Always Pass on What You Have Learned

wishus

Well, I've got £20 left from my month's budget... I think I might just about make it even though that's a little tight. There is a weekend away coming up, but that comes out of business budget, so no worries there. Also,we survived the trip away yesterday, and though I spent a bit more than I wanted to, we kept costs down by having passengers who contributed towards fuel, and by taking packed lunches and drinks.

So much to do before the weekend, and lots of people to speak in front of, so I'm very nervous and pre-exhausted, if you know what I mean, as well as actually exhausted. Fitbit tells me I have done better with sleep on average this week, as I managed to get one star for achieving 8 hours. Average is 6.5.

OH is still off work, and helping our friend who had surgery. I am not sure how she will cope when we are away. I've left her lots of apple pie, though!

OH and I are beginning to talk about how we can save him from work. I'd like to save me from work too, but one step at a time...

wishus

We had bad news about the conference weekend last night. The hotel we are staying in has had some staffing issues and can't provide the promised decent catering. Instead they've put on a menu of burgers and cheesy chips - like we're all twelve years old or something. This means we are likely to have to travel to eat, and make compromises on budget due to time constraints. Not good! :mad:

Well, if I'm going to have to eat like a student, I don't want to pay through the nose for it. So I've popped to the shop this morning to grab some basic cup-a-soups and Mozza's own pot noodles.

And to think, we had to pay for the room in advance. There was no other option. Fish in a barrel, are we? I think not.

The organizer has already had a word and 'improvements' have been made. But I think I will still let the hotel know that this is not on. When you have hundreds of attendees expected, I would have thought you'd search the staff out to provide what you promised.

Well, I have my Gourmet card... I think I'll prep a list of places to eat.

wishus

I am back from my weekend in Nottingham. Old friends were hugged, new contacts were made, work was discussed, ideas blossomed. Feeling quite positive about the future, even though things will be tight money-wise. A number of other events have now been planned in for 2016 - just got to make the sufficient spondoolicks to make them worthwhile.

Some hard partying was also done on the evenings, and I was not the only attendee to balk at the bar prices, so a number of us retreated to a private room and drank our own supplies. It's a tactic used by the hardened con-goer whose liver is less well-cared for than their wallet.
:beer:
The food was survived. The catering was dreadful, but breakfasts were okay, so we filled up then. The 47p noodle pots were great for night 1, and for night 2 we found a decent and very reasonably priced chippy a short walk from the centre. On Sunday, we had pre-booked a 3-course meal on the award ceremony ticket, and the food for that was pretty nice, although we were surprised that a "banqueting suite" holding a banquet didn't believe in table service, nor had they provided even a bottle of ropey red. Well, I only wanted water anyway. Good job!

Now we're home, we need to do a lot of organising and planning. OH is still unwell and is definitely not ready to go back to work. I worry that by planning a new job for him, I will demotivate him or make things worse, but we have to try. The alternative is probably continued ill-health and only one of us working in the end.

OH is brimful of ideas, often a harsh taskmaster, but pretty much always discerns the right thing to do, so he will make an ideal manager. I do have a couple of worries and reservations, but you can't do a SWOT without acknowledging your weakness and threats. It would be stupid to assume otherwise. We both need up-skilling in a couple of key areas and he needs to reassure me on the things that I need reassuring on. I know from experience that working with your OH can be fraught with emotional complication, but I am a good donkey and can bear the brunt.;)

Need to pop to the shop on the way home to get more milk... I think I may just about stay in budget this month. I am totally amazed!:T

...and all because the lady caught the bus. :rotfl:

I've been invited to a 40th birthday party soon. That's a small worry as we don't want to look miserly. A good present is needed. I know he likes beer, so thinking maybe a brewery tour voucher for 2? Better than a pack he'll probably have guests nick at the party!

:beer:

Tonight's dinner is going to be super cheap: YS mackerel fillets with homegrown spuds, cabbage and carrots. Will be 69p for two! :T:money:

wishus

I am beginning to feel very down. I am noticing verbal tics again, which mostly happen when I'm zoned out walking to and from the bus stop and I only realise I'm doing it when passers-by stare at me.

If I can be honest with you, my diary pals, I have not been the exemplary business-partner-model-wife-money-saving-inspiration I want to be because I haven't made a fuss, and I'm not going to.

OH was very lucky recently and got a back payment from the energy company. We discussed what to do with it. He pays this bill, but I give him money towards the bills he covers as well as taking on around half from my account, as I earn more, so it's money that has come back to both of us. Did we want to go away for the weekend somewhere nice? I said no; paying off debt was the priority. He had credit card debt to clear, and there is also a loan balance remaining that I wasn't sure how much it was, but now I know is just over £7k. This puts our combined loan debt at around £28K and, you know, we are managing and it's being paid off and even overpaid on occasion.

