Serious help and advice needed

TillyTrippit

Hi Hooters,
I can't offer nearly as excellent advice as the other more experienced money savers on here, but I wanted to send you a virtual hug. We've all been daft with money and support each other whilst we sort it out.
Have a look at my signature - the people on here are amazing.
Take care and keep your chin up - there is a light at the end of the tunnel - I tend to think of this site as the light switch!! lol

Take care,
Tilly
xx

cantcope

Hi Hooters.
I am a recovering compulsive gambler and lost nearly 70k in total online in 14 months. most of it was my deposit for a house, the rest on cc's, loans and overdraft.

Firstly well done on accepting you have a problem. Please try and get some emotional support as well as financial help. These boards were fantastic support to me in the beginning and continue to be. I still beat myself up about it sometimes but have accepted i cannot change the past.

Looking at your SOA there are a lot of changes and cutbacks that can be made as you've been shown.

Things that helped me a long the way were doing surveys online, i managed to get arcadia and boots vouchers from pigsback that covered clothing and toiletries.
Luncheon vouchers from pinecone went towards cutting my shopping bill. and i also ordered online to take advantage of the online discount codes. no petrol used, and money off my shopping. I also didnt buy things i didnt need by not wandering through the aisles

Cleaners were simply not bought after i read the fantastic reviews on stardrops! (see oldstyle board) this saved me about £10 a month

I sold lots of stuff at bootsales and on ebay and was surprised at how much that raised. Have a good rummage at the weekend to see what you can sell. £1000 is better than nothing and you may get more than you expect.

Have you had any bank charges you could claim back?

Most importantly look forward. I know it's tough but with the support of your family, friends and the people on here you will get through this.

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

hooters

thanks cantcope, i am seeing a counsellor and CAB next week

cantcope

That's great news. Good luck.

RAS

Hooters

Well done for addressing the situation. keep posting if we can help you or if you just want a chat.

One warning though, DFW is ADDICTIVE.

sammiboo

Hi hooters

I would just like to voice what everyone else has said. I cant add anything more to what advice you have been given.

Dont put yourself down. You've admitted you have a problem. You are asking for help so thats a great start!!

Chin up :grouphug:

hooters

how have other people coped with the guilt, despair and the knowing you will be on an extremmely tight budget for the forseeable future

cantcope

you just do. for me it took buckets of tears, listening to lots of advice, and accepting the things i cannot change.

I was extremely lucky that my folks paid off my debts so that cleared the interest and i've been paying them back ever since. But i have had to make sacrifices to pay it quicker.

I sold my car and got a cheaper one, i first moved to a cheaper place, then this year, in with them! I've sold things that i'd have rather not and i've stayed home in the evenings 90% more than i'd like to.

i thought this time last year i'd be paying them off forever, but with hard work and determination i've cleared 2 thirds of my debt nearly. It can be done....

try to see it as a challenge rather than an obstacle. I didn't but i do now.

I felt ever so guilty for borrowing money from them and letting them down so badly. i still have the odd pang now and again but they can see i've done everything i can to make sure it never happens again.
I've put blocks on my computer, i go to GA meetings and i constantly speak to them about how i'm feeling.

I'm not suggesting you do any of this as everyone is different. Maybe have a look on the GA website just to read some stories of people who've done the same. It might make you feel a little less guilty and abnormal xxx

hooters

update this morning:

I think it's worse than we feared. We sent a cheque to northern rock to pay off the 20,000. this was before I was stupid - now the cheque has cleared our account and paid off northern rock, but the gambling site have now taken their money out.

We now owe 120,000 on our 108,000 one account mortgage.

Any ideas of how to sort this new situation out? We are going to the CAB today.


Many thanks.

Shineyhappy

I guess the CAB will probably be quite a bit more knowledgeable than us. There are two posters on here who work for CCS (a debt charity and they will give advice)

I would suggest you phone up the One account people and see if you can avoid getting extra charges for this.

On a side note, regarding your baby, make sure you or your wife signs up to all the new baby clubs ie Boots, Tescos as they usually give you free stuff or money off tokens. I signed up for loads for a friend and got quite a lot of stuff. Also keep an eye on the freebies board! I know its not much help but every penny counts.