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lookinforabargain

bubbs wrote: »

Have you been together since you were both young ? and do you think as dd is at an age where she can be left with other people now and he thinks you shouldnt?

We've been together nearly 10 years, he is a fair bit older than me though. DD doesn't get left with anyone else as we don't have anyone. I've just been going out with the girls from work and he's been at home with DD But it's the same for me when he goes out. Which he's done on a far more regular basis than me. Up until the last few months I could count on one hand the amount of times I'd been out in the last 4 years.

He's walked out in a huff tonight. I have no idea where he's gone and his phone is switched off.

Dippydoo

bubbs wrote: »

no:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: still have them if i was to moke them my stomach would be coughed up i reckon:eek:

You would and then you would wish u hadn't lit up

davemorton

lookinforabargain wrote: »

I did actually suggest that during the week when we were talking via text briefly but he never acknowledged that part. I have said to him I want to fix it, but he seems to think it's all down to me to decide what I want and that what he wants doesn't matter. Everything always comes down to me, I have to decide everything. Must admit I am tempted to go down the letter route as I'm at the point now where I'm at a loss what to do next.

Its a man thing, he wont want to decide in case he shows what he wants, but does not get it, if that makes sense.

davemorton

lookinforabargain wrote: »

We've been together nearly 10 years, he is a fair bit older than me though. DD doesn't get left with anyone else as we don't have anyone. I've just been going out with the girls from work and he's been at home with DD But it's the same for me when he goes out. Which he's done on a far more regular basis than me. Up until the last few months I could count on one hand the amount of times I'd been out in the last 4 years.

He's walked out in a huff tonight. I have no idea where he's gone and his phone is switched off.

Not in a huff, he just needs to show you he is upset. (another man thing)

When you sort this all out, the obvious thing would be to have your nights out split into 3, one night he goes out, the other you go out, and the third you spend together.

ilovegreatdanes

lookinforabargain wrote: »

I've been having too much me time recently according to him. That's kind of how this started really. Because I've started to have a bit of a life recently. I think he's just got to used to me being at home 24/7 and now I'm not he's not taking it too well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm innocent in all of this. Yeah I've stayed out too late, drank too much etc but it's one rule for him and another for me. It's just all such a mess

Sounds like hes feeling insecure and alittle jealous.i think men have a hard time talking about stuff wheras women find it easy.is there anyone who you both know that could listen to each side.does oh have a good mate that you could have a quiet word with?I think its easier for men to talk to another man to avoid embarassment.try to keep the dialogue going and avoid the blame game, even if its tempting just so he knows how its hurting.just have to try some reasurance if you can and keep calm if you both can.would you be able to think about some solutions before you try to talk to him?its hard cos you will both be hurting and treading on eggshells.main thing is to try to keep talking and try to find out what you both want as a solution.good luck, hope it works out for you both.x

bubbs

lookinforabargain wrote: »

We've been together nearly 10 years, he is a fair bit older than me though. DD doesn't get left with anyone else as we don't have anyone. I've just been going out with the girls from work and he's been at home with DD But it's the same for me when he goes out. Which he's done on a far more regular basis than me. Up until the last few months I could count on one hand the amount of times I'd been out in the last 4 years.

He's walked out in a huff tonight. I have no idea where he's gone and his phone is switched off.

This hits me, becuase you have started to go out and didnt, he does not like it but its ok for him:cool:
Cant have 1 rule for 1 and another for other, he has got to be fair you cant stop in all the time

davemorton

bubbs wrote: »

This hits me, becuase you have started to go out and didnt, he does not like it but its ok for him:cool:
Cant have 1 rule for 1 and another for other, he has got to be fair you cant stop in all the time

:eek: Quiet you, and get on with the washing up!!

bubbs

ilovegreatdanes wrote: »

Sounds like hes feeling insecure and alittle jealous.i think men have a hard time talking about stuff wheras women find it easy.is there anyone who you both know that could listen to each side.does oh have a good mate that you could have a quiet word with?I think its easier for men to talk to another man to avoid embarassment.try to keep the dialogue going and avoid the blame game, even if its tempting just so he knows how its hurting.just have to try some reasurance if you can and keep calm if you both can.would you be able to think about some solutions before you try to talk to him?its hard cos you will both be hurting and treading on eggshells.main thing is to try to keep talking and try to find out what you both want as a solution.good luck, hope it works out for you both.x

Well said :T

TrulyMadly

lookinforabargain wrote: »

We've been together nearly 10 years, he is a fair bit older than me though. DD doesn't get left with anyone else as we don't have anyone. I've just been going out with the girls from work and he's been at home with DD But it's the same for me when he goes out. Which he's done on a far more regular basis than me. Up until the last few months I could count on one hand the amount of times I'd been out in the last 4 years.

He's walked out in a huff tonight. I have no idea where he's gone and his phone is switched off.

Is he showing you he is hurt or looking for attention? Is he wanting you to be worried about him or is he angry? Poor flab:A

I'm sure he will be fine but he seems to be showing a lot of mixed emotions. Hopefully tomorrow you might get the chance to talk it through xx

lookinforabargain

davemorton wrote: »

Its a man thing, he wont want to decide in case he shows what he wants, but does not get it, if that makes sense.

Yeah it does make sense and I get that. I wouldn't say that was necessarily a man thing either. We all want to protect ourselves and don't want to leave ourselves open to being hurt by putting ourselves out there and then not getting what we wanted.