Advice please - getting baby to nap?

Lydia.42

Hi guys
I'm hoping someone may be able to help. We have a beautiful 11 week old baby boy - our first. I love him to bits, but he is driving me potty with his refusal to sleep at all during the day!!!!!! :rotfl:

He goes from around 6am/6.30am through to 6/7pm without sleeping. Consequently he gets progressively more and more tired and more and more foul tempered and miserable as the day goes on. Now that he is playing more he is getting even more tired and the afternoons/evenings are such hard work with him crying continuously as he is over-tired. To the point where he nows cries during his bathtime and final feed (he used to love his bath). The other problem is that we are beginning to put him to bed earlier so that he gets the sleep he needs (and to save our nerves) with the result that mornings are now beginning at 5/5am (which then means that he is tired earlier the following day - the cycle is getting worse).

We have tried putting him in his cot for naps, but he screams and goes purple with rage until he is finally picked up. We have tried leaving him (having checked he is clean and not hungry, etc), but he is so stubborn he continues screaming, getting more and more worked up until we buckle.

I understand that babies have a will of their own (he is very strong willed already as you can tell), but would like to hear if anyone else has had the same problem, and if they have any advice on what to do/how to get him to sleep - short of alcohol or ear plugs. :rotfl:

alwaysonthego_2

I always find that when baby is ready for a nap, you need to set a routine for a nap morning and afternoon, is about right for a 11 week baby, put him in his pram and rock it back and forth. He might cry but the rocking motion will soothe him to sleep.

good luck to getting a bit of peace and quiet

gypsyroseloz

Hi,
I agree with alwaysonthego. Our son is now 21 months old & believe me there is plenty of bad times but the good definately outweigh the bad!!!
We used to have a sleep before dinner, around 1030-11 then again around 3. The pram is a great way to try & establish this, try & avoid the car as it could become a really unconvenient habit! (have friends who did this)
Treat it as a blip, if he's sleeping through make the most of it! Lots of early nights for all. Also, I was a "no child of mine is ever going to have a dummy" Mummy but he has a dummy, only for bedtime though! Something to bear in mind, its not the end of the world. Our dentist said a dummy was better than juice in a bottle!!
Hope this rambling offer is of some help! It will get better!
Loz

daveyjp

I recommend a book by Dr Motha - Gentle First Year. It contains some excellent advice about getting babies off to sleep. One favourite technique we still use with our 16 month old is to use downward strokes between baby's eyes.

Js_Other_Half

It will get better - honest!

If it hadn't have been for the Fisherprice swing in the first few months DS wouldn't have slept during the day( and sometimes at night...) He gradually needed it less and less as he got older and more able to take on board what was happening around him.

If he will go to sleep whilst being pushed in a pram, you could consider a dream mover?: http://www.edirectory.co.uk/pf/880/mia/d/dream+mover+%96+the+best+baby+invention+since+the+pram/pid/4027817

Have you been invited on any baby massage classes yet? I found baby massage good for calming DS down, and once or twice in desperation I've actually worn him in a sling for hours in order to get some peace. I've also put a drop of lavender on a piece of muslin in the cot with him - not sure if it worked, or if he was so tired from crying that he'd have gone to sleep anyway.

He is now 7 months, and I think back to what he was like then and wince - now he sleeps all night as well as several hour long naps during the day.

Good luck with it all.

Carmina_Piranha_3

mine fell asleep in a swing or a vibrating bouncy chair at that age, and also being rocked by me. that's personal choice - i was told the 'rod for your own back' stuff but he sleeps all night - never wakes up during the night so it's just the getting to sleep bit that he wants me for. i read a book when i was pregnant and the advice was that babies under 6 months are too young for controlled crying techniques etc. so i followed that, although other mums do things differently. mine had reflux and colic so i gave in to his whims more than other mums would, and i don't let him get too angry because he vomits :eek:

stroking between the eyes works wonders if a baby is tired, sends puppies to sleep too. my babe (who is now 2 years old but still my baby lol!) also goes to sleep if i'm breathing slowly next to him, as if i've gone to sleep.

i suppose the aim is for baby to fall asleep on their own and not rely on being stroked and patted but i needed my sleep so i gave in to the baby's demands for my company.

incidentally at that age he slept much less than other people's babies during the day, his naps were 20 mins long (3 per day) - but that's better than nothing he ought to be napping at least a little bit i think, but don't be upset if he doesn't nap for as long as other people's babies.