OH made me proud then and used the extra money to pay off his CC debt in full. I know if you look back a few months he managed this before, but it was a bad depression-driven impulse spend that drove that back up again. Anyway, all cleared now. Again.

But the other thing OH talked about was getting a bike. Conversation with his friends on the subject has been animated. He has friends who deal in bikes and are experts on bike bargains, and all the maintenance and repair gubbins that goes along with that. Specifications have been muttered about, photos procured, deals done in beer and handshakes and giddy expectations set. This is happening.

There is no way he needs a bike, and I fear this is just another last hurrah shouted against the inevitable deepening of his midlife crisis-driven angst, with anxiety and depression to really stick the leather boot in. Also I don't like them. I can't ride pillion, I'm scared to death of death. I don't like the silliness of biker crowds; the occasional mangled legs and knee caps and beer bellies straining against tight leathers. The inability to listen to music without losing a bit more of your hearing. Why so loud all the time? :shhh:

The only thing is... I think this might actually make him happy. He was so sad when his last bike got stolen, torched and dumped round the corner. It may even have been the start of his decline, if I'm honest.

It's £500 we could put towards the loans. It's £500 for a want not a need. It's money we are not spending on Christmas, heck, I've cancelled Christmas.

It's money we might well have use for if his job comes to an end sooner rather than later.

But he's right, it is a bargain. He says he is so happy that I have stayed calm about it... but inside I'm crying. I think we'd be all right, but I can just keep picturing future disappointed people when we can't afford to buy them presents as they glance witheringly at the shiny bike.

Or should I just be thinking, sod buying tat for other people. We've spent the money on a sort of therapy? Will I just have to go mad instead?

And in the meantime, I am scratting for bargain healthy dinners. A friend at work recommended gooseberries with the mackerel, and I happened to have a load in the freezer from my brother's old allotment. Good tip! I cooked some up with a spoon of sugar and some water, then sieved into a nice smooth, tart sauce.

Tonight will be a veggie dahl, using yellow split peas which have been soaking overnight. I'll cook more than we need and freeze the rest, which will save time and energy in the long run. Lentils are cheap, but these are even cheaper, and following the WHO news about meat, I think we'll be eating a lot less of that anyway.

wishus

I did a very scary bit of button-pushing this morning and paid the roofer. £6K - gone. :eek:

Together with the equity and solicitor money paid out earlier that's all the allocated loan money used... and none left over for any of the other money-pit jobs. Good job I've saved my earnings from job 2!

Next on the list: rewiring, re-pointing brickwork and replacing windows. Trouble is I don't quite have the £4K required by any of those jobs. Just about enough to fix the connections in my office.

Aaagh. What a flaming money pit!! :mad: Everything has cost a couple of K more than we thought. But without some of these basics done there's no way we can even sell the house to even buy somewhere that's less work. :shocked:

I think I was quite lucky to have parents who were quite hands on; doers and fixers with an eye for the 'potential' in a property and a realistic view of what needs doing, as well as the knowledge and skills to get a lot done themselves. They helped me to pick my little 1940s semi, and my dad helped me repair it when the previous tenants wrecked the kitchen ceiling. I've made sure all the little bits of work got done when they needed so that prices didn't stack up.

The house I'm in now is my husband's first house and he was here a few years before I moved in. It had work that needed doing, but not much got done. Some of the work that needs to be done now is down to neglect, though the house was not a good buy in any light, charming though it is to be able to say you live in a Victorian house. They were still a little duped to be honest, and I've never felt comfortable with making decision on the place as it has never felt like my home. Even though I now part-own it, it still doesn't. I'm hoping this will change.:(

But, it remains a lovely house, and so pretty. It will be so much cozier with the new roof and if I knuckle down I can get the money for the rest.

Psst... I've even applied to go on a quiz show. Who Dares Wins, right? It's not that one...:rotfl:

wishus

OH has gone on a trip to the Lincolnshire coastline for a couple of days as a bit of a rest cure for himself and to see his parents who live there, and who haven't been well themselves. A chance bit of family time and the sea air should do him good.

I could do with a break myself. I broke into my emergency money last night as I was so sad and tearful - I needed wine. Oh, it was beautiful! Sore head today, though, and I've been fighting cravings for crisps all day, which is really bad as we have a tuck shop man and another van that come round, as well as a vending machine. I gave in a bit though as a colleague bought us donuts, and I've just broken into my 'stash' of unwanted corporate gifts. Some out of date trail mix. I'm sure it's fine!

