can ex sell the house

miaoww

Hi - not sure if this is the right thread / group
my ex and I split coming on to two years now - we have 2 children (12 and 9 yrs old) due to his income and mine it was agreed (verbally) that I stay in the house take on the mortgage and secured loan (both are in joint names)- I claim the tax credits to help towards this and he gets to be debt free find a house (which hes done) and we have the kids 50/50 week on week off. Hes now having I assume financial issues and wants me to transfer the tax credits to him as he earns less and can claim more then he'll give me half (don't trust this to happen tbh) or hes gonna force sale of the house. Ive had his mother texting me saying if he goes to live there the kids cant stay as shes old and arthritic and he'll have to give her money so I cant have any maintenance (this was all news to me - I didn't even know hed been saying anything to her esp when he hasn't talked to me in the first place). have a few issues

1. im paying the secured loan and mortage and can afford to do so and have been for the last two years with no help (apart from the tax credits) does that help my situation
2. the house is in negative equity
3. im not sure if the house has a charging order from previous banckrupsy in my name
4. im checking with land registry who owns the deeds (it still has mortgage etc but not sure if I had to come off and official receiver when on it- bankrupsy has now come off my credit record
5. am I better just selling and starting fresh - clearing debt but not sure if ill get a mortage on my own that way no ties and no claim but I haven't got any money for deposit
6. if he's unable to afford rent and gonna be at his mums then kids will be back with me full time and tbh they need a roof over their heads

I offered to look at my finances and possibly give him some money towards the kids but it wouldn't be much as im not exactly rolling in it myself but he wants the tax credits and im worried that in signing them to him he'll then try for full custody or cause more hassel some other way. hes always said he wants them full time but then he'd have to give up work and claim benefits.
Any help / advise would be welcome - I am getting legal advise but not until next week and its stressing me out

TBagpuss

were you married? If not, and if the house is either in joint names or in his sole name, then it would be possible for him to force a sale, so you could both move o.

As the children split their time equally between the two of you, look into the possibility of each of you claiming for one child? You could sign the Child benefit for your 12 y.o to his dad, and agree that he would claim tax credits for that child. You could continue to claim CHB and tax credits for the 9 y.o - and the two of you can discuss whether either of you should be providing any further financial support to the other for the children.

miaoww

still married (unfortunately) and joint mortgage and secure loan and just checked land registry is in both our names - was worried as it said I think on shelter if it was under just one person they had the right to house

dancingfairy

If he's really daft/hell bent on the idea he could try. I can't see that he has any case though. It'll cost him time and money to do it and whilst the judge might agree to the sale, there is no money in it (now I assume the mortgage lender would then have to agree to sale with a shortfall). Does he want to be responsible for half the debt?
I don't think it's a straightforward process forcing a sale and the judge would obviously consider you and the children in all of this. I can't see there is any reason why your ex would even consider this?
It is just madness.
df

BigAunty

Do you currently receive any child maintenance from him? There is CM info on the Direct Gov website including a calculator of what they expect a non resident parent to contribute which takes into account the nights they reside with him. It's not clear if you are receiving it now but it is clear that the MIL or your ex thinks that he has no obligation to pay it if he moves in with her.

Are you happy (or not) to give him half the tax credits considering he has the kids half the time? If so, why don't you just set up a standing order to his account to pay this half to him rather than worry that he'll rip you off if he receives full payment from the state and not pass on your share.

Look at the Shelter website for information on an occupation order to see if stand a chance of securing one. This would give you the right to live in the jointly owned property on your own until the youngest one turns 18, for example. Get legal advice on this.

Don't really understand why the MIL is applying pressure - can you not just block her or tell your ex (or her) that childcare and child accommodation issues are between just you and him and could he/she respectfully bow out it. Tell him that his obligation to pay child maintence to feed and clothe his children continue whatever debt obligations or financial commitments he has - he doesn't get to choose to pay.not pay it when it suits his pocket or change in circumstances.

He sounds a right catch - these pressure tactics are horrible, particularly when he (or his mother) is roped in to give you extra hassle - was he like this when you were married to him?

TBagpuss

as you are married then any issues would normally be dealt with by way of a finacial order as part of the divorce.

An occupation order would not be appropriate - that is a temporary (usually 6 or 12 month) order to protect you if there has been domestic abuse.)

It would be possible for the court, as part of any divorce settlement, to make an order allowing you to remain in the house until the children leave school (provided you can afford to meet the outgoings), however, as you and he have shared care, for equal amounts of time, with each of you, a court has to consider their housing needs while they are with their dad, as well as when they are with you. The need is equal for both of you,. so there is no obvious reason why your housing needs would take priority over his.

