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Meeting new people... after divorce/split.
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dearlouise
Posts: 354 Forumite
This is going to sound like a real pity party...
I've been single for just over a year and I'm really struggling to meet nice, normal people! I've dated, but they've all turned out a little weird... recently even the 'normal ones' are turning out a little odd with time.
I've tried online dating sites such as Plenty of Fish, okcupid, apps like Tinder. I've been on normal meeting groups like meetup.com and I've even joined Spice - an activity community thing. But the events are full of people who really aren't my age category (I'm 30) or people who I'd be friends with or even date.
I have a small tight-knit circle of friends who are coupled up or very good friends. I have a small selection of colleagues. I'm really limited on the amount of NEW people I meet.
I'm looking for suggestions on how to meet new people and/or a potential partner. I'm starting to feel a bit lonely!
I've been single for just over a year and I'm really struggling to meet nice, normal people! I've dated, but they've all turned out a little weird... recently even the 'normal ones' are turning out a little odd with time.
I've tried online dating sites such as Plenty of Fish, okcupid, apps like Tinder. I've been on normal meeting groups like meetup.com and I've even joined Spice - an activity community thing. But the events are full of people who really aren't my age category (I'm 30) or people who I'd be friends with or even date.
I have a small tight-knit circle of friends who are coupled up or very good friends. I have a small selection of colleagues. I'm really limited on the amount of NEW people I meet.
I'm looking for suggestions on how to meet new people and/or a potential partner. I'm starting to feel a bit lonely!
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I've been thinking about volunteering for something I think I'd enjoy (haven't settled on what yet
as I don't have much spare time but was thinking potentially the police - you can do non public facing roles and you only have to do 8 hours a month I think). I have kids so it's a bit more complicated.
You have age on your side so that's good
Think about what you like to do outside work. Walking? etc. etc. and see if there's a club you could join. It's always nice to meet someone who has the same interests.0 -
Don't worry, we all go through that. It is tough to meet new people when you get to your 30s.
Maybe you should concentrate on doing things that you enjoy.
If you do things that really interest you, you'll be more likely to meet people with common interests and it might be easier to develop friendships/relationships.
You could also ask your friends to introduce you to any other friends they might have, you'll probably have more things in common with them that with random strangers.0 -
Internet dating; meet-up; community thinggs, you seem to have had a go at all the usual ways If you've only been single for about a year i think you should try them again and percivere. What about some sort of voluntary work where you could meet new people.Liverpool is one of the wonders of Britain,
What it may grow to in time, I know not what.
Daniel Defoe: 1725.
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I would definitely persevere with meetup and plenty of fish or any other dating site, I made some really good friends through meetup and dated a few people through it although I met my current gf from PoF, and like you I was single for pretty much nearly a year, but it took me that long to recover from a cheating fiancee after 11 yrs together.0
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I think online dating would be a very good way of meeting new people at that age. You have to be prepared to put in a little work with it though, at least initially to write a good profile, and it can take a while to find the right person.
Why wasn't it working out for you, was it down to meeting 'weird' people?0 -
Don't worry, we all go through that. It is tough to meet new people when you get to your 30s.
Maybe you should concentrate on doing things that you enjoy.
If you do things that really interest you, you'll be more likely to meet people with common interests and it might be easier to develop friendships/relationships.
You could also ask your friends to introduce you to any other friends they might have, you'll probably have more things in common with them that with random strangers.
Spot on advice in my view. Stop trying, loosen up, do things you enjoy, meet new people, don't look for anything to happen and give it time.0 -
dearlouise wrote: »I've been single for just over a year and I'm really struggling to meet nice, normal people! I've dated, but they've all turned out a little weird... recently even the 'normal ones' are turning out a little odd with time.Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!
"No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio
Hope is not a strategy...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...I love chaz-ing!
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Have you got a friend who would go to any of the POF nights out with you? My friend and I went on a couple. No dates, but we did make a couple of great new friends.
I looked at Meet up but didn't eventually go, decided I had enough friends and not enough time. But I did use POF and OKCupid. My experiences (bar one!) were all positive, a couple of one off dates that never went any further, a couple of 3 daters that fizzled out due to me realising there was no spark, an now a year long relationship, that is light hearted, fun and suits us both. There are decent people on dating sites, you just have to siphon them off!0 -
Try Music nights......such as Unplugged or Open Mic at local pubs. Plenty of folk go on their own - and you do not have to play anything at all.
Just go to listen to the music and soon you will get chatting... (Just not too loudly when a quiet singer is on)!0
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