newly single mum - money saving tips please :-)

nublue

Hi,
My husband dropped the bombshell on Friday that he is a secret gambling addict and over the last few years he has amassed a huge amount of debt. So I have been suddenly plunged from being part of a relatively affluent small family to a single mum to a lovely young daughter, with no idea what the future holds, financial or otherwise.

I do work, but I am low income and have a long term chronic illness which affects me greatly, and means that I struggle with fatigue and pain, and don't have a lot of energy.

I am looking at the obvious changes - like energy switches cancel sky etc. but wondered if there were other tips I could get to help me make savings.

Thinking things like managing a food budget etc. and things that don't require a huge amount of extra physical effort as I struggle as it is :-)

T.I.A.

Any advice VERY gratefully received.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

What a terrible shock. This board is full of lovely friendly advice though.

Take a deep breath, make a cuppa and look at things one at a time so it's not overwhelming. Priorities are rent/mortgage, Council Tax and utilities.

Your friends will be feeling for you; don't be shy of asking for lifts, babysitting, help with heavy chores when you're having a bad day etc.

OurLass

Welcome on board. You're in the right place, lots of lovely helpful people here.

Marker_2

My husband is a gambling addict and it is a constant struggle. I am at my witts end most of the time. And honestly it makes me anxious and depressed. Being the wife of is horrible. No life anybody should lead.

I sheild my children because I have to. And I do my best to make sure their lives emotionally and financially are not affected much.

In your situation, you need to find out what 'help' you can get from tax credits, whether its help with childcare costs or extra allowance for being a single parent. And then start working through your bills and outgoings. Changing payments, stopping stuff you don't need etc. It is hard, and worse that you are having to rejig your life through no fault of your own.

I am a full time working mother of two - one of which is in full time nursery. It is hard but you CAN do it. Life will become easier. xx

RAS

nublue

Some basics:

Do you have your own separate bank account. If so make sure everything is paid into that. If not, arrange one PDQ.

Do you have any joint bank accounts, savings accounts or is your ex the second card holder on any account? If so, you need to stop all further debits.

Take out the money and then write a letter to the bank telling them that all further debits require both signatures.

Do a credit check with all three agencies in case there are accounts about which you do not know. You may also need to dissassociate yourself from your ex to prevent damage to your credit records.

Once you know any debts, pay them off and give your ex part of the remaining cash.

Go to www.turn2us.org.uk and check out what benefits you can claim. Are you currently recieving tax credits?

Do you have a mortgage or do you rent?

Apply fpr single person CT discount. Remove his name from the electoral roll as well.

mashedavocado

I'd suggest looking at putting a budget together to show things as they stand right now (being brutally honest) so that you can see where there are any reductions you can make, and to make sure you've got everything covered. There's a template here: http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/Budget-planning

And welcome to the board as pp have said, there's a lot of good advice here.

nublue

Hi all and thanks for making me welcome

The things I have done so far are:

move the utiities using the cheap club here
cancel sky
start to move bills into my name and change the account to my private account
phoned tax credits awaiting form
booked an appointment with a solicitor
arranged free counselling via gamcare (for both of us)

I havent changed the joint account yet, but I have told him we need to, the trouble is it is in overdraft and I dont have much money as I needed to take most of this week off and even so it wouldnt be enough. He has given me all his cards to cut up which I have done and I have checked his credit report with Experian to check his info is truthful. RAS you said 3 agencies? I dont know the others?

We have a joint mortgage with a good amoutn of equity so very worried about that... he has spoken to step change and they have created a DMP for him but he seems to think it offers some kind of protection for us but I am not so sure...

nublue

Marker, Iam full of adniration for you, I am not sure I could do it. I am still not sure how this will pan out but I would be worried constantly about money and his actions if he came home...

At the moment my husband isnt gambling (he cant - has no money) and is adamant he is not going to do it again, he is making all the right noises. Has your husband ever stopped before?

nuttyp

Nublue is he going into betting shops, casinos or just amusement arcades. if so he needs to be self excluded from them all, even online companies can be included. I am a betting shop manager if you need any help please pm me. Its only my job, honestly I don't avocate gambling at all. Please please take care of yourself and your child

117pauline

Good evening and welcome

You will get much help and support on these boards so I will go down a slightly different route.

You mention a chronic illness which will slow down your efforts towards sorting things out. Take time to look after yourself and set small goals rather than getting everything done immediately and burning yourself out.

I would suggest you don't ignore the importance of your well-being and that of your child.


good luck
Pauline

Purple_kitten

I’m not sure how much I can add to this other than you will find MSE is a wealth of information and support.

Your post resonates with me, as my ex was a gambling addict, I remember those times, if you ever need to talk please feel free to PM.

Remember to look after yourself and health as all of the information you are taking in may be a bit surreal and a shock to the system.