Will life always be like this

Nargleblast

CrossFit_Duck

Hope your discussion with Payplan clarifies things for you and helps you put a plan into action.

In answer to your question "Will life always be like this?" The answer is a big fat NO! Why? Because you, CrossFit_Duck, have changed the course of your life by booking that call to Payplan and by posting on here. From here on things can only get better.

dancingfairy

Sorry to hear things are so tough right now. One of the cruel things about stress/depression/anxiety is that you loose perspective and it feels like it's hopeless and it will never get better. This is your illness talking, it's not true.
Don't forget that when you're bouncing along the bottom, the only way is up.
Personally I've found drugs can be really helpful to lift the cloud of depression/anxiety enough for you to be able to start to deal with things, but have a chat with your doctor - they may recommend tablets or some kind of talking therapy (or a combination of both).
I hope that after a hard day yesterday things are a tiny bit brighter today.
df

Jon_B_2

I think some perspective is needed here.

You own and live in a house. You have a sufficient income that you can spare £1k/month to hammer down your debt. Keep on like that your credit cards are clear in 3 years time.

I don't want to sound harsh, but you quite clearly have an end in sight. I think debt especially credit cards is an extension of wanting something NOW. Do you know what? Exercise some patience, your debt is going to come down quickly, but these things take time.

You don't need to renegotiate your debts and damage a credit file.

Focus on the easily achievable light at the end of the tunnel.

pathtofreedom

I can't help with the debt but I understand the stress. It can be hard when you live alone and everything is all on you to fix. There is help out there, do you have any friends you could talk to? Not about the debt specifically but just to have a moan about work and stress in general, it might help just to talk to someone just so you don't feel so alone with it all.

How long have you been working where you are? If you can try not to let them rush you back too soon unless you're ready, do you have sick pay that will cover you for a bit, so you can have a breather and get back on an even keel?

If you're in a well paid job like this you know it will be down to making a plan, you might not be able to see the wood for the trees just yet but there is a way out. Once you get your head clearer and get some sleep it will fall into place more what you're doing is ok. So keep on posting as you're in the right place.

CrossFit_Duck

Thank you all so much for your kind and constructive replies. A lot of very good advice and words of wisdom which I am reading over and over to help it all go in my head.


The start of my panic came from 3 out of 4 credit cards contacting me to tell me they are reducing the limit and raising the interest rate. My overdraft is due for review in May and I worry they will want that paid off too. I have not applied for any credit or missed payments so I guess I am now shown as high risk to my existing lenders. Then my car needed a couple of hundred pounds to be repaired and the boiler stopped working, after spending £300 on it, and it is now dead.


So lots of pressure and then, I collapsed, found myself in hospital, and panic settled in about what will happen to me if I can't get back on my feet. Thankfully, physically I am getting better, but I am feeling really depressed and this is affecting my perspective. Logically, I can see this but emotionally, it feels an enormous weight to carry.


I am waiting for an appointment with the doctor to discuss getting some help - drugs and counselling, if that's available, as I think I need help to cope with things now.


Payplan were very supportive and not at all judgemental. They took all the details and they advised on these two options:
Remortgage
We are recommending this because This option will stop you from affecting your credit rating and you can consolidate your debt to make one affordable monthly payments. Secured Loan
We are recommending this because This option will stop you from affecting your credit rating and you can consolidate your debt to make one affordable monthly payments.

I am in limbo about what to do and too many thoughts are going through my head that I can't even begin to articulate here. My current mortgage runs until October and the early repayment fees are £5,500 now which makes me think I should wait....? The secured loan would pay off everything but I have one credit card on 0% until October 2016 so it troubles me that I would be paying interest on that from now...? Ultimately, I am scared about securing a loan to my only asset but can I manage to protect my home if I don't take this option? Can I cope to carry on like this?


There is a battle going on in my head between the helpful thoughts like: things are different now, I am aware of my finances, I am using YNAB (someone asked - I find it so handy too!), I am accounting for every penny, I reduced my monthly outgoings tremendously, I am making conscious decisions about my spending, and the damning thoughts about how stupid I have been, how embarrassed I am to discuss this with any friends, how my boyfriend would end things if he knew, how I don't have a penny to fall back on or any assets worth selling other than the house and many many more.


I am rambling on, I am sorry. This is what is going on in my head all the time!


I agreed to let Payplan know today what I want to do so if anyone has any strong views either way, please do let me know - thank you so much.

Stewart_78

The first question I would ask is how important is your credit rating to you? Would a trashed credit file affect your work? Do you see the need to get finance for anything in the next few years (phone / car etc.).

I tried to protect my excellent credit rating for far too long before realising that the game was up.

Secondly, can you find out when your credit card accounts where first opened and who with? This is important and may effect the decisions you need to make.

At the end of the day, you earn a good wage and your problems are certainly sortable. I know it can all get too much when you are in the middle of the storm but try to think calmly and stick here as you will get some excellent advice. Good luck, you can sort this.