I think BigAunty may have overlooked the shared care aspect here - it may still be appropriate for him to provide some child support if his income generally is significantly higher than yours, but equally it would be reasonable for him to have half of the benefits.

miaoww

He agreed for me to have the tax credits to help pay the secured loan and mortgage - he's obviously contacted them to be told only one can claim - he never mentioned he'd try n do that - no because he took on the rented house relying on the benifits instead of checking first it's my problem . No point him forcing sale as theirl be loads of costs involved - my main concern is if I change tax credits into his name then his next step for him will be to try and get full custody as he's always saying that s what he wants then he' l have to give up work prob. Hrs after a quick fix lump sum from house which he won't get by time fees and debt is paid and we'd all be out on the streets

RAS

You say the hosue is in negative equity? How much?

And what lump sum does he think he will get if the sale price does not cover the mortgage and secured loan?

BigAunty

Why do you or he think the receipt of tax credits is going to facilitate a change in who has physical custody of the children? Surely these are separate things?

Surely you or he do not think he can afford the legal fees to force a sale of the property and secure primary physical custody?

What is stopping you from paying half the tax credits to him? Does this mean you will financially struggle, do you not think he has any moral entitlement to it, do you think if you give him 50% of the tax credits, it somehow places him in a better position to win custody of the kids?

Is he currently contributing anything towards child maintenance? If he does, do you fear that he will carry out his threat to withdraw CM if he moves in with his mother (who seems happy to reduce the living standards of her grandchildren despite the reduction in living expenses that sharing a property with her rather than renting one on his own may bring?).

Do you realise that he can legally take up residency in your house whenever he likes unless you have an occupation order or similar in place?

Have you thought about giving him a reality check by offering to sell the current property and asking him how he plans to service the debt that will come from it and how much you expect he will have to pay towards the estate agency and legal fees to offload it, plus the neg equity to the lender?

Does he know that while as joint owner, you will also be jointly and severally liable for the debt and secured loan, if you aren't in employment, there is no realistic prospect of the lenders getting anything other than a token sum from your benefits compared to his obligations because he is in employment?

Go to the debt free wanabee board to understand what options or DM strategies are available to you to cope with the worst case scenario of you selling the property.

dodger1

miaoww wrote: »

1. the house is in negative equity
2. am I better just selling and starting fresh - clearing debt

If the property is in negative equity how will you clear the debt and how will your husband pay his share? I suggest you get an answer from him, maybe he doesn't realize how much he will be liable for.

miaoww

The negative equity is about £20,000 I think
he doesn't pay any maintenance as he doesn't feel he has to
he did initially pay a token sum when he first moved out and couldn't have kids due to his housing situation and that wasn't consistent - I agreed that neither of us would pay any maintenance as once hes sorted and has them one week and me the other that's fair but ill have the benefits to be able to keep the house (secured loan and mortage payments) and be able to afford food clothing etc for kids and they wouldn't have the added stress of moving .
I don't think I can afford to give him anything as things are pretty tight anyway
neither of us are going to be better off trying to sell the house and I haven't got money floating around for fees and stuff and nor has he but all he can see is that he needs money and hasn't thought the process through.
I don't know if giving him tax credits would improve his situation regarding custody - we only have a verbal agreement regarding that and hes already trying to go back on that now hes realised only one person can claim the tax credits which he agreed would be me
Ive no idea why he took on a house rental thinking he would get extra money if he had any sense he would of took it on calculating from what he could afford without benefits then anything else would be a bonus
yes I looked at shelter and realised he could try and come back home but I don't think he would - I previously changed the locks (although I also know legally I couldn't) but hed been in the house going through my documents and stuff whilst I was at work - I don't have keys to his rental property (I know its not the same) but I need my privacy - I aint really got anything to hide from him he could just ask if he wanted anything but I was unsettled and upset that hed been here whilst I wasn't - he knows I changed them - he does have access to the garage still . The way things are at the moment hed refuse a occupancy order anyway .
Regard tax credits and custody - he is determined to find any way possible to have full custody even though we verbally agreed we wouldn't do this to each other for the sake of the kids they need both of us but when the @hit hits the fan so to speak he threatens having full custody and I know he will try every which way to get it - also why should tax credits pay out more they pay me anyway just because he earns less and can possibly claim more why should they when they pay me - I work full time and wouldn't claim at all if I didn't have to .