Fizog

I used to plonk my babes under a tree so they could watch the leaves move, or rock rock rock the pram, long walks in the park and classical music in the cot with a dummy usually did the trick. Mine didn't sleep at night ...can't win can you. best of luck when they're 17 you can't get them to stop sleeping!

Elle00

My DS was just like yours; slept through the night but point blank refused to sleep during the day between about 12 and 16wks.

I quite simply had enough in the end and left him to it (it was that or a nervous breakdown). If he wanted to scream the house down then he bloody well could; I used to go and lay on my bed with a pillow over my head. By the end of the first week he just didn't bother crying anymore. We've had little hiccups here and there but overall my DS has been exceptional for settling himself overall. He's nearly two now and "reads" a book to himself in bed quietly for 10mins before dozing off on his own. I never did rocking/singing/mobiles etc because they just make things difficult in the long run - baby becomes dependant on them to get off to sleep instead of learning to settle themselves.

11wks is the age to have realised that crying achieves certain things; in fact I remember catching my DS practising crying and peeping out of the corner of his eye to check it was working at about 8 or 9wks old!!! If you know your child is clean and fed then there really is no need to check them because it sends mixed signals. Put him down in his cot, shut the curtains, whisper FIRMLY "I'll see you when you've had a rest baby" and walk off - shutting the door behind you (you might also benefit from the pillow over your head technique the first few times). If he really does have a dirty nappy then dare I say it? It won't kill him! Going back to check for a dirty nappy etc just sends mixed signals and is highly unlikely to be the reason he's crying.

If you put your foot down and beat this now you'll make the next few years a hell of a lot easier on yourself. Your baby really is just being manipulative and it's a phase they ALL go through having twigged that certain behaviours (screaming and crying) have certain reactions (Mum comes running). My friend dithered so much at this stage that when she did try to put her foot down over crying - her DS learned how to make himself sick instead. Now she's waiting for a referal to a sleep clinic...

Carmina_Piranha_3

different things suit different people. if my baby cried for me every time he woke up in the night then i probably wouldn't be saying this, but as it's only for getting to sleep at bedtime and for naps i quite enjoy staying with him, it's not a hassle. i let my eldest demand as much of my attention as he wanted when he was a baby and by 2 he'd stopped wanting it, i am expecting the same to happen with my youngest any time now. if the thought of stroking and singing to your child for approx 2 years fills you with horror then feel free to ignore me and my tree-hugging advice

i suppose some children who rely on parents to help them fall asleep would also be crying for them at the end of each sleep cycle, unable to get themselves back to sleep again. mine sleeps all night and for a long daytime nap, he's just a manipulative sociable little badger when first drifting off.

liney

The Baby Whisperer is great for people who dont want to leave babies to 'cry it out' and also helps you set a routine. Google her website.

It will also help to put baby to bed in his own crib, and use black out blinds as babies find darkness soothing. Top tip - If you have a hysterical baby, stand somewhere dark )

Ms_Piggy_2

Have you thought about getting a sling? It means that bubs can be next to you and have lots of reassuring contact but you can still be around and about and do things.

https://www.peppermint.com has a rundown of very different slings that are around. It can look confusing to start with as there are so many about, but many of the slings are produced by work at home mums who are more than happy to answer Qs.
http://www.brightsparkslings.co.uk/ makes pouch slings which are very easy to use.

He's only 11 weeks old and the only way he can communicate anything is by crying! He's not doing it to annoy you!