Work Advice Needed

Grace8

Hi everyone,

I'm 29 and have never really had a real job, well I have done some bits and pieces in the past but never a 9 to 5 job. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, this means my moods are very intense and swing rapidly. I can wake up fine but within a couple of hours my whole mood can drop to an extreme low or can swing up into a more hyper state. My focus and motivation vary. It's an environmental illness to a large degree because the mood swings tend to happen as a result of something triggering them. My relationships with other people are massively affected and I suffer from social anxiety.

I'm on ESA, in the Support Group. The thing is though I HATE it! I really, really want to work and be self-sufficient. I feel like I'm never going to amount to anything and having achieved basically nothing by the age 29 years old my fears are further validated. My first job was working as a cleaner after college. I hung on by the skin of my teeth for three years, it was only two hours per day. After that, I was a volunteer in a school which I had mixed feelings over. I enjoyed being with the children and was able to communicate with them effectively. However, I was quiet and awkward with the teachers and assistants, sometimes I would overhear them making fun of me. One teacher invited every single member of staff and all the volunteers to her apartment on the south coast; I didn't get an invite, needless to say. When a vacancy opened up, it was hidden from me. The whole thing felt humiliating. I ended up having a nervous breakdown, I was working there for free four days a week full-time. That was back in 2007 since then I haven't done much as I have no confidence. The disability advisor at the job centre suggested I should claim Income Support as she didn't think I was capable of working. Recently I had an admin support volunteer job at a local charity, I liked it there but I was still shy and awkward. After Christmas, I when back but they started making excuses and telling me not to come in that week, this went on for over a month. In the end, I left because I felt they didn't want me and I believe it's because I was so slow and awkward. I also had to take Propranolol to help me shake off the nerves whilst I was there.

Lately, I've been looking at jobs I could possibly do from home. The main issue is being with people, so it makes sense to work from home and have minimal contact with others. So I'm not totally isolated I could do some volunteer work for a few hours alongside it. I wondered what type of jobs can be realistically done from home and provide enough of a wage to live on? I have no one else to support me, no friends or family so I'm particularly worried about things not working out. I've been looking on Google but most things either look like a scam or are more aimed at someone wanting to earn a bit of extra money on top of their job. I'm not sure where to start.

Academically I'm capable of anything, in fact I'd love to do an OU degree some day.

judexx

Sorry - can't help with any self-employment suggestions but have you thought of contacting MIND ? In some areas they have advisers to help people get back to work and they might have some ideas/general help.

KxMx

I've found genuine paid work from home jobs very rare. Unless you have specialised skills (one poster as a friend who does medical notes,admin etc from home freelance, but they were doing that in their previous workplace) or work for a large company, the chances are slim IMO.

Employers have been very, very slow to adopt work from home friendly practices and its a sad thing in 2015 with all the technology available. They don't seem to realise how beneficial it would be for them!

Do keep looking at volunteer work, just because some didn't work out before doesn't mean the right fit for you isn't out there.

baxie

Are there any mental health charities or schemes in your area? I attended a scheme in my area for a while, it offered courses, but the main part of it was being in a place where the other people know exactly how I was feeling because we all had mental health problems, and getting used to being around people.