Someone regarding an idea as "theirs" because it came through them...

moneyistooshorttomention

I've done loads of voluntary work over many years now personally...but haven't encountered this particular scenario before now personally.

The scenario being that someone came up with/pushed a particular idea of theirs for something that would be of benefit to the community....but then tried to act like they are "in charge" and make out they are in a supervisory role and all decisions are theirs (or, at the least, must go through them) because of them having had a large input to start with.

I don't quite get this personally...but have just run slap bang up against it in something I am volunteering in.

I personally take the view that if its Time for an idea to come into the World then it comes in and, even if I am the person that initiated it...then its not my "property" and I have no more right than anyone else to dictate what happens from here on in.

I have come up with a really Big Idea (that many will have heard of) before now....but didn't try to "claim ownership" of and dictate how it was implemented. I just regarded it as an Idea that "came through me" and put it out there fwiw and didn't claim any ownership of it.

So...as the person who the particular idea came through seems to be trying to "claim ownership" and say how it will be implemented then I guess I'm in the position of "Time to Move On" then...as that isn't how I personally work.

I'm quite sad right now...but it is what it is and am thinking "Never mind...time to move on" and I cant be doing with this.

Has anyone else "been there/done that" in that type of situation and how did things go from there. Did you manage to persuade the person the idea "came through" to relinquish control of it and accept it was going to be implemented democratically from there on in - or did you have to "cut losses" and move on and find a more democratic group?

What happened?

This particular scenario hasn't occurred to me before now and I'm a bit flummoxed by it to be truthful...

whitewing

If I come up with something, I have usually put a great deal of thought into it and therefore have eliminated a lot of unworkeable elements to it, which would waste time if others would want to come up with those themselves. For some people an idea is just something that comes out of their mouth; for others, it is something that is only presented when lots of excellent effort has gone on.

I would say that you should go with the current flow as a learning experience. The personality of the idea-generator may irritate you, but see your benefit as doing something very differently than you would be comfortable with (as long as the overall outcome doesn't suffer).

I would be interested to hear how it goes over the next few months.

moneyistooshorttomention

That is a very valid point that something may be either an Idea that just popped out of someones mouth on the one hand or may have been thought through very carefully on the other hand.

My Big Idea (that a lot will have heard of) was thought through very carefully and all sorts of details worked out on it...but I do see where you are coming from that sometimes people will just come out with something just straight "off the top of their heads" having only just come up with it.

There are a few people that have gone on to make money subsequently by getting paid jobs implementing my Big Idea I had...but I was never one of them and pretty soon got over the fact that I thought it would have been nice if I had been one of them in the circumstances.

Apologies...that I guess I am having a bit of a rant right now that if I could give away a really Big Idea and not try to be egotistic about it/get anything for myself from it then its hurting right now to see someone trying to claim "ownership" of a much smaller idea that came through them.

Oh well...a good nights sleep and a few more tears shed and I guess I'll get "back on track" of thinking "Oh just blow it....and if that's how they want to be about things. Next please.....". I guess I was just taking my cue from a couple of people before me that had also had Big Ideas and just given them away and didn't act that way...and that's how I thought/think things should be.

A few hours sleep later and I guess I'll feel more philosophical about it and "Oh well....Ms Ego can suit herself...and its no big deal...but if that's how she wants to think...:rotfl:" and find a "better place to be" for trying to "do my bit" to help the community a bit...:cool:

Errata

If there's funding / cash involved - there be dragons! If not, let them get on with it, they'll either be a success with it or crash and burn.

moneyistooshorttomention

There's no money in it for anyone.

Its a community service. My fear is that it will "crash and burn" if the person who had the idea in the first place doesn't stop trying to treat everyone else like paid employees (when that isn't possible - because no-one is paid).

Fingers crossed eh...

Errata

Not an unusual scenario for a potless community group it's the Queen Bee syndrome I'm afraid. Fingers crossed indeed, especially if you're the only one who can see what's what.

moneyistooshorttomention

Very apt title - ie Queen Bee Syndrome.

