Out of our depth

TheGardener

inbigtrouble wrote: »

Just a quick question,

If one of our creditors did decide to go down the route of filing for our bankruptcy, why would we have less control over things?

Is the process not the same except basically they are paying the bankruptcy fees?

es the process is more or less the same - the difference is that you don't get to decide when and where - I timed my BR very precisely in order to make the most of pay dates/available cash, change in my addresss etc. The point was that after years of finance being out of my control - I was in the driving seat - the planning was mine and it was a step forward - me deciding my future. That was a big deal for me.
Western Culture doesn't always share the same values when it comes to caring for older relatives quite the way you are - I believe you could make the case for her being a dependant. As alastairq says, you need hard evidence to back your case, not a sentimental argument. I was allowed extra petrol money to make at least one trip per month (250 mile round trip) to visit elderly relatives - ok so it wasn't £300 but it was an acknowledgement that I had some care responsibilities.

Y

inbigtrouble

Thanks Guys,

Use cannot begin to imagine what a weight you have both taken off my mind. Seriously, I was on the verge of feeling suicidal over this and our local mental health trust botching up my care, leaving me with no absolutely no support with my mental health conditions, but that is another story.

Obtaining a paper trail will be no problem as we use a foreign exchange agent for all of the payments and can certainly get copies of the agreements even if we don't have the originals.

I spoke with my wife this evening and we have decided to take the bull by the horn and proceed with filing for bankruptcy. Have already downloaded the forms although I have not looked at them yet and of course I will come back with any questions that arise while filling them in.

Again, thank you to everyone for your support and guidance.

TheGardener

Given your level of debt - there are not many other options really. However, you need more than just proof of your payment of MiL's rent - hard evidence WHY you have to pay it - you need to prove her dependency like; her other income, her other expenses, age etc. There are no guarantees but I believe the OR will at least consider your expenditure on this - it will be up to the OR to make the final decision.

inbigtrouble

Realistically, bankruptcy is our only option and this has been a huge learning curve. No more credit cards, loans, overdrafts or other forms of finance for us. If we do not have the means to pay for it, then we cannot have it.

Proving dependancy should be straight forward enough to. MIL's bank statements showing her tiny pension being paid in should cover that, along with a copy of her husband's death certificate.

Not sure how we would prove my wife is an only child and therefore there is no one else to pay her mothers rent. Guess we will have to cross that bridge when we come to it and see what the OR asks for.

Finally going to get our parachute basic bank account opened with co-op tomorrow.

downhillfast

inbigtrouble wrote: »

Finally going to get our parachute basic bank account opened with co-op tomorrow.

... just remember not to mention the prospect of bankruptcy to Coop as although they won't close existing accounts due to bankruptcy they will not open it if they know!
When I opened mine (many years ago now!) they did try to sell me a better account so have a 'reason' in the back of your mind as to why you want the basic account etc :beer:

TheGardener

downhillfast wrote: »

... so have a 'reason' in the back of your mind as to why you want the basic account etc :beer:

I told them I wanted an account and card I could use for online purchases to protect my main account...

tigerfeet2006

Just out of interest would you list your personal debt, your wifes personal debt and your joint debt. Just had a little thought, don't think it will work but I want to see.

inbigtrouble

Unfortunately due to a deterioration in my health we did not manage to open the new co-op account. I know how important this is as we currently bank with 1 of our creditors and will endeavour to address this asap.

Joint debts:

Loan £25,466
Overdraft £613

Total joint: £26,079

Me:

Credit card £3,471
Catalogue £393
Overdraft £1,143
Credit card £3,341
Finance loan £1,821
Catalogue £521
Credit card £4,327
Catalogue £1,249
Benefit overpayment £2,500
Credit card £890

Total me: £19,669


Wife:

Credit card £6,042
Phone £160
Overdraft £2,817
Credit card £2,917
Credit card £9,111
Finance loan £2,009
Credit card £6,319
Credit card £4,089
Store card £4,246

Total wife: £38,318

Generali

inbigtrouble wrote: »

Unfortunately due to a deterioration in my health we did not manage to open the new co-op account. I know how important this is as we currently bank with 1 of our creditors and will endeavour to address this asap.

You really do need to get on to that inbigtrouble. I know it's hard but it's also important.

inbigtrouble

Generali,

Thanks for the push.

We went to co-op yesterday and filled in the forms. Apparently the account should be open within a week.

Was my first time out of the house in 7 weeks and it was horrible, but wife was with me and at least we finally making some progress.