House Ownership and others

[Deleted User]

Hello. I'm new to the boards so please be kind! I'm wondering if there is anyone who can advise? A summary, I'm 41 yo female married for three years (have been married before) have a four yo daughter with my new husband. I rented with my ex-husband so we never owned any property between us. Met my new husband who has his own house. I moved in with him seven years ago we later had our dd and married. I work part time contribute to a few bills and do all the food shopping. My husband has a good job and takes care of the rest of the bills. Just lately despite all being ok in our marriage I have felt a little insecure. We have separate bank accounts but a joint savings and I also have my own savings. What would happen if in 15...10...20 or so years we split up I worry about being out on the streets! Our daughter may of left home and my savings would be fairly minimal from a part time wage. Where do I stand in matters like this when I don't own the property I live in with my husband? I'm desperately trying to save hard just to give myself that bit of security! Sorry its a bit long winded!,

FBaby

For one you need to make sure you write a will. Don't forget that once married, all assets are those of the marriage, so his house becomes your joint house. When divorcing shortly after marriage, there is a consideration that as a short marriage, assets would return to what it used to belong too, but this is forfeited after a certain number of years depending on the situation (2 years/5 years).

Of course, to feel totally protected, you could decide to go back to work full-time after your daughter is at school as even if you are entitled to half of all assets after a divorce, it wouldn't mean that you could keep the house, or have enough income to buy one in your own right, even if you have the equity for a deposit.

BitterAndTwisted

There isn't a chance in hell that should you separate and divorce at some point in the future that you'd be out on the streets without a penny other than your own savings. If you separated next week it could be considered a "short marriage" where the courts could decide to leave you in the same financial position you were in upon marriage. With a young child in the picture that's even less likely.

All property, savings and pensions become joint-assets upon marriage. "With all my worldly goods I thee endow" isn't just a few inconsequential words quoted to sound nice at the ceremony.

Is there a particular reason why you're feeling a little insecure about this?

Mojisola

drabbleon78 wrote: »

Met my new husband who has his own house. I moved in with him seven years ago we later had our dd and married.

Where do I stand in matters like this when I don't own the property I live in with my husband?

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

If you separated next week it could be considered a "short marriage" where the courts could decide to leave you in the same financial position you were in upon marriage. With a young child in the picture that's even less likely.

After seven years of living together, this wouldn't be considered a short relationship so there's nothing to be concerned about there.

All property, savings and pensions become joint-assets upon marriage.

They do, but because the house is only in the husband's name, there's nothing to stop him remortgaging the house and spending the money.

Having everything in one person's name and all finances dealt with by one person makes the other very vulnerable.

drabbleon - if your husband ended up in hospital tomorrow unable to manage the household affairs, could you step in and keep things running?

[Deleted User]

Thank you for taking the time out to reply. No, there's no particular reason why I feel insecure about this but I guess life experience and a divorce under my belt does that? I am a nurse so intend on doing more hours once our daughter starts school and if such a time god forbid came where I had to run the house if my husband was in hospital i could do that. I have also lived on my own before supporting myself so its not an issue. My main thing is had we not of decided to have a child and god forbid neither of us could live without her we love her with all our hearts. However had we both of not made that decision then I could easily have a big deal of savings but we decided that whilst she was so young I would work less hours. I just would think its unfair that if in ten or so years time my husband and I split then I'd be left out on my ear so to speak. Yes, we have spoken about doing Wills and we are planning on doing that. I hope I haven't created a picture of me being entirely about money I would just like some certainty about financial security after not working so much after having our daughter. Also I forgot to say as of last summer I paid off both of my credit cards and have no debts which helped me feel a little more secure.

Mojisola

drabbleon78 wrote: »

if such a time god forbid came where I had to run the house if my husband was in hospital i could do that.

Would you have access to all the information you would need to run the house such as utility accounts? With paper records, it's straightforward. If everything is password protected on your husband's computer, not so easy.

If one person handles the household accounts (and sometimes it's just easier that way), it's worth the other keeping up-to-date with where everything is and how it's all running.

[Deleted User]

Yes, fair point. To be honest everything is done via direct debit but you have a good point something I think needs to be addressed. I suspect a lot of partners or spouses overlook this if one person is responsible for handling financial matters for the household. Thank you!!

FBaby

Are you contributing towards a pension? Have you always be a nurse? Remember that unless you decide differently, you'll be working for another 25 years, so 4 years out to raise your daughter is not going to be a big dip in your contribution.

[Deleted User]

Yes, I contribute towards a pension scheme and always have done since I went back into nursing ten years ago. I went back to work for 2.5 days a week when my daughter was 20 months and still do this. When she starts school my ward have allowed me to do school hours over 5 weekday days so it should be ok financially, this will allow me to put a bit aside also. Thank you for your reply.

Mojisola

drabbleon78 wrote: »

No, there's no particular reason why I feel insecure about this but I guess life experience and a divorce under my belt does that?

Have you talked to your OH about how you feel? Or thought about having a few sessions with a counsellor?

If there's no reason for it other than some insecurity because of a previous relationship, it would be a shame to spoil this one.

I'd be very upset if my OH started to put together 'escape savings' when I thought our relationship was good.