FireWyrm

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

and the boiler stopped working, after spending £300 on it, and it is now dead.

Fix the boiler. It is your highest priority right now because although we are coming into the summer months and heating is no longer an issue, water will be.

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

but I am feeling really depressed and this is affecting my perspective. Logically, I can see this but emotionally, it feels an enormous weight to carry.

We are here. You are not alone.

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

I am waiting for an appointment with the doctor to discuss getting some help - drugs and counselling, if that's available, as I think I need help to cope with things now.

Top priority, like the next few days. You need a prescription for anti-depressants to even you out and give you back your perspective. You dont need them for long, a few months tops.

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

Payplan were very supportive and not at all judgemental. They took all the details and they advised on these two options:
Remortgage
We are recommending this because This option will stop you from affecting your credit rating and you can consolidate your debt to make one affordable monthly payments.

God no! This is a last resort, final nuclear option. Never ever turn unsecured debt into secured. Screw your credit rating. You dont need it for most things. Yes, the remortgage is a priority and a good credit rating can affect this, but you can always go onto SVR and wait until you are sorted again.

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

Secured Loan
We are recommending this because This option will stop you from affecting your credit rating and you can consolidate your debt to make one affordable monthly payments.

No. Same a a mortgage to all intents and purposes. You are still turning unsecured into secured. Exactly what you dont want to do.

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

My current mortgage runs until October and the early repayment fees are £5,500 now which makes me think I should wait....?

Yes. Wait and see what happens. Do not duck for cover until you see the bomb falling and know where it is going to land. You dont at the moment. Knuckle down and start whacking money at those debts.

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

Ultimately, I am scared about securing a loan to my only asset but can I manage to protect my home if I don't take this option?

You wont protect your home by shackling it to a secured debt. At the end of the day, if you default on your debts, all that will happen is a bunch of CCJs and a few slaps on the wrist. If you go secured and default, you lose your home.

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

and the damning thoughts about how stupid I have been,

Join the club lady

We have all been stupid. Hi, my name is FireWyrm and I've been a prize idiot for most of my life....

Hands up anyone here who hasnt been a twit for the last x number of years? Anyone?

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

how embarrassed I am to discuss this with any friends,

Dollars to doughnuts the reaction you would get would be..."you too? Wow, I thought it was just me"

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

how my boyfriend would end things if he knew,

Then perhaps you should re-evalute the calibre of the person you are living with. It does happen, I wont lie, but generally speaking, those kinds of people are the type you can do without anyway.

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

how I don't have a penny to fall back on or any assets worth selling other than the house and many many more.

Neither does anyone else. Really. I have almost nothing worth stealing let alone selling. If stuff happens to me, I have to just work around it, like the £980 I spent last month on car repairs (see my other thread)

CrossFit_Duck wrote: »

I agreed to let Payplan know today what I want to do so if anyone has any strong views either way, please do let me know - thank you so much.

Screw your credit rating. Do not secure debt that is unsecured.

rockm87

All hail Firewyrm wisdom!!

frizz2

Hi Cross Fit Duck,
sorry to hear about your worries. It really helps to confide in someone and discuss it with them. I hope the support you are getting from this thread helps. I would try and see if you can have an earlier appointment with your doctor, I am on medication and before I was I could not sleep at night worrying and feeling anxious. Once I got medication I was able to sleep at night and felt much better about my worries. I also had counselling at a later stage and it really helped me.
Write a mind map considering all options, sometimes that can help you see issues and weigh them up.
In the past I have been in debt and worked through it. Take care of your self.

pathtofreedom

If you're making the payments ok I'd be hesitant to remortgage or get a secure loan myself. You're not going to fix this overnight the same way you didn't spend all the money in a month. You have to be as kind to yourself as you can about this. Imagine a friend came to you about this, try and take a step back from yourself and what would you say to them? People can say horrible things to themselves and put all sorts of stress and pressure on that they would never do to a friend. So if you'd never speak to a friend like that, tell that horrible voice in your head to shutup and you're not going to let it win. At the end of the day it is only money, you didn't murder anyone - well that you told us about ;0) - and behind closed doors you'd probably be amazed how many people you know are drowning in credit card debt to pay for all those fancy holidays or whatever.

It might take 2-3 years to pay off, and yes you might have to pay some interest if you can't move to another 0% later, but there are snowball calculators to help figure out which card to chuck the most at first to save the most interest. Just think of the interest as stupid tax and once you're debt free again that will help stop you doing this again.

At the moment just keep using ynab, make the payments, post an soa if you haven't already and keep reading and asking on here. There are so many clever people with incredbile ways to still be able to live a fun life but it not having to cost a forutune with different deals and vouchers so you won't feel like you're missing out as much.

Even if you don't feel you can talk to your friends about this directly it is still worth leaning on them, and just blame being ill on stress of work and having someone to have a good old moan to always helps. Or come moan on here, there will always be someone who's been there and done that and also knows the way out again who can help.