OK I'm worried now...

Newlyboughthouse

Wow really varied opinions on the matter - seems to be a highly contentious issue. I will get agreement done just in case. I don't think I'll ever change my opinion that my house is my investment, not his, and that it would be wrong for him to not contribute. I think he'd feel really uncomfortable living for free or paying a nominal amount knowing I was paying a hell of a lot more for the roof over our head - I know I would!

Amy56

What happens if you later decide to marry/have children? Would you then put the property into both names?

I assume the relationship is in early stages to be thinking like this? Presumably if you saw this as a lifelong commitment, then you would want to be more equal?

I only ask, as I know how many relationships break down due to money - I couldn't be in a long term relationship with someone I didn't love or trust enough to share my life/house with - so for me, everything would then, cease being mine, and become ours - otherwise I think it would be doomed to fail. But maybe I am just old fashioned that way;)

ACG

So if he had saved up and the house was his house and his investment would you be happy paying 50% of everything knowing you get nothing back at the end of it if it all goes wrong?

If hes paying half towards bills only I genuinely see no issues with that. Its the contributing to the mortgage I think is where it falls down.

No idea on either of your ages but lets say your 25, can you imagine if you decide to split up in 20 years. You have your house all but paid off (if not completely paid off) and he has nothing. He might have had more free cash but presumably that would be spent on things like TVs holidays birthdays christmas etc for the both of you?

It might be worth him using some of that money to purchase a property to let out maybe to give him some securty down the line?

Maybe im just a bit soft? If your having that conversation it might be worth looking at ways to ensure he has security too? It could be in 15 years time he thinks its not working but because he has nothing to fall back on he just makes do (I couldnt think of a better way to phrase that).

Newlyboughthouse

ACG wrote: »

So if he had saved up and the house was his house and his investment would you be happy paying 50% of everything knowing you get nothing back at the end of it if it all goes wrong?

If hes paying half towards bills only I genuinely see no issues with that. Its the contributing to the mortgage I think is where it falls down.

No idea on either of your ages but lets say your 25, can you imagine if you decide to split up in 20 years. You have your house all but paid off (if not completely paid off) and he has nothing. He might have had more free cash but presumably that would be spent on things like TVs holidays birthdays christmas etc for the both of you?

It might be worth him using some of that money to purchase a property to let out maybe to give him some securty down the line?

Maybe im just a bit soft? If your having that conversation it might be worth looking at ways to ensure he has security too? It could be in 15 years time he thinks its not working but because he has nothing to fall back on he just makes do (I couldnt think of a better way to phrase that).

Perhaps my feelings will change/soften in response to his reactions when we have the conversation. He might indeed divulge to me that he doesn't feel secure - this has never been conveyed by him before though.

I think my point of view is the way it is partly because I know myself and know I would never ever 'kick him out' for no good reason. He has even said if we do split up he would just use his savings to rent somewhere else. I think he sees it the way I see it - my house and he is paying less than market value for this particular roof over his head. But we'll see following the convo.

Newlyboughthouse

Amy56 wrote: »

What happens if you later decide to marry/have children? Would you then put the property into both names?

I assume the relationship is in early stages to be thinking like this? Presumably if you saw this as a lifelong commitment, then you would want to be more equal?

I only ask, as I know how many relationships break down due to money - I couldn't be in a long term relationship with someone I didn't love or trust enough to share my life/house with - so for me, everything would then, cease being mine, and become ours - otherwise I think it would be doomed to fail. But maybe I am just old fashioned that way;)

I do love and trust him. Nope not in early stages - been together fair few years. I think my approach to relationships has been significantly hardened however by my parents' relationship. Horrid.

I want this house to eventually be my earner as I want out of the rat race ASAP lol. Future plan is for me and him to buy another house together, while I keep this one on earning me an income. It's my security blanket that quite frankly I don't want to share!

!!!! does happen and most relationships do unfortunately end. I don't foresee ours ending but I am a huge realist and with my annoying, black and white brain, I know it probably will eventually. I know that is hard for many people to comprehend but that's just the way my brain works.

BaileyMoselle

I am about to buy my first house. I am so glad I am single - so much simpler that way.

Newlyboughthouse

BaileyMoselle wrote: »

I am about to buy my first house. I am so glad I am single - so much simpler that way.

Until you find a partner (if you've the desire to) and move them in with you tehe - just out of interest what would you do if you did move a partner in?

Good luck with buying your first home by the way - hope it's as stress free as possible!!

pelirocco

warehouse wrote: »

Sounds like a relationship built on trust.







































Not.

Doesn't sound like a relationshiship at all

enthusiasticsaver

My daughter had the same issue. I gifted her £20k in 2013 to buy a property and she bought a one bedroom flat in her own name and a sole mortgage. Three months later her boyfriend moved in and they split the mortgage and bills down the middle. He was fine with that as it was less than he was paying before to his parents for rent and he earned a lot more than her so he was able to save. Obviously it made life easier for her too and our gift for her deposit (which she added to with her own savings) was given without conditions and no written agreement was taken out. We left it to her as to whether she broached the issue with her then boyfriend.


In her case it all turned out fine, the boyfriend became her husband last year, the savings they were able to acquire while they were living together in the flat comparatively cheaply mean they could pay for their wedding and honeymoon and put a good deposit down on a 4 bed house with his bigger salary, they are now expecting their first child and all their finances are now in joint accounts.


I suppose what I would say is that yes you could take out a written agreement for every eventuality but at some point you need to take a leap of faith. If they split up now she could say the original deposit for her first property was hers but his more substantial salary has meant that they could upgrade more quickly so in the grand scheme of things it is difficult to pinpoint what each has put into their current house. There has to be some trust and sense of fairness in relationships, it is not all about money.

BaileyMoselle

Newlyboughthouse wrote: »

Until you find a partner (if you've the desire to) and move them in with you tehe - just out of interest what would you do if you did move a partner in?

Good luck with buying your first home by the way - hope it's as stress free as possible!!

Thanks for that. I get the valuation assessment on Monday and then I will know for sure if the deal will succeed.


I would be wary of allowing a partner to move in with me. I am so used to being single it will be difficult to adapt at first. Like yourself I would expect financial contributions to the bills. Am really not sure about the mortgage. I think a good idea would be for her to pay rent into a savings account and when we decide we are permanent have this paid into the mortgage and it becomes a joint possession. Or perhaps it gets used as a deposit for a new place.
Or is that just a daft idea? I don't know.