I am certainly aware of two other people who are chafing at the bit re this at least. One is a friend of mine and its her that first drew my attention to this - as she hasn't done any voluntary work before now and has been commenting on various aspects of this and wondering if its "normal" and her comments have certainly got me thinking through my previous encounters with voluntary work and hence realising it certainly isn't normal.

All my friends comments to the effect of "We ARE all volunteers aren't we? - so why is this/that/the other happening" has certainly given me food for thought.

One of my friends recent comments was to effect of being horrified that I was being "hauled over the coles" by Queen Bee because she disagreed with me about something and Friend was saying "But....she was acting like a paid supervisor...and she ISNT" and she was quite disgusted by it.

Hence we've both been discussing this and trying to figure out whether there is a way to get this group back on track and working the way volunteer groups normally work (ie as one of us - ie me - has had a lot of experience that this isn't how things normally are).

Hence the problem my friend and I both have that neither of us are really quite ready to retire yet/are basically doing "our bit" in order to meet new people in an environment that is new to us and would have both "voted with our feet" in the much bigger/more urban environments we have come here from...but we are very conscious "Things are different here"...and we don't just have the option to walk out of things in the way we are both used to in "bigger" environments.

To date the 3 of us respectively are at:

- Confront it head on (ie that's me then....)
- Just vote with feet (ie my friend)
- Be devious and "work around" Queen Bee and try to out-manoeuvre them (ie someone else in this that I am friendly with)

Errata

Who's responsible for steering this shambles? Volun
teer management group or board or similar. If such a body doesn't exist then whoever grabs the tiller can steer the ship in any direction they choose.
Allow the Queen Bee to do it and you'll be up crap creek without a paddle, and sometimes things that need fixing aren't fixable.
Two options: one is for you and other likeminded souls to have a very down to earth discussion with Queen Bee, the other is for your to leg it and find some different community work.
If you have the backbone to do a 'workaround' suggest applying for a small community grant from your LA, which you won't get unless there's some form of governance and good solid reasons will be given for not coughing up a couple of hundred quid seed funding.

moneyistooshorttomention

We have a management committee - which all 3 of us aforementioned are on.

Have just had the news that another major volunteer is "on board" for trying to sort this out (ie someone who has played a substantial role in this to date, but isn't an egoist).:T

Starting to feel reasonably optimistic that, between 4 of us (and A.N. Other on the committee), we can find a way to deal with Queen Bee.

It does rather look like a volunteer who previously put in quite a bit of work on this might have left because of Queen Bee. I don't know if we can persuade this person to get back on board (fingers crossed we can manage it - but obviously we have to understand if they don't). But it does rather seem to prove the point of what is happening here.

I am absolutely useless at being tactful I do know...so it looks as if the others will find ways to deal with this "tactfully" and I can do the "hard guy" tell it like it is stuff if need be (now that is something I can do....).

I think the phrase about "whoever grabs the tiller" sounds a pretty appropriate one here. My friend and I haven't been in this group since the outset, so this went on before our time...but I would say this is probably what happened by the sound of it.

moneyistooshorttomention

The plot thickens and its now become clear that the person who thinks they are In Charge (despite being a volunteer too) has done a bit of rather "fancy footwork" manoeuvring to get themselves some "credentials" that make that 'fact' plain:cool:.

It's all very clear now as to just what has happened and I'm feeling a bit sick that it does look like it was deliberately done.

However - not to worry - it's all so crystal clear what has been done that it should be possible to "unravel it" and get the organisation on a democratic footing now.:T

I'm not going to win Popular Person of the Year Award with the Arch-Manipulator that thinks they are "in charge"....but I expect I'm in the doghouse anyway in their books....:cool:

m4rc

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

However - not to worry - it's all so crystal clear what has been done...

Well I'm glad it's crystal clear to you as we don't have a clue what you are on about!

Why not share the 'idea' so you get some good feedback and comments, if here's no money involved and you don't want someone taking all the credit there's nothing to lose, and you might well find its not as clever as ey think it is