Bought a house with a noisey neighbour

ambioni

With houses, as with any other purchases, I always feel that "caveat emptor" ("buyer beware") applies.....in your case you might have discovered this problem before you bought the house had you spoken to some of the neighbours about the street before putting in an offer, although this doesn't always yield results....likewise visiting the street at different times of day/evening might have alerted you....now that you want to sell, it is up to the prospective buyers to find out this information and you should not feel bound to disclose it unless specifically asked (and even then you can downplay it). This may all sound a bit hard-faced but that is the reality of buying and selling any item whether it's a house, car, watch or whatever.

nubbins

I find that had to believe otherwise you would not be making comments like this, i'm sorry but its a ridiculous statement.

If it's on occasions but you arrive home thinking that 'tonight might be one her nights', you are fixating on her rather than her behaviour affecting you and this approach can be changed. It's your health that's important and how you view life is under your control.

moneyistooshorttomention

nubbins wrote: »

I find that had to believe otherwise you would not be making comments like this, i'm sorry but its a ridiculous statement.

If it's on occasions but you arrive home thinking that 'tonight might be one her nights', you are fixating on her rather than her behaviour affecting you and this approach can be changed. It's your health that's important and how you view life is under your control.

I wouldn't go so far as to say its a "ridiculous statement". What it is, however, is unrealistic. I know its currently fashionable to say that its not whatever-bad-thing-is-happening that is the problem and people should just change their attitude to the problem. Its a modern variant of that previous attitude of "Just live with it" about bad stuff - ie like doctors would expect you to just "live with it" about any health problem they couldn't identify and/or cure.

If something is bad then its bad imo and I don't think most of us would attempt to "just live with it" and try and change our own attitude and hope the problem would then stop bothering us. If its a problem that needs solving, then its a problem that needs solving....end of.

Davesnave

If you've 'just' bought your first house, then it would not be wise to attempt to sell it soon, as people and their building societies are very suspicious of houses which change hands fast.

Look upon this as something which is bloody annoying, but possibly for a limited period: say around 1.5 to two years. Many of us go through periods when our living circumstances aren't all we'd like them to be, but if it's for a foreseeable, finite period, it may be more bearable.

If this is drink and personality-related, then the odds are against anything changing, regardless of what you do. Councils have very blunt teeth when it comes to intermittent nuisance.

At least it's something which happens at night, not during normal viewing hours, so if you've not made a formal complaint, there will be nothing to disclose to potential buyers and no financial penalty, besides the inevitable cost of moving again.

Red-Squirrel_2

nubbins wrote: »

I find that had to believe otherwise you would not be making comments like this, i'm sorry but its a ridiculous statement.

If it's on occasions but you arrive home thinking that 'tonight might be one her nights', you are fixating on her rather than her behaviour affecting you and this approach can be changed. It's your health that's important and how you view life is under your control.

I don't think its ridiculous at all, I think its very good advice, and before you ask, yes I have had a noisy neighbour who used to drive me up the wall when I was working shifts!

We can't always change the world and the people around us to suit us and we can't make other people considerate or eliminate all the disturbances and annoyances of life. What we can do is work on our own thoughts and responses as much as possible. That's not about shifting responsibility or denying the problem, its about being realistic and doing what we can to minimise the impact on ourselves and our lives and our mental wellbeing.

If the woman next door was shouting and screaming 4+ nights a week, then that would be different, but the OP says it happens 'occasionally'. There's no need for them to be constantly on edge or thinking about it every night when it doesn't happen, that's not going to achieve anything other than making them more unhappy than they need to be. Even if they do decide to complain or move, they can still work on this approach in the meantime.

moneyistooshorttomention

A good point as to what OP means by "occasional". It could be once a week, once a month, once in a blue moon etc etc.......

My nfh neighbour occasionally tries to let me know she is "in charge" (in her opinion......:rotfl:) but she just has it made plain back that she isn't and then I go back to ignoring her until the next "occasional episode" she comes up with.

I wouldn't bother to mention that to viewers if I sold this house again. I'd just say the pure facts about what has happened and how it was resolved and (in my case) say how old she is (as she is pretty old now and giving her age would indicate how much longer these episodes are likely to continue). It would be up to the next owners of my house to "put her back in her box" if she started staging any more of these episodes on them (a habit she's not likely to break readily - as I've been told she did this to last owner of my house, who just hated her but did nothing to stop her acting that way).

Mojisola

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

What we can do is work on our own thoughts and responses as much as possible. That's not about shifting responsibility or denying the problem, its about being realistic and doing what we can to minimise the impact on ourselves and our lives and our mental wellbeing.

I'm glad someone else understands.

It isn't easy - which is what I said - but it is possible and I think it's necessary for your own well-being.

We went from looking back over a month when we'd been stressed every night, waiting for the noise to start and building up our own anxiety in anticipation to looking back over a month and realising that there had only been a few 'events' and all the other nights were quiet and peaceful.

Our stress levels dropped and we got to the stage when we could actually joke about it when it kicked off, got out the headphones/earplugs and did our best to ignore it.

Mojisola

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

What it is, however, is unrealistic. I know its currently fashionable to say that its not whatever-bad-thing-is-happening that is the problem and people should just change their attitude to the problem.

If something is bad then its bad imo and I don't think most of us would attempt to "just live with it" and try and change our own attitude and hope the problem would then stop bothering us. If its a problem that needs solving, then its a problem that needs solving....end of.

It's possible to do both!

Reducing your own stress levels while you deal with the authorities and sort out a permanent solution is still better for you than being highly-stressed while the usually quite slow process grinds on.

Bart1

kleapatra wrote: »

You would think wouldn't you? I've tried to complain about a house near me (running illegal garage, think noise, fumes etc, often all night) but no way am I putting my name anywhere near that complaint, they are known violent drug dealers. I tried to contact the council anonymously (several different departments as I wasn't sure if environmental health or planning were the best dept to deal with it) but both refused to even look at the complaint unless I gave them my name, address and DOB. I have no idea what difference knowing all my info makes to the fact these people make everyone in the vicinity's life a misery and they are breaking more laws than I have fingers but hey, typical jobsworth lacking in common sense council employees!

I think that's a good policy ..... If you are going to grass someone have the balls to put your name to it, anything else is just cowardly.

moneyistooshorttomention

Bart1 wrote: »

I think that's a good policy ..... If you are going to grass someone have the balls to put your name to it, anything else is just cowardly.

Looks forward to hearing whether you grassed known drug dealers or the like and gave your contact details in the process - and, if so, what happened?:cool:

I've grassed drug dealers and I certainly wasn't going to give my name and address.....