Please Help, feel like I am drowning

richsil85

Hi, I am in a pickle. I have pretty much £10k in credit card debt and while I am making mayments regularly it is stopping me and my family being able to live our lives and is really starting to have a negative impact on my mental health. I am wondering if anyone has any advice of what to do, if the credit card companies can be persuaded to reduce interest rates or anything? My credit rating is poor to average, the only issue with it is the amount of credit I have (am virtually at my maximum level of borrowing).

Know I have gone on a bit but any advice help anything would be appriciated.

ViolaLass

If you post an SOA http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php you can get lots of help and suggestions on how to reduce your outgoings and give you more to throw at the debt.

Do you have anything you can sell to put towards it?

mummy254

I was unwell last year and missed a few credit card payments. I now have a default as the card company kept pushing me to increase the payment and I couldnt afford to pay. I haven't told my husband and its killing me. I need a new car for work and mine is on its last legs. I'm drowning and taking panic attacks due to stress. Any kind words would help me. I really need to tell my husband but I'm frightened of him being disappointed. Feeling awful.

ampersand

Posting here is a big 1st step, the hardest and you have taken it, richsil85, as have you mummy254.

Next one's up to you, apart from posting an SOA here, safely anonymous.

Many here will praise CAPUK, in my signature, as does Martin and there are others charities like stepchange, only too ready to help you.

REMEMBER, YOU MUST NEVER PAY FOR DEBT HELP.

https://capuk.org/i-want-help/cap-debt-help/how-cap-can-help

The big news today is that the Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby has become Patron.
https://capuk.org/about-us
#
mummy254, please do start a Thread of your own, then msers can help each of you with tailored advice.

In the meantime, what I've written goes for you both.
#
CAPUk turn no-one away. Their way of stopping debt keeping you hostage and giving you your Life back really works.

immoral_angeluk

First steps are getting a full list of your creditors, the balances and APRs, plus a full breakdown of your income and expenditure. That way you can actually see what it going on with your finances and seek advice on your options.

The hardest step is the first, just keep putting one foot in front of the other now.

FatVonD

Is the £10,000 spread over several cards? Assuming the interest rate is similar on all of them in your situation I would pay down the one with the least on it first in the hope they would offer a 0% balance transfer deal once they see a zero balance (they hate to see a zero balance.) Transfer the next biggest to that card at 0% and hope for a deal on that one too. Rinse and repeat until you have shuffled the debt from all cards to 0% deals.

Then cut them up. In fact do that first as you won't need them for the shuffling

FatVonD

mummy254 wrote: »

I was unwell last year and missed a few credit card payments. I now have a default as the card company kept pushing me to increase the payment and I couldnt afford to pay. I haven't told my husband and its killing me. I need a new car for work and mine is on its last legs. I'm drowning and taking panic attacks due to stress. Any kind words would help me. I really need to tell my husband but I'm frightened of him being disappointed. Feeling awful.

You really need to tell your husband and ask for his help. Presumably he knew that your income had dropped due to illness so he should understand or did he not know that you had debt on your credit card?

sourcrates

richsil85 wrote: »

Hi, I am in a pickle. I have pretty much £10k in credit card debt and while I am making mayments regularly it is stopping me and my family being able to live our lives and is really starting to have a negative impact on my mental health. I am wondering if anyone has any advice of what to do.

How old are these accounts, when were they opened ?

Karen777

stick around, this is a great place fr advice and there is no situation that can't be improved in some way. Have a look at the stepchange website and like people have said, a statement of affairs will help cos people on here can suggest how you might be able to manage better. you'll soon be waving not drowning, honestly.

Vikipollard

mummy254 wrote: »

I was unwell last year and missed a few credit card payments. I now have a default as the card company kept pushing me to increase the payment and I couldnt afford to pay. I haven't told my husband and its killing me. I need a new car for work and mine is on its last legs. I'm drowning and taking panic attacks due to stress. Any kind words would help me. I really need to tell my husband but I'm frightened of him being disappointed. Feeling awful.

As others have said, you need to tell him, not only so he is aware of the situation and can work with you to sort it out, but also because the pressure of keeping it secret is overwhelming. Been there, done that. Unless you have been buying lavish items and living the high life recklessly, he will have benefited from whatever the debt was accrued from. Mine (as per signature) was almost £20k of credit card and loans he didn't know about, but it all went on food/petrol/essentials, not holidays and luxuries. I'd never heard of Freecycle for furniture in 2003 (if it existed then!).


£2 will get you your statutory credit report (don't pay for a pointless monthly subscription for a number no one sees). Then get all your latest statements in front of you to see exactly where you are. Depending on the type of person OH is, perhaps contact Stepchange or National Debtline (any of the free ones) first to see what they recommend. That way you may have a solution you can talk through with OH when you tell him.


Don't worry about him being disappointed. He may be cross, but equally he is likely to be saddened that you didn't feel able to talk to him about it so he couldn't support you. He may already suspect you are struggling and is just waiting for you to open up.

[Deleted User]

mummy254 wrote: »

I really need to tell my husband but I'm frightened of him being disappointed. Feeling awful.

Creditors have got a lot, lot better now at helping people if you want to have a chat with any first


I'm also with the talk to your husband**, can you think of it as like before someone else does, it's comes under helping yourself to be helped and people are much more inclined to understand, I can guarantee, one of the collection ladies where I been working said something along these lines only this week gone, though she said it more better then I can put it across : (


**From your username, I'm thinking there are children involved? as this stops me from wanting to suggest anything else right now


Please don't be hard on yourself, all is totally normal, I've had these feelings before and afraid it was double compounded as I've tried dealing with stuff on my own which has also made me stronger to a degree, but was rather then talk to loved ones only made it slightly worse years on as it really is like Viki has put at end of their post xx