Anyone had to bankrupt due to partner becoming full time mum

alastairq

justworried wrote: »

My wife and I are on debt management with Stepchange,we are both in out late sixties and the debt is too high for us to clear.We don't own any properties of any thing of value.I am at this moment waiting to have a chest xray done as im coughing up blood and I fear for the worst.I love my wife soo much and we have been together for over fourty years.I don't want to leave her with this large debt.We sold our last home and put any profit down with my daughter and son in law profit on their sail into a deposit on a larger home for us all to share.My son in law and daughters name are on the home ownership and have paid the mortgage since moving in five years ago.The debt agency has told me to look at going bankrupt,what would this mean on the property?would they be forced to sell it,if not would that be the best answer for clearing my debt for my wife?

Hi, you would be better off starting your own thread, for an answer.

doomandgloom

Just a thought...

But if you really are intent on going BR then I wouldn't be paying your creditors anything.

If you have 160 spare a month until August then(assuming that includes this month) you will have 800 that could be going towards BR fees, which were 705 last time I knew. That only leaves you with 95 for baby stuff. And believe me, it is hard in BR to cater for a baby.

If you really won't have any surplus at all in August for debts then where would you be finding the fees from?

Therefore stopping paying your creditors to save for the fees is going to cause any increase in mail demanding payments and default notices etc etc. Maybe another good reason to let your partner know sooner rather than later?

I'm not as experienced in advice giving but I'm sure other members of this forum will be able to explain further if you need any help with the fees side of things

boxrick

Surely I am not the only one here to think that paying ANYTHING into a pension is crazy when you have 30k of debt over your head....

Cancel that pension, tell your partner start a proper savings plan and get rid of the debt.

Cut back, work overtime, sell un-needed items. Considering bankruptcy and especially taking that decision alone is crazy. This is also taking into account you are not responsible enough to handle your finances in the first place. No matter what your partner is going through tell her NOW and come with a plan to deal with it together.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

The obvious problem here is that if she'd known that she was shackling herself to someone who is going bankrup then she might have run for the hills when she had the chance. Tell her so she can decide what's best for herself and then you won't be dragging her and your baby down with you. Also i'm pretty sure there isn't an apostrophe in the word "fiance", I'll have to check a dictionary.

alastairq

I note from various posts, how shackled we all appear to be to the idea that being unable to deal with the levels of debt we have arrived at, places us down at the very bottom of the dungheap of life?

We can mess around whilst married, we can abuse kids and old people, yet woe betide us if we seek to deal with an intolerable debt situation!

Debts are a continual fact of life. As is dealing with them.

And Bankruptcy is one of the most effective ways of doing so.

It is considered to be an acceptable tool within the business world, yet is apparently so reviled on a personal level.

On this forum, we are not concerned with the issues around being on the receiving end of a bankruptcy. [The creditors]

What we are concerned about, is how we, as individuals, cope with the problems [if they can truly be seen as problems?] that bankruptcy can present us.


The OP's problem centres around a shortfall of honesty and trust within the relationship.

If that relationship is as strong as the OP would hope it is, involving one's partner is vitally important.

Bankruptcy may well be the best solution to create a clean sheet to start a new life from.

Bankruptcy is certainly not a millstone , a hindrance in life, to be avoided like the plague.

Being in any sort of debt is exactly that!

And 99.9% of people in this country are in such a position.

Acknowledging an impossible debt situation, and actively seeking an equitable debt solution, is far from being down at the lowest level of life.

What it can require is the shedding of useless moralistic attitudes towards debt, and the dealing with it.

silvercar

You need the honest discussion.

She may decide to go back to work. Knowing all the facts will help her make her decision. Investigate child tax credits, working tax credits, child benefit, child care vouchers etc and then decide what is best.