Inappropriate reading book (in my opinion)

mothernerd

Speaking from a child's perspective (from the grand old age of 57). I was a prolific reader, at school and outside. I joined the library at the age of 7 (had a reading age of 11 at age six) but on a child ticket I was only allowed to take out two books at a time. I could read a book a day (we got sent to bed very early - I still remember the shame of making a graph of our survey of bedtimes in infant school) and because my school had heavy homework commitments I could not go to the library every day.

In addition I very quickly ran out of books to read even reading everything I came across (some old Eagle annuals we were given and a set of encyclopedias, comics and paperbacks from my older cousins). At nine I solved the problem by starting to read some of my father's library books. Some were age inappropriate and some of the subjects bothered me.

I remember the second book I read was called the Headteacher and concerned a Head and a teacher who had an affair and the resulting pregnancy is aborted (it was the abortion that bothered me). However the first book I read bothered me even more. It was about a little girl who is invited to a birthday party. The other invitee are all much richer and she realises her hand me down dress is not 'right'. It describes her standing outside the window watching the other children (having been sent to the party on her own), not daring to go in and then the ultimate embarrassment of wetting herself. She then has to go home,clean herself up and lie to her parents about the party. (so not fitting in, possibly being bullied, being embarrassed and lying to your parents to protect them).

At the age of 11 I was finally allowed to join the adult library (joyous happy day) and from then on read ten books a week (think we were allowed more but ten was a good number for carrying home and for ease of knowing how many to round up to take back). I continued to read widely. The selection was much more eclectic in those days whereas now books that are not regularly borrowed are culled and sold to buy new stock. I read Dorothy L Sayers and other Gollancz (yellow and purple covers) detective stories, Somerset Maugham and even a (think it was) 7 volume story called 'Camilla', so old that it had the long 'f's substituting for s.

To the parent who mentioned 'The boy in the Striped Pyjamas' and children discussing lice, I remember reading the classic 'All Quiet on the Western Front' at a similar age and the soldiers using lit cigarettes to burn the lice out of the seams of their clothing and also seeing 'All Our Yesterdays' black and white footage of the gas chambers and liberation of the death camps.

Books make you think, they are 'real'. I am a fairly tolerant person, accepting of others' right to live as they please but willing to speak out against things I believe are wrong. I don't think I am a pervert. I certainly don't do things in public that would scare the horses. So despite being 'disturbed' by some of my early reading I have assimilated it and it has contributed to the person I am. Until I turned 40 I could recall the plot and major characters of every book I ever read in case anyone thinks I was overly traumatised by the two I described.

To the OP I would say that your daughter's embarrassment about the sex (Brave New World and Logan's Run both have stranger views of sex/ child rearing) in the book might be from talking about it with you as other contributors indicate that this is not the main subject of the book and that the rape comment was taken out of context. A love of reading is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. I would urge you and your child to keep reading and discussing books. I am far more concerned about children raised in an anodyne D i s n e y universe.

themarsbargirl

Personally I read it aged 10, a lot of it depends on the maturity of the child. The problem with books is that everyone is always going to have a different opinion about what age group they are appropriate for because everyone's child is an individual.

RebeccaN

If you feel that this book is appropriate for your ten year old child, I don't have a problem with that. I don't feel that it is appropriate for my child who would (and did) find the adult themes distressing. Children at school have no choice over set books however distressing they might find them and I feel that this should mean that guided reading books should not be extreme. When I studied English Literature at University I had almost complete control over what I read and no one would ever have made me read a book that I found distressing, how much more should a ten year old not be made to read something distressing. I am not bringing up my children in a bubble, I gave my son 'When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit' to read which is a biography of a child's experience of being a Jewish refugee.
Secondary school is a bit different but I would fight for my children not being unnecessarily distressed, which I think it 'inappropriate'.

gettingtheresometime

RebeccaN wrote: »

