House Move and Mortgage - now with Marital and Ownership Issues

MaggieMoo44

We accepted an offer on our house a week before I discovered my husband was having an affair (after 10 years of marriage together and 1 child). With the help of Relate counselling we have decided to try to work things out but I am obviously currently unable to fully trust my husband.

I have a £40k sum of advanced inheritance of my own that we were planning to use as a deposit for our new house and we would also be taking out a larger mortgage. He has no deposit of his own.
We have been keen to move house for some time and while I suggested to my husband that it makes sense that we pull out of the sale and stay put for a couple of years, he says that a house move would be a new start for us and wants to go ahead (we haven’t found a house we want to buy yet as have put all that on hold). I would dearly love to move still and try to move on with our lives but need to protect myself financially.

How can I secure my £40k deposit should he stray again or decide to leave in the next few years? As a married couple, I fear that we are unable to legally own the house in unequal shares (neither of us have been married before or have children from a previous relationship to take into consideration). From what I have read, we can purchase the new house as ‘Tenants in Common’ giving us unequal shares but in the event of divorce, matrimonial law would override this, meaning that he would own 50% or everything. I am confused.

Also, should he decide to leave, myself and child would want to stay in the new marital home. As this would be a larger mortgage than we currently pay, is he obliged to pay adequate to ensure that we can stay in the house or will I struggle to pay the mortgage and be forced to sell?

Any help appreciated! Thanks.

Floxxie

I am sorry to hear what you are going through. It is not unusual for a cheating husband or wife to suggest moving house, spending a large amount on holidays, home improvements etc. Mine suggested we spend £40k on home improvements: a debt I was left with.

Personally I wouldn't be moving either. It would not matter whether you were tenants in common or joint tenants on divorce as the courts have powers under the Matrimonial Causes Act to split the property as required. Unfortunately everything that you have as a married couple goes into the asset pot for division. The starting point is 50/50 but other factors such as length of marriage, earnings, child's welfare etc are taken into account.

I would also not be moving due to the mortgage situation: you don't mention earnings but assuming they are similar, then he would only pay child maintenance for the children, which you would be expected to use to pay the mortgage with (or towards at least).

In my situation, the house was transferred into my name but my ex-husband remains as a named person on the mortgage. He has no legal or equitable interest in the property. He retained a greater proportion of his pensions. I got a very large mortgage debt to maintain.

Wikivorce is a good place to obtain advice about your particular situation.

Good luck!

MaggieMoo44

Thank you.


Yes, we earn about the same and pay half the mortgage each. Neither of us are massive earners and the joint mortgage would be over £200k and in the event of a divorce, his child maintenance payments certainly wouldn't cover half of my mortgage payments.


I was hoping there would be some sort of 'pre-nup' but for existing married couples where we could both sign a legal agreement agreeing unequal shares in the event of a divorce but there doesn't seem to be anything that once married, matrimonial law doesn't override.


I don't want to be stuck in our current already cramped home forever (I had been wanting to move for quite some time already) and would love a fresh start to our marriage with him in a new home too but until trust between us has been established again (and not sure how that will take) it does seem like too much of a risk to move house anytime soon.

borkid

Have you thought about selling your house and renting a larger one in the short term, say a year, to see how things go, then make a decision?

Thrugelmir

MaggieMoo44 wrote: »

Yes, we earn about the same and pay half the mortgage each. Neither of us are massive earners and the joint mortgage would be over £200k and in the event of a divorce, his child maintenance payments certainly wouldn't cover half of my mortgage payments.

The downsides would appear too great. Why not stay in your cramped house until the future become more certain. This would at least give you and your child the security you need.

meaning that he would own 50% or everything

The divorce settlement would need to take into account the welfare of your child. So your joint assets would more than likely be in favour. i.e. 60/40, 65/35 even 70/30.

For the time being do nothing with the £40k. Other than leave it on deposit.

Jhoney_2

Keep your inheritance out of the mix, perhaps continue to save into it towards whatever home purchase you wish to do in the future - whether together or not - that's your separate security for you and your child.

Then you can put all your efforts into your relationship and building trust etc, without worrying about the additional investment you have added at a fragile time in the marriage.

I hope it works out for you both.

Mojisola

MaggieMoo44 wrote: »

I have a £40k sum of advanced inheritance of my own that we were planning to use as a deposit for our new house and we would also be taking out a larger mortgage. He has no deposit of his own.

If you already have that money then it doesn't matter whether you use it as a house deposit or keep it in savings - it's an asset of the marriage.

Jhoney_2

True, but it's not potentially tied up in a new/bigger house that cannot be afforded if things don't go well.

Mojisola

Jhoney wrote: »

True, but it's not potentially tied up in a new/bigger house that cannot be afforded if things don't go well.

MaggieMoo44 wrote: »

How can I secure my £40k deposit should he stray again or decide to leave in the next few years?

But it doesn't help keep the £40k safe from her OH.

As others have said, I think moving would be unwise while the relationship is shaky.

Jhoney_2

MaggieMoo44 wrote: »

We accepted an offer on our house a week before I discovered my husband was having an affair (after 10 years of marriage together and 1 child). With the help of Relate counselling we have decided to try to work things out but I am obviously currently unable to fully trust my husband.

I have a £40k sum of advanced inheritance of my own that we were planning to use as a deposit for our new house and we would also be taking out a larger mortgage. He has no deposit of his own.
We have been keen to move house for some time and while I suggested to my husband that it makes sense that we pull out of the sale and stay put for a couple of years, he says that a house move would be a new start for us and wants to go ahead (we haven’t found a house we want to buy yet as have put all that on hold). I would dearly love to move still and try to move on with our lives but need to protect myself financially.

How can I secure my £40k deposit should he stray again or decide to leave in the next few years? As a married couple, I fear that we are unable to legally own the house in unequal shares (neither of us have been married before or have children from a previous relationship to take into consideration). From what I have read, we can purchase the new house as ‘Tenants in Common’ giving us unequal shares but in the event of divorce, matrimonial law would override this, meaning that he would own 50% or everything. I am confused.

Also, should he decide to leave, myself and child would want to stay in the new marital home. As this would be a larger mortgage than we currently pay, is he obliged to pay adequate to ensure that we can stay in the house or will I struggle to pay the mortgage and be forced to sell?

Any help appreciated! Thanks.

Mojisola wrote: »

But it doesn't help keep the £40k safe from her OH.

As others have said, I think moving would be unwise while the relationship is shaky.

This is what I was referencing. OP did not exactly mention keeping the money safe from her OH, and as she herself stated, there is nothing in her research to say that would be possible.