Potential problem for the future

kingfisherblue

I really don't like it when people seem to fight over a Will, especially when the person hasn't yet died. I don't want this query to come across that way, but I do have concerns after something that I have been told. I'm hoping for some advice to prevent any unpleasantness in the future.


I'm divorced and one of my children has disabilities, including learning disabilities. He cannot manage money, and for DWP purposes I am his appointee. My adult daughter has been told by her grandma that money will be left to all grandchildren in her Will. She is leaving my son's money to be distributed by his father (grandma's son, my ex). That's fair enough, but my ex has a gambling problem and a number of debts. My daughter and I are concerned that he will not pass this money to my son.


A couple of questions - should the money, when it becomes available, be in a trust of some sort? I'm happy not to be one of the trustees and understand that my ex wouldn't want me to be. If it is not in a trust, can I ask, or my daughter ask, for the money to be in an account that requires two signatures for withdrawals? Can we ask for bank statements?


I know that it is always possible that the money will not be left to my son after all. I know that it may seem that I am bitter towards my ex. The reality is that I truly just want the best for my son, and from previous experience, my ex does not always act in our children's best interests when it comes to financial matters. It sounds terrible not to trust him, but I have good reason, which I would rather not detail here.


In an ideal world, there would be a trust set up for my son, with my ex and our daughter as joint trustees. That way, my ex couldn't spend any of the money without my daughter knowing, and my son would be the one to benefit. I would be able to request money towards extras for my son, such as payment for a holiday, and it would be discussed between my ex and my daughter. I could not then be accused of using the money for myself (which my ex has done before, regarding child maintenance - and it was untrue).


My son does not currently have his own bank account as he has no understanding whatsoever of money. His benefits are paid into my account and the DWP are aware of this.


Both children are from my marriage to my ex.


Apologies for such a horrible topic for a thread. I'd just like to be prepared. My only concern is my son.

gettingtheresometime

I understand your concerns and no I don't think you're being horrible I think you're just looking into the future and trying to eliminate any issues that may arise.

Does your ex-MIL know about your ex's gambling problem?

If she does then it will be easier to raise the issue of putting your son's inheritance into a trust. What sort of relationship do you have with her - is this something that you could raise with her or perhaps would it be better coming from your daughter - in a 'I've been thinking about what you said Nan about brother's share of the inheritance'.

SandraScarlett

I think your post OP, comes across as being from a caring Mother, who wants the very best for her son, and is being proactive regarding possible problems in the future.


You're to be applauded - and an excellent reply from gettingtheresometime.


xx

kingfisherblue

Thanks for your reply. Yes, she knows he gambles but refuses to see any problem. He says he only bets a few pence on each race, and even though she has been told it is much more, she won't see it. Unfortunately she is in poor health and won't hear a wrong word about him, even from our daughter. Since her health has deteriorated, she has become very unapproachable and has instigated a number of family arguments. I am on speaking terms with her, but am no longer close to her because of this.


In addition, she can see her son as doing no wrong, even though she knows he has been arrested for theft before now. He was given a caution, but she sees it as a mistake on the part of the police. not that her son was guilty.

kingfisherblue

Sandra, thank you for that. I was concerned that it would sound as though I want control over the money and that I am grasping. I'm not, I just don't want my son's money (if he is left any) isn't wasted. I want him to benefit from any inheritance left to him.


Does anyone know whether his dad should put the money in trust and have a second trustee, or if I can see statements regularly?

G6JNS

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Sandra, thank you for that. I was concerned that it would sound as though I want control over the money and that I am grasping. I'm not, I just don't want my son's money (if he is left any) isn't wasted. I want him to benefit from any inheritance left to him.


Does anyone know whether his dad should put the money in trust and have a second trustee, or if I can see statements regularly?

Well done for thinking ahead and the caring approach it shows. There have to be two trustees. I see no reason why the trust deed should not require the trustees to give you copies of the accounts on a regular basis but it would not otherwise be available.

kingfisherblue

Thanks for your reply G6JNS. Does his dad have to put the money into trust, though? Or can he put it into his own account? My son doesn't currently have an account except a child's savings account. I did enquire about an account for him at Santander, but was told that I would be best keeping the account he already has. Otherwise, I could open a joint account with my son, so that his money is paid into it and I would have a card to withdraw it. I am on benefits, though, so didn't really want to open a joint account. It just seemed easier to continue to receive my son's benefits (which are spent on his needs) into my own account and be his appointee. The DWP visited me before he turned 16 to check that he is incapable of understanding money and to check that I understood the legal responsibility.


Obviously I'm not going to ask that any future inheritance is put into my account. I would prefer a trust with two trustees to sign. I just don't know if I will be able to insist on this.


FWIW, I have been my son's primary carer since his birth, and have been a single parent for over ten years. My ex couldn't tell you the names of all his disabilities, never mind the medications and dosages. He does see the kids regularly, but resents giving me money towards their upbringing. I'm concerned that he will spend some or all of the money due to my son, if indeed grandma has included my children in her Will.

G6JNS

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Thanks for your reply G6JNS. Does his dad have to put the money into trust, though? Or can he put it into his own account? My son doesn't currently have an account except a child's savings account. I did enquire about an account for him at Santander, but was told that I would be best keeping the account he already has. Otherwise, I could open a joint account with my son, so that his money is paid into it and I would have a card to withdraw it. I am on benefits, though, so didn't really want to open a joint account. It just seemed easier to continue to receive my son's benefits (which are spent on his needs) into my own account and be his appointee. The DWP visited me before he turned 16 to check that he is incapable of understanding money and to check that I understood the legal responsibility.


Obviously I'm not going to ask that any future inheritance is put into my account. I would prefer a trust with two trustees to sign. I just don't know if I will be able to insist on this.


FWIW, I have been my son's primary carer since his birth, and have been a single parent for over ten years. My ex couldn't tell you the names of all his disabilities, never mind the medications and dosages. He does see the kids regularly, but resents giving me money towards their upbringing. I'm concerned that he will spend some or all of the money due to my son, if indeed grandma has included my children in her Will.

Trustees usually have to keep trust money quite separate from their own. Also there have to be two trustees. I am not familiar with the DWP arrangements. I think your first port of call would be the CAB or one of the charities that deal with your son's disabilities.

gettingtheresometime

It may be worth having a free half an hour session with a solicitor to find out what you can and can't do to ensure your son's inheritance is safeguarded so when the time comes you can put things in to action with the minimum of delay

Savvy_Sue

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

It may be worth having a free half an hour session with a solicitor to find out what you can and can't do to ensure your son's inheritance is safeguarded so when the time comes you can put things in to action with the minimum of delay

or, if you can't find anyone offering a free half-hour, talk to any charities with knowledge of trusts for people unable to handle their own affairs, eg mencap

The ideal would be if grandma would leave the money in a trust, but if she won't do this then you need to be forearmed with the right information for your son.

g6jns_2

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

or, if you can't find anyone offering a free half-hour, talk to any charities with knowledge of trusts for people unable to handle their own affairs, eg mencap

The ideal would be if grandma would leave the money in a trust, but if she won't do this then you need to be forearmed with the right information for your son.

If the beneficiary is under 18 then this automatically create a trust. If there are two executors then they automatically become trustees. If not two trustees have to be appointed.