of contract shop around[/COLOR]
Groceries etc. ......................... 160
Clothing................................ 10
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0 (walk or rely on lifts)
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0 (luckily I have medical exemption)
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 9.09
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10 (average, not every month)
Haircuts................................ 0 Never!
Entertainment........................... 10 Maybe rent a dvd from the library or buy a magazine)
Holiday................................. 0 Not for years
Emergency fund.......................... 0 Bad, I know - [COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]even if you could find £10 it would help[/COLOR]
Total monthly expenses.................. 998.61


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Various DCAs...................18340.....50........0
Partner Debt...................7500......24........0
Total unsecured debts..........25840.....74........- -[COLOR="rgb(65, 105, 225)"]its apparent that from your income you an't make these repayments at this level, reduce every debt to £1.

[/COLOR]


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,100
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 998.61
Available for debt repayments........... 101.39
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 74
Amount left after debt repayments....... 27.39

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -25,840
Net Assets.............................. -25,840

I haven't included money I owe my parents as they will wait until I can afford to pay them back. I'm not sure how we've ended up with £27 leftover but maybe I've underestimated some payments. We often end the month with a week when we can't spend anything. Anyway, any suggestions greatly appreciated.

I know your soa shows a surplus, but go through it again, even keep a diary / notebook for a month and see what you actually spend to what you estimate.

I would suggest...
apply for council tax and housing benefit
look at whether OH can get 30 hrs and look at tax credits

Pay £1 per debt - with a covering letter.

At the mo your debts are under 20k, I know bankrupty has been thrown into the equation, but if you feel this is too final, it may be worth holding off to Oct, when the rates change for debt relief order - goes up from 15k to 20k.

Contact a debt charity, I use stepchange and they have been really helpful, there are others such as Payplan (both have agents who are on the boards).

xx

[Deleted User]

SortingItOut wrote: »

Thanks for your reply. I think I've avoided the bankruptcy option as I know the debt could be paid off if I had a full time job.

Can I say, after 15+ years of full time work and no-one to come home to, I've just gone part time for pretty much the reasons you mention in your first post (thank you I was beginning to think this was what was happening personality wise) I just couldn't cope with it, modern day in the workplace, it only served to make matters far, far worse


In the end my parents have had to get involved (I am relived now the truth is out) so I think you need a hug from partner, don't shoulder it on your own


My views on money and the awful situations people get themselves in to because of will never change xx

charliewocka

Hi OP,


If you are suffering from depression and it is affecting your ability to work, have you looked to claim ESA, housing benefit etc.


As people have said, you have taken the first step and that is important. I don't have much to add other than your health is paramount - so try to focus on that. Suffering from anxiety and having had periods of depression (not to the same extent as you) I know it seems that there might not be light at the end of the tunnel. But there is. As I said, concentrate on YOU getting better, with the support of your partner and then things will seem clearer and manageable.


Wishing you all the best,
Floss.

andyfromotley

Hi sorting,

i think that you need to phone one of the debt CHARITIES, (be careful as some companies offer the same service but then charge you lots for it.)

Stepchange, CAP, or National debt Helpline will help you make sense of it. I dont think you are going to be able to get yourself out of this debt on your own.

rockm87

Hi

you can get to grips with this, you need to ensure your budget is exact. keep receipts, a little diary of EVERY penny and only count income you know is guaranteed.

Then you need to create a budget where you 'tell' the money where to go and not just watch it dissapear.

Youve taken the first step, you can tackle this!

Get something visual together, write it down, to keep your focus.

Contact step change for advice, and have a good nosy round these forums..

SortingItOut_2

Thanks for the encouragement guys. I know I need to improve my frame of mind and that will make things easier to manage.
I've just started a spending notebook for every penny so thanks for suggesting that. I might look at a free trial of YNAB that a lot of people on here like.

I'm reluctant to go on ESA as part of me worries I'll stay on it long term. I think my best bet is to find a low-stress part time job while I work out how to improve my health. I've got some books about mindfulness and positive psychology out of the library and have been using a free trial of Headspace which is a really good meditation app - 1st 10 days are free.

Moving to a cheaper flat isn't an option at the moment, We need £1500 upfront to cover fees, deposit and one month's rent to get this flat 3 years ago and we can't raise that right now.

I hadn't heard of a Debt Relief Order so I'll look into that. Bankruptcy does seem final when I'm hoping to improve my situation soon and I couldn't afford the fee anyway!

Thanks again for your responses, I feel a bit more positive today.