Is a Pension a household bill???

Snakey

I'm not seeing any hostility. Plain speaking, perhaps, but that's why you ask strangers on the internet for advice - to get a range of honest opinions - if you just want platitudes and sympathy you go to your friends.

Are you suggesting that it's natural/understandable for people to feel hostile towards those who earn more than they do, just because?

atush

I have a differnt take than most here, but iw ill not appologize for it.

Your partner has a pension, but it is NOT a household bill. It is savings. While I dont think they should be penalized as such for having one, if you earn less and pay half the bills, this is preventing you from having a pension too. If he paid 55-60% of bills, would you put that money into a pension or even a S&S isa? Would he think that was fair?

If he/she doesn't, I dont know about you but I am not feeling the love.

Does your employer have a pension you have not joined?

I see the mild rage expressed as a very bad sign. Anyone who would want to see you pay more than your fair share (based on income after tax not pension) is not someone you should either be having children with or sharing your life with. AS if you split, they would walk away with that pension.

The higher paid should pay a higher share.

atush

Snakey wrote: »

I'm not seeing any hostility. Plain speaking, perhaps, but that's why you ask strangers on the internet for advice - to get a range of honest opinions - if you just want platitudes and sympathy you go to your friends.

Are you suggesting that it's natural/understandable for people to feel hostile towards those who earn more than they do, just because?

I think people are hostile to those who earn more, I see it here every day. and if they live in the southesat, 48K isn 't much.

Lois_and_CK

I'm with Atush on this. CK and I earn different amounts of money, but it all goes into a joint account, from which the bills are paid and transfers to various savings pots made. At various stages in our lives together, I've earned more or CK has earned more, one of us has had access to work pension and the other hasn't. We're in this relationship with the assumption that we'll be together for life... Otherwise what's the point in carrying on with the relationship? So with finances, we have the same holidays, the same bills, the same savings, and roughly the same going into pensions, with the end plan being that we'll end up with more or less equal amounts of savings and pension pots. So if one of us had a work pension and the other didn't, the partner without a work pension got payments into personal pension bumped up. I wouldn't sacrifice money going into a pension - I'd find the money for the other person to have retirement savings though.

I just can't see how one partner having more than the other works. I just wouldn't like having more money than CK, and nor he with me. On the other hand, if in the backs of our minds we were thinking about 'what if... divorce' then that would be different.

wotsthat

Pension contributions aren't a household bill. No-one flat shares and expects to pay their flatmates pension too.

The second surprise is that this relationship is long term enough to involve children but hasn't evolved to a place where the higher earner pays most of the household bills rather than splitting 50:50. I thought this was normal.

Maybe a step forward is to go halves on the pension contributions but split them into their own accounts.

Triumph13

I was carefully not commenting on the whole issue of entering into the responsibilities of having a child together (if that is indeed the case here) if you don't already have a relationship such that you see the couple as a single financial entity. Most perplexing.
The whole thing certainly makes a change for this board where we are more usually talking about shuffling funds from spouse to spouse to get the best possible overall pension position!

JimmyTheWig

Why should you pay into their pension if you are not in it for the long haul?
Fair question.

Why should they subsidise your household bills if you are not in it for the long haul?
An equally fair question.

I don't think you can have it both ways, OP.

EdGasket

Doesn't sound like a very comitted relationship does it? As far as I'm concerned everything I have, my wife can have and I'm sure she feels the same.

kangoora

The numbers don't seem to make sense. The lower earner says that their partner earns a 1/3 more than them and that is about 6/7k difference.

That makes £18k and £24/25k or thereabouts.

9% contributions which is supposed to be £250/£300 a month I work out at £33.3k or £40k salary for the higher earner.

PeacefulWaters

EdGasket wrote: »

Doesn't sound like a very comitted relationship does it? As far as I'm concerned everything I have, my wife can have and I'm sure she feels the same.

What's hers is hers.

What's mine is ours.

So I'm told.