Hi my name is dixi and I'm a debt addict :(

dealer_wins

Dixi, the fact that you have the balls to post that on a forum, tells me that you will get debt free, and this time absolutely stick to being credit free in the future!

Very best of luck!

Sazzie23

Hi Dixi

Welcome back - as you will already know from this site, there is a very strong link between mental health and debt, so don't beat yourself up about either, they go hand in hand. As the other OPs have said, you've fixed it before and you will again.

I joined debtors anonymous online group as I needed to understand more about my debting. I do think it's helped me get more in control, although I'm a bit of a DA dipper and don't follow all the steps all the time.

Good luck with it all, you will get there.

Peter333

bambos wrote: »

Hi Dixi,

Well I've only one thing to say. You've done it once before so you know it's achievable and YOU CAN do it again. Absolutely achievable, credit is never your friend but you already know this and you should be proud for recognising your debt and having your LBM. Don't waste energy chastising yourself this will achieve nothing only make you feel bad.

Laconic wrote: »

Come here! *hugs* You're suffering from the disease called humanity -- we're all weak in some way and no success is ever final. Welcome back.

While you do own your own actions, lenders also assume some risk in lending to you -- the moral hazard isn't all one way, so more fool them too!

Hang in there: you've done it before in far less auspicious circumstances and you'll do it again. It's important to have something rewarding in our lives -- the question is what is it? Sounds like you need to develop more financial goals other than being debt-free, such as asset-rich being a reward -- otherwise the credit cards are waiting in the future.

Good luck and I look forward to your posts.

sofarbehind wrote: »

Oh Dixi,you poor thing. You aren't the only person who has made the same mistake twice and sadly you won't be the last. Beating yourself up about it is a waste of time. You should be proud of facing up to it and of what you've achieved. Your life has changed drastically and it's just going to take you a bit longer to adjust to your new wage and circumstances. YOU WILL GET THERE.

Make yourself a cuppa and plan a budget. Remember you've done this before and you'll do it again. Hopefully it will be a bit easier this time as you've learnt a few things already and your income is better. x

Stop beating yourself up Dixi! We're none of us perfect, and we all screw up! Some people get on their feet beautifully, only to screw up again five years later.

It will get better - as many people have said! Up there ^^^ :T

Ellieseleven

Hi Dixi,

As others have said you have beaten this before and will do again!

Well done for posting and good luck.

Ellie xx

Dixi64

Acknowledged earlier this month that after only 15 months free of my debt I am again shamefully £20,000 in the red and heading straight back to a DMP and finally facing the fact that I am a debt addict and can no longer have access to any form of credit. Since then I've swung between get on with it to despair at my self inflicted situation - ultimately how stupid can I possibly be. Anyway today I am facing the first step to dealing with it ... telling my dh :-( I deal with all our finances he has never wanted to get involved and its always been easier for me to sort it. We've been married over 30 years and have 4 brilliant children (27, 22, 20 and 12), our marriage has not been easy (are any?) and we have survived him having 2 brief affairs (a whole other story), him having a near fatal heart attack at 39 (nearly 15 years ago). He has worked part time since then so our income reduced considerably. I gave up work and studied for a degree and PGCE and have now been teaching for 4 years - so our income has gone up. In recent years we have arrived at a very good place, children growing up as successful young people and moving on, moving from job tied accommodation into local authority house in a lovely area. Finishing my (secret :-( ) dmp last year should have been the icing on the cake. Unfortunately we'd already started borrowing in the months leading up to it being paid off and once I realised we could get credit again it was like I had to keep pushing. Each successful application gave me such a buzz, such a feeling of self worth - it was never really about the money that was frittered away with little thought. I (we) could afford the repayments what was the problem. I was clearly worthy of this money. Big mistake! Fast forward to now and here I sit again facing the fear of a confession to my dh and the shame of debt. Sorry for going on not really expecting any replies just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for being here.

bambos

Ok Dixie so you have debt........it's not the end of the world. You have had your LBM which is a huge relief for you as it could have just continued.

There are so many positive things in your last post and I just wanted to give you a hug. You have raised four happy, and successful children, you've got a degree and a PGCE which is no mean feet (I know) survived a tough time in your marriage and you shouldn't let your debt overshadow the positive things you have accomplished.

You know you can do a DMP as you've done it and you can do it again.

You shouldn't look at telling your husband as a bad thing we all make mistakes and at the end of the day telling him is only confirming your determination to get debt free.

We are all here to help no matter what.

Sazzie23

Hi Dixie

So recognise some factors in your story, although you managed to raised 4 children as well as everything else so yours is even more impressive.

I hope the 'talk' with OH went OK and you are,on your way to sorting things out. I'm not sure what your plans are to deal with it, