Always Pass on What You Have Learned

wishus

Whilst I have been HOOFing along, and chasing success in one area of my life, while trying to support OH as best I can, I have taken my eye off the ball a bit.

OH is now back at work, not full time - easing himself in. So money is tight tight tight.... and we haven't been as strict with ourselves as we should have been, which is causing me anxiety.

What I constantly forget is that spending is so strongly linked to our psyche and emotional and mental well-being. Hence, like the other day when I have one vintage cider too many, I was Mrs Yes woman, saying yes to things we didn't need, or possibly even want (band CDs). I don't know, I was drunk!
:A :beer::A

Joking aside, it really didn't help.

I have lots of day-job/job 2 work on my plate at the moment, plus I need to write, and then I want to do lots in the garden, a big home declutter, and make some extra money from that if we can.

I keep. Losing. Focus.

Time to wake up. We don't want to be where we are a year from now. We must move forward. I am 11% through my debt, I have made over-payments, but need to do a lot more to whittle any months off the end.

I want to get fit, cheaply. I just did my first triathlon and my 50th parkrun. I can do this!
I want to write. Well, here I am, writing. Just got to make time for the other words. I can do this!
I want to grow my own food. I can at least grow spuds, because we have loads of those in the garden.
I want to make my own clothes. It's all within my power... the time will come when I have got rid of all the other rubbish I don't need, and then I will have time and space aplenty. In the meantime, my charity shop chic is getting me through.

Lots of control over me and mine... it's trickier when a lot of what you want is dependent on someone else, but we want the same thing, and we can help each other. I have to be extra strong for him and be a shining light.
:idea::idea::idea:

I can do this!

in_need_of_direction

Of course you can. We all believe in you.

wishus

A bit of a test post - I'm not sure if I can post on this internet connection.

I had a bit of a wibble mid-August and decided I couldn't cope with active money-saving, or weight loss or any aspect of self control. I stopped going to Weight Watchers, but was still paying for it, allowed my OH to get Netflix when we haven't sorted out a reduced TV package, so that's an extra cost, and basically pigged out on a load of free snacks I got from work.

Working two jobs, with my OH still depressed, the clutter accumulated and I felt penned in by my own house. We weren't going out much, but I started letting good habits slip, and there was a fair bit of fast food and convenience food consumed.

I had the free mindfulness course, but I had got that for OH and he couldn't bring himself to get round to doing it: I was reminding him at the wrong time; I wasn't around when he was ready for the log-in. We let that slip.

I had my birthday, went on holiday - camping in Cornwall - and oh my life, the release. It wasn't until then I realised just how much things had been getting to me. I think I was on the verge of going under myself. I was beginning to think it might be an idea to go to the docs, but I thought I'd try taking better care of myself instead.

Here's how I've got on...


For my birthday, I got a Fitbit, and was just using it as pedometer. This month I've looked into using it properly, tracking my sleep and my food. I've realized it was pointless carrying on with paying a Weight Watchers subscription, when this does everything I needed from WW and more.

Getting the 10K steps goal done gives me a little buzz (literally!) and I use my dashboard to check I'm eating enough, and not too much. Sometimes if I want a little treat, I just have to include a bit more activity in the day. I'm not too worried if I go slightly over on one day, as sometimes, I've eaten not enough and as long as the graph looks roundabout okay, that's fine... but it's great when all the boxes line up with smiley green faces. In the zone!

One thing I'm struggling with is sleep. I am aiming for the healthy 8 hours a day, but though I try, I keep waking up in the night. I know I am still quite anxious, but good rest is a must. I'm averaging just under 5 hours, though I managed 9 on Friday/Saturday (that'll be the wine), but only 6 for the next 2 days, despite any attempts at early nights and lie-ins.

Tonight, I will factor in a warm bath and some Ovaltine. Maybe some kalms too... see if that helps.

OH has been back to work a couple of months but is not coping and has had to take emergency leave. I think he is going to lose his job, because they have tried to be supportive, but it's just not working. And then what will happen? I just don't know...

Moves have been made towards the roof repair. The scaffolding is up. Most of the loft contents are down, and we have made several trips to the recycling centre for stuff that should never have been stored or that we no longer wish to store... all my GCSE homework for example. And although I am keeping some of my oldest and most treasured childhood toys, what's the point of hanging on to all of them? Got no daughters to pass things on to. How much will my great nieces want? They are already swamped in a sea of pink plastic. Quite the KonMarie we have going on... my old toys and crocs and things will go to charity. And my local library will be taking *some* of my books.

More positives: £5K of my debt has been paid off already - that's 1/5 gone!

wishus

I'm having a mixed day...

Good:

• I am wearing trousers I couldn't get into 2 weeks ago; Fitbit is working for me.
• The roofer has called to say he will start work on our roof next week.
• a productive morning, creating resources for work.
• I plucked up the courage to look at my budgeting spreadsheets and bank transactions and am now up to date.
• Made jerk chicken with rice and peas for last night's tea - using chicken we'd got for free from a friend who was defrosting her fridge, and it was awesomely yum. More free chicken for tonight's tea.
• Had the relaxing bath I planned to have yesterday, which I'm sure has done me some good.

Not so good:

• Only 5 hours, 45 minutes' sleep again.
• Another day sick for OH, though he does have a doc appointment to discuss switching meds.
• That spreadsheet - :eek: If I'm to avoid spending more than I've earned this month from the dayjob, then I've only got £67 left. Unfortunately, that's not enough.

I have a working weekend away near month end, and fortunately that can be covered by second job income. Here are my sticking points:

• I arranged a meet-up night out this Saturday. Just got to cover mine and OH's drinks, so hopefully we will be sensible and not have too much.
• A paid for trip to Harry Potter Studios. But the organiser wants us all to go on the train at peak time! Well, that's £80. :mad: Won't cost us a quarter of that if we can drive.
• Erm... food.

I think I've got no option but to borrow from another budget and then solidly reign things in. Not going to things will lose face and cause ruckus. I shan't go on my works night out, and I have turned down other invites, so hopefully that will be that.


But, when the roof is fixed, the debt will still be there, and possibly OH's job won't be.

wishus

Like a smack in the face, I was struck by a way to save a bit of money yesterday. I feel so dumb.... why didn't I think of it sooner?

My train pass needed to be renewed today. So I didn't renew it. Instead I got up half an hour earlier and went and got myself a bus pass. This saves me £71! :money:

You'd think this would mean less sleep. But no! Fitbit says I slept for 6 and a half hours, which is not enough, but it's about an hour more than I normally get. I think the Ovaltine helped. :coffee:

Cons - I will be later home tonight, and also, the walk to the bus stop is not as far as the train station, so it will take a real effort to get my steps in today.

As for the other great expenditure, we'll definitely drive the 50 miles to Watford - no way am I spending £80 on tickets. And we'll take packed lunches as there's only Costa sandwiches and cakes there, which are very dear.

We're in the end stages of the great-loft sort out, and our house is looking a bit hoarderish still. I spent last night reducing two boxes into one. It seems OH is a bit sentimental towards our many candles and candle holders, but then I suppose nights are drawing in, and we do like to burn a few at this time of year. Looks like we have a few to get through. I also found a couple of beloved old watches, and hinted strongly that a good Chrimbo present for me would be to get them working again. I'm sure they just need new batteries.

I thought I would throw out most of my old porcelain dolls, but I've ended up keeping most of them. I passed a charity shop window this morning, and saw what I recognized as beautiful 80s character dolls in the window. The charity wanted £175-£250 for them, which would be a bargain for the collector who knows what they are... although I think a lot of people's reactions would be :eek: - if not at the price, then at the dolls themselves. I know a lot of people find them creepy! :rotfl:

But OH is doing a charity run today for all the things we have decided we can live without... that's if he is up to it. He's not at work. Been signed off.

lazer-zxr

Great diary.
I'm picking up some tips from reading through , and really seeing the value in reading the DFdiaries on here.

Thanks.

wishus

Indeed lazer-zxr - I am always inspired by other people's writing. I'm reading plenty on here, and I'm also re-reading Kath Kelly's How I Lived For a Year for a Pound a Day, which must be my 5th re-read, but it helps me to feel grounded and in good company.

wishus

I've just updated my budget as I needed to go shopping yesterday for some onions. I made a lentil dahl with sides of yellow rice, yoghurt, mint and cucumber raita and a couple of plain flour chappatis - all made by me! Much cheaper than a takeout or ready meal.. I'm out of rice now, though...

OH seems to be having a better day today than the past couple of days, which is great.

Fitbit says I am still not getting much sleep. I really feel it now. I've not had much energy to do much in the evenings apart from wrap up in a blanket to watch TV. I feel like I have been nesting amongst the piles of sort-out boxes. Well, luckily many will be cleared today. I've gone and rescued a couple of things from the charity pile... I couldn't say goodbye to my vintage Zapf doll, Emily, or my chickaboo. And then we realised my miniature cannon is not just an ornament - it flipping works! So that's not going to charity either.

8 forever...

Thanks to generous friends, my diet this past week has included bounty from the sea - cod caught by a friend who went on a fishing trip and had too much in his freezer already, chicken from my friend defrosting her freezer which did us for 3 meals, and this weekend another friend has asked me to go round and help him pick his apples in return for a load. Apple pie! Nom nom. :drool:

The chestnuts in the park are starting to drop too. Best get to 'em before the squirrels have the lot!

wishus

Quick update before I go off to bed. The roofer is coming first thing tomorrow, and my American boss is coming over, so feeling super wired and anxious.


Lots to do this week, but I am starting to think about maximising what we have to minimise spending. Hence this weekend I've combined my quest for fitness with one for food and went out foraging. Lots of elderberries and nettles about, but I was after the last of the season's blackberries, and sweet chestnuts as well.


There weren't many blackberries left at all, but enough to make some lovely muffins this evening (OH ate one while it was still warm from the oven and declared it delicious!), which will be packed lunch treats for this week. The bush where I found them had several pairs of gardening gloves abandoned below, which left me baffled. I did take my gloves along, but they're not much good for handling the soft fruit... instead my gloves were for handling the prickly shells of horse chestnuts, not that I needed to use them in every case - the tree was in full self-defence mode, firing fat little chestnuts at my head from cupules split on the branch. The tree was next to the main road, so a lot of drivers would have seen me scrabbling for nuts at the roadside. I must have looked like a funny sort of squirrel. :rotfl:


Most of my walk took me through the nature reserve and old railroad. It was a bracing jaunt, and I was rewarded with the sight of a sparrow hawk hovering over its prey. Also, on the way back, the make-up fairy left me a present... I spotted an eyeliner that looked new. On picking it up, I saw it wasn't, but of course couldn't throw it back down again as that would be littering. Not risking eye disease, though! However, there was a little trail of brand new unopened items like breadcrumbs on the route back... somebody must have been in a hurry and dropped them out of their bag.


Today, I swapped some of my chestnut haul for a bag of apples from a friend's tree. I'll set to making some apple pies and take one to a friend who is having some minor surgery this week and will be stuck at home after.


It's going to be a busy week, but whilst I have been anxious and tearful about some of the things in my life that aren't going so well, I do feel proud of my little achievements here and there.

wishus

Forgot to mention yesterday that we were having a bit of a "French" day.

OH and I picked up some snails in garlic butter in Lidl because we were feeling curious, and because they weren't horrendously expensive. We decided to save them for a "French Day". Well, we decided that would be yesterday as we cuddled under a blankie and got through a huge chunk of a Les Revenants (The Returned) box set on our Netflix free trial. I know there's an American remake, but my experience of remakes is that they are either scene by scene exactly the same, or fail to capture some of the original brilliance of whatever it was they were trying to emulate. Plus, French in translation, occasionally strangely or not at all = more mysterious!

Having last been offered snails at primary school and refusing, I had relied on my schoolfriends' palettes to give me an indication of what they might taste like. "Rubber" apparently, they had said, so I hadn't bothered finding out for myself (plus was vegetarian for most of my life since then anyway). New verdict: they are like very garlicky mushrooms. Pretty nice, actually.

It had us wondering if we should have a go at some of the garden snails, do a sort of gastronomic pest control, but I'm disappointed to read that they're not all good to eat from English gardens, and I wouldn't have the first clue at spotting the right species. So that's one thing we're not going to have a go at anytime soon.

But as I've scouted for clues, I found this article on making rose hip syrup. I spotted loads of hips down the nature reserve on Saturday. Something else I could try, maybe? Apparently it's best to wait until after the first frost to gather the fruit, which is great for me as I have to go away at the weekend, so won't be able to go picking until the weekend after. Oh, and I never knew about itching powder coming from rose hips before! :eek: Read the article to find out about that!

Anyway, I carried on the French vibe this morning as I grabbed a new book to read on the bus from the shelf, which was actually a second-hand copy of Peter Mayle's Bon Appetit! I think we may have got this in a book swap... but reading about lovely bread and truffle festivals on the way to work had me very ready for my porridge this morning!