Tomorrow at work a load of Halloween stuff is planned. Well, I can't muster any enthusiasm... but I think I'll bring OH's shop-bought fancy dress outfit from last year. We're also supposed to bring in cake, and I'll make a Victoria sponge I think as I have plenty of jam in the cupboard, though I have just been sent a recipe for medieval 'soul cakes', which I've also got the ingredients for. :think:

On my lonesome tonight then... and with a lot of food to eat to myself as I defrosted some YS liver (39p) for our dinner, only had lots of free leftover pizza at work from something, and then OH bought home some chicken so we didn't bother cooking. I don't half zone in on a lot of free food1 Ah well, shan't starve! :rotfl:

Then everyone at work is going out after... to avoid spending money on cocktails and trains home, I have declined and will instead attend a friend's baby shower. I'll take along a toy owl I knitted as my contribution. I'll either have to cycle there or take the bus, so a fairly early night is in order. :A

wishus

Oh my life, how manic was my morning!

I made my cake for today's coffee morning last night, then realized I didn't have a cake tin. So I constructed a cake-safe transportation thing out of two plastic picnic plates and a load of foil. Then it was raining! I ran for the bus, missed it, and then had to run into town for my connection. Made it though, which is great, because otherwise I'd have needed £9 for the train. :eek:

I think I was pretty clever with my cake-making. I didn't want to go out and buy extra ingredients. My colleague wanted lemon drizzle... tough! No lemons. I used my trusty Good Housekeeping recipe book from circa 1978 for inspiration and saw that I could add 'coffee essence' to my Victoria sponge mix to make coffee cake - what's that lurking at the back of the cupboard from that one recipe I tried last year? Camp coffee essence. At last, another chance to use it! :rotfl:

Didn't have any caster sugar either. No problem! I just whizzed up some ordinary granulated sugar in my food mixer for a minute or so. I could have done that with another lot to make icing sugar for the top, I suppose, but couldn't be bothered.

I put the cake in the oven and polished the cake mix out of the bowl while watching Obese: A Year to Save Your Life. Tasted blooming great.

To sandwich the cake together, I used some of the gooseberry jam I made last year, with gooseberries from my bro's allotment.

Anyway, it survived the journey, it's here, and I've just tried a nibble and it's lush.

Of course, other people have gone to town with decoration and icing (or got their wives too, tut tut), and mine does look rather humble next to the tray bake with chocolate gravestones and jelly worms, but who needs frills, eh?

Today there are so many cakes and crisps around, it's going to be a bad day for junk. I've also got a pot of liver and mash leftovers which I'll eat at 5pm as I won't have chance to go home, so at least that will be something decent.

I thought I'd be generous and double the donation to Macmillan, only to see people have been putting tenners into the pot. Sorry... I want to do my bit, but £28K in debt... I had to write down my donation so they can get Gift Aid, so I can see what other people have beenputting and they can see what I put. Hope £2 doesn't look like I'm a mean sod.

A quick trip to Mozzas for the first November spend on erm, groceries... Going to a baby shower tonight, so got some fizzy ros! and ice cream soda, as loved by the pregnant lady. £3.54 in total. May need further alcohol spends tomorrow as we are off to a party with some proper drinkers.

My last spend of October (yesterday) was because I had to go and get cat food. Went just before the shop was closing and got a big bag of spinach 4p, spring greens 2p, fresh growing coriander 3p and 2 x 3p Kingsmill roll packs. I think a sag aloo is in order tomorrow night!:)

wishus

I'm very glad the weekend is over. Trying to stay positive has been a real struggle. The baby shower was great but I felt intimidated by there being so many women I didn't know, and it probably wasn't at all the case but I felt very much the oddball. I took low alcohol wine and pop, but everyone else had alcohol-free wine. I stuck to pop.

Conversely on Halloween night, I ended up accidentally drunk. I hate being out of control and the thought I had made a fool of myself has plagued me all Sunday, and still does, though I am calmer now. I have been feeling a massive compulsion to talk to myself and say very negative things, or make weird noises, which I'm sure was annoying and worrying in equal measure yesterday for OH. It's happened before, quite a while ago, and I know it goes away so I am not sure whether I need to 'do' anything about it. I think I'm okay, it's just stress. I've just been talking with OH about it, and noted how I've been able to pretty much get on with things today without weird outbursts, and how I think I might be one of those people who just has to keep going and not stop to let the mad in.

Of course, I'm also a bit of a workaholic. And insomniac. So the brain is not in good shape...

I think I need to try to take care of myself a bit better. :undecided

It's not helping that things are so chaotic at home with the clearout and decorating going on, so tonight I won't be able to do my job 2 - I'll get on with the clearout stuff. OH can't do it all by himself.

I did treat myself with a bus ride to a far library on Saturday so I could get a book I really wanted to read - which is Adam Nevill's No One Gets Out Alive. So far, so scary! Lovely when you can achieve things for little or nowt, isn't it? And then yesterday OH treated us to the cinema to see Spectre. Not terribly MSE, that!:rotfl:

mothernerd

As the lovely beanielou always says, just keep plodding. If it's any comfort, I would have been too scared to even go to the baby shower.

wishus

Thank you, mothernerd I shall!