new widower needs help

allybee101

Condolences to your friend, OP.

Very well said FrugalWorker - it's not about being capable or not at cooking (or anything else), dealing with the turmoil of emotion that happens when you lose a loved one is tough. Getting through each day can feel like you're climbing a mountain. The suddenness of the loss gives no opportunity for any sort of mental preparation (conscious or subconscious). Experienced both types of loss and they each have their own impact.

Chilled soups and ready meals supplemented with some veg will be a good start. Could friends and family help with some batch cooking of food, split into individual portions for the freezer?
One of my super speedy after work dinners is crumpets/ muffins (the English ones, not the American ones!) with baked beans on top - quick, warming, comfort food that is ready within 10 mins.
Pouches of microwaveable rice are also super quick with some frozen veg and ready cooked chicken warmed up.

Eenymeeny

Lots of good ideas on here thanks. I'm sure that they'll be useful to many of us.
I know that it isn't what you asked for, but has your friend thought of popping into a supermarket cafe for a hot meal when they finish work? They're reasonably priced and could be a once a week treat maybe? I used to do this if I knew there were hold ups and found it much more pleasant to travel later when it was less crowded, and I was in much better humour because I'd been fed! He could have something that he really enjoyed but is a bit 'faffy' to make for one.

HOWMUCH

Can your friend cook?
What kind of food does he like?
Does he have a slow cooker?

Fruball

Cook pasta, stir in 2 tablespoons of cream cheese (philly style but shop's own brand) and some chopped ham. Grate fresh parmesan over the top and lots of black pepper. Easy and delicious.

Carbonara - cook pasta, fry bacon/lardons and throw them in with pasta, throw a beaten egg over that and stir through until egg sets. Finish with parmesan - again, simple and lovely.

I also agree with batch cooking and freezing. Soups, bolognese, SW casseroles etc all freeze really well.

LameWolf

Fruball I'm going to add those to my list of easy-to-do-on-a-bad-lupus-day ideas!;) I can easily substitute Qu0rn slices for ham.

I do think maybe the gentleman in question will be at the cba-cos-it's-just-me-now stage; I was like that when DH was in hospital a few months back; and I know before I moved in with the lovely man who is my DH, he used to eat his main meal in the work canteen and just have soup and a sandwich when he got home.

Fruball

Even easier is pasta with a tbsp butter and fresh crushed garlic (or just garlic butter if you buy that) with a teaspoon of parsley. I crave this sometimes! Might go make some now

Add mushrooms for garlic mushroom pasta add chicken for garlic and chicken pasta


ETA - I did go and make garlic butter spaghetti and it was yummy

prosaver

:Di made a big load of chilli mince , had one meal, bought some frezzer bags and put the in portions,
next week,have one portion with noodles spag ..anything.
try making a big chicken curry and do the same
spag boll. shepperds pie etc the worlds your oyster ..
and
end up being mr freeze (or Mrs):D:D:D

happilymarried2013

Is there any way that you can invite him to yours for tea or send him food parcels?

Tbh, I think him eating healthily at the moment is the least of his worries and he'd probably appreciate a friend to support and provide him with some company and memories of his wife. Condolences to your friend OP

PasturesNew

It's easy to "not be bothered" for any single person who works and comes home to an empty house every night.

I find it's good to have some cans of "interesting sounding chunky soup" in the cupboard to just grab/microwave (with or without toast, depending how energetic I was feeling). Beef/dumplings, mint/lamb are some I've had lately.

Also, I always keep in 2-3 tins of what I call "instant meals" - I've a can of Irish Stew in at the moment and, in the past, have picked up tins of meatballs in tomato sauce - served with a pouch of microwaveable rice this is passable.

Chicken in white wine sauce is good too - which can be served with instant mash and some peas.

One easy meal is to microwave a couple of small potatoes so you've got 'baked potatoes' - and top that with cheese/beans.

I think you need to start with the sort of food he likes and is used to and take it one step at a time, looking at variations/combinations. I love instant mash. I pour some into a jug, scrape out some marg with a fork, add water and stir .... get the consistency right and it's not as good as "real mash" but certainly heaps better than ready meal mash.

Walls do some packs of 6 (three individual packs of 2) cooked sausages - 2 minutes in the microwave. Couple of those could go in a sandwich.They now call them "ready baked" and have a new pack design. http://www.tesco.com/groceries/product/details/?id=259778189
Also great with the instant mash and half a tin of beans.

You can also scramble eggs in the microwave. The sausages, eggs, beans, toast = full cooked breakfast of a weekend!

Also, for those super lazy nights - many oven chips are fine microwaved. I have a low/shallow dish and I tip 1/4 of a 1Kg bag of Lidl's 59p oven chips (because they are quite brown looking) in and nuke them for: 3 minutes, toss them over, 3 minutes, toss them over, further 2-3 minutes. Lidl also do a nice pack of four frozen fishcakes I cook in the same dish for 3 minutes + 2 minutes. Serve with half a tin of peas or beans. These fishcakes look ready-cooked ... and get the timing right they even stay quite crispy - in fact, I had my first the other week and it was the best fishcake I've ever tasted as, until now, I'd always just had to small/pre-formed/orange-coated offerings from freezer depts.

I'd also recommend a small microwave veg steamer. I use mine to steam frozen veg; halve potatoes and steam baked potatoes (better end result/texture than just microwaving); steam rice (5 mins, stir, 5 mins). I use mine 2-3x a week.

It's not just the food you buy in .... and then make hot .... it's also thinking about minimising the trail of washing up

Pies are nice too - you can buy a big pie and cook 1/3rd several times over the coming week, or slice/freeze it. The problem with freezing stuff is that there's a finite amount of space in a freezer - and you still have to get round to eating it, so, overall, for one person, it's often better to try to not keep freezing things or you end up with a food-jam where there's no space to buy in ready meals ....as you've still 8 half loaves and 12 pie quarters to shift

Baked pie + steamed veg + instant mash + instant gravy = a really nice meal.

Cooking skills aside, what most people don't realise is that cooking for one, only for one, every day for one, after a day's working and returning to an empty (and dark) house .... simply holds NO joy whatsoever. Most of the joy of cooking is about doing it for others...... food therefore becomes more about 'food' rather than 'meals'. If he's genuinely interested/motivated, then he'll start to show more interest and maybe buy in some special gadgets .... if not, then you can't force somebody to like/enjoy cooking by giving them meal ideas that suit your likes/dislikes and not theirs.

Gadgets can suit some lifestyles/needs .... a soupmaker - or a SC + a piemaker ... things that others might say are a waste of time as they "make all theirs from scratch, with locally produced, organic produce they've picked up from their local purveyor...." Yeah ...pfft to all that

grunnie

An omelette - sometimes you are so tired, it is dark outside, you come home just ready to hide. Whisk 3 eggs with a fork and add some butter to a little frying pan when the butter sizzles add the eggs. Ready in a minute. Just eat and sleep. Maybe on a day off cook a meal and freeze a few portions for the freezer. But if you are not at that stage yet there are loads of ready meals available you can even get them delivered.