Money to spend on myself

Essexbabe

Bit of a random question here. I was just wondering how much everyone has to spend on themselves each month?

I am self-employed, so my income fluctuates month on month, so we decided the fairest way to do things would be for my hubby to pay all the bills and monthly living costs (he earns around twice what I tend to earn), for me to put all my earnings into his account for extras like holidays, decorating etc, and for him to give me an allowance monthly. It seems logical and fair, but I do wonder if I am getting as much as what my friends have to spend, as I never seem to be able to do as much as them. Things have been pretty good with my work recently, and we have built up a nice pot of savings, but then we do have decorating plans for the next few months too.

My allowance has to pay for any weekends away I have with my friends, nights out, my mobile bill, toiletries, hair appts, sports activities, make up etc. Clothes and stuff for the kids comes out of child benefit or hubby's account.

Money just isn't the sort of thing my group of friends would discuss, so I hope you don't mind me asking you guys instead.

I get £400 per month to spend.

Al1x

£400 seems a lot for someone like me. We aren't high earners and couldn't afford an extravagant lifestyle, we would be lucky to have £100 left between us after paying mortgage and bills. No weekends away or nights out for us sadly!

yorpington

£400! DH and I get £100 each. We pay for joint leisure (weekends to see family/friends) out of our joint income and then the £100 is personal spends.

£400 just for personal spends seems extremely generous to me. Are you sure your friends who seem to have bundles of cash aren't using credit cards etc?

Perhaps it's your arrangement rather than the amount which is the problem. I think I'd smart too at handing all my wages over to DH and being given an allowance back...

Essexbabe

I know £400 sounds like a lot, and I did wonder whether to put it on a site like this, but a lot of my friends are fortunate in not having to work or having very well paid jobs, so I often feel like the pauper (not that they ever make me feel like that, they don't know how much I get as I would never want to say 'I can't afford that').

You could be right yorpington that it's the set-up that I'm not happy with, but I can't think of any other way round it, as my work can fluctuate so much e.g. I had the busiest December ever and earned over £2k, but in January I earned less than £200.

HappyMJ

Essexbabe wrote: »

I know £400 sounds like a lot, and I did wonder whether to put it on a site like this, but a lot of my friends are fortunate in not having to work or having very well paid jobs, so I often feel like the pauper (not that they ever make me feel like that, they don't know how much I get as I would never want to say 'I can't afford that').

You could be right yorpington that it's the set-up that I'm not happy with, but I can't think of any other way round it, as my work can fluctuate so much e.g. I had the busiest December ever and earned over £2k, but in January I earned less than £200.

£400 may be a lot but then it also on the other hand it might not be enough for you. What was your and your OH's last year of income, deduct the household expenses then split the rest evenly. I personally spend around £600 per month on what I would consider items which I could do without...such as what you have mentioned although I'd find a computer and a mobile phone would be pretty hard to live without and I'd go mad if I didn't get out with my friends at least once per week. The answer for you really depends on your personal circumstances. If you don't like it then keep your income for yourself and contribute 50% towards the household expenses. You might find you don't have as much as you do now.

Serendipitious

I live alone so technically all my money is spent on myself, but then all the bills and living costs are also 100% my responsibility.

Weekends with friends, holidays, sports activities and nights out are not part of my current budget. And my mobile is under £10/month. Toiletries get picked up along with the groceries, and hairdressing is done by a talented family member. So £400 would seem plenty to me.

I don't think I could cope with having an 'allowance' from joint funds. I think I would have to aim to pay a reasonable percentage towards joint living costs. If income were erratic, I would budget it so that a good month's surplus was saved to make up for any future shortfalls.

colsten

Essexbabe wrote: »

I do wonder if I am getting as much as what my friends have to spend

Only way to find out is to ask them. But even if you knew how much they have spare, it wouldn't make any difference to how much you can afford, would it?

Same applies to knowing what strangers on the internet have spare. I could tell you I have between £1K and £2K a month to splash out with, or I could tell you it's £150, or any other number. You wouldn't know whether I am telling you the truth, and more importantly, knowing what other people spend makes no difference to what you can afford.

missbiggles1

What do you earn on average per month?

Al1x

Does he also take a £400 allowance as well or just spend what he wants?

white123456

If I were you I'd manage my own money.

You say one month you earned 2k then another less than 200 just save some from a good month to support a bad one.

On the other hand 400 sounds accommodating so if you're happy with your partner controlling your money then keep things how they are.

After all your question isn't regarding the situation but the money itself and it sounds plenty to me.

You may just have expensive hobbies

Ebe_Scrooge

Get your priorities straight, that's my first bit of advice. £400 a month to spend on yourself sounds an awful lot.

I'm in a relatively comfortable position now ( for really the first time in my life !! ) - by which I mean, me and the wife both earn, we pay all bills with no worries, can afford to take the kids for days out locally without really worrying about it, have some savings put aside, etc. But there's no way I would spend £400 on myself every month. Neighbours go on ski-ing holidays and drive brand new Audi's - no way on earth could we afford to do that. Not that I'd want to. But fair play to them, I'm lucky enough to live in a place where "keeping up with the Jones's" doesn't matter. End of the day, it's nice to not have to worry about bills, and have money to spare for modest luxuries. Believe me, I've been on the brink on bankruptcy in the past.

The point I'm trying to make - if you're happy with what you've got, then forget what anyone else thinks. £400 to spend on yourself per month is a lot in anyone's book, if your peers have more - well, bully for them. What does it really matter ?