I have had a similar problem with my son being given 'The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas' as a 'Guided reading' (where they read it is a supervised group) book. This is not even a child's book and the protagonist dies in a gas chamber at the end. My son was only 10 at the beginning of the year but as he was in the top set he was given a more 'challenging' book.
Myself and another parent complained. This resulted in our children being withdrawn from the lesson and left to their own devices. Instead of speaking to me as I requested, the head tried to escalate my concerns to a formal complaint that she needed several weeks to prepare for so I gave up and said that as long as my son did not have to read inappropriate books I did not mind. The school is planning to do the book again next year.
So I absolutely back you in raising this issue and when I once walked past the group at school discussing lice and how thin you got in a Concentration Camp I knew I had done the right thing. Unfortunately schools do not seem to feel any accountability to parents anymore. There are so many wonderful children's books out there, why study the ones that are not age-appropriate?

Sorry but I can't see why you thought this was inappropriate?

What is wrong in knowing what 'human beings' did to other human beings?

In any case I found the story to be a subtle one not wham bam here's a story about a concentration camp

*max*

Having now read the book (and being halfway through the second one...), I'd have to say I don't think it's suitable for most 10 year olds. Not because they might be distressed by some of the scenes (btw, there is no rape!) but because they wouldn't have the maturity to understand the wider issues in the book, and so it would be "wasted" on them IMO. I think from 12/13 onwards would be more suitable, when they are able to understand the several issues brought up instead of focusing solely on a few scenes that might be more "adult", like a younger child might.

RebeccaN

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Sorry but I can't see why you thought this was inappropriate?

What is wrong in knowing what 'human beings' did to other human beings?

In any case I found the story to be a subtle one not wham bam here's a story about a concentration camp

I guess we'll have to disagree then.

meritaten

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Sorry but I can't see why you thought this was inappropriate?

What is wrong in knowing what 'human beings' did to other human beings?

In any case I found the story to be a subtle one not wham bam here's a story about a concentration camp

If you honestly don't understand why parents think their kids grow up fast enough these days, without having adult 'issues' forced into their minds at primary school age...............I despair. No wonder some 11-12 years behave like mini adults - and not in a nice way.


I am all for broadening childrens minds and horizons - but, does it HAVE to be done with all this drama and angst? The world can be a beautiful wonderful place - what's wrong with exploring that side of it while young? the magic then stays with you while you learn about the darker seamier side to life.

hairypitz

I grew up in the 70s, my mum was the product of repressed Catholicism and didn't get told anything about sex, periods, relationships. She was adamant she wouldn't leave me feeling guilty or shameful and would answer my questions openly and honestly in an age appropriate way whenever they arose.
I was a really inquisitive kid and having parents who talked to me openly meant that as well as knowing everything I needed to know I didn't think there was anything strange about asking these questions. I never thought there was anything disgusting and embarrassing about sex, relationships, anatomy etc.
I was lucky that as well as being a bit nerdy, good at science and not that great at PE I was the go-to girl in my friend group who could sort out the rumour and hearsay from solid fact. Which is handy when you're 11 and kids are asking you if you know what so and so is. I always did.
My mum bought 'Are you there God, it's me Margaret' and later 'Forever' by Judy Blume. Bit 70s but They were thought and conversation provoking. They were also passed around my whole class in year 7 and even the most reluctant male reader was desperate to borrow these books.
In short, let your kid read the book, be open about the conversations it may raise. Your kid is going to have sex and relationships one day (soonish) and it won't make them have sex just knowing about it. It just makes them informed.

Jagraf

RebeccaN wrote: »

I guess we'll have to disagree then.

Which is why the school takes your point on board, but doesn't need to stop the whole school reading it.

Jagraf

meritaten wrote: »

If you honestly don't understand why parents think their kids grow up fast enough these days, without having adult 'issues' forced into their minds at primary school age...............I despair. No wonder some 11-12 years behave like mini adults - and not in a nice way.


I am all for broadening childrens minds and horizons - but, does it HAVE to be done with all this drama and angst? The world can be a beautiful wonderful place - what's wrong with exploring that side of it while young? the magic then stays with you while you learn about the darker seamier side to life.

But you could say that about an immature 15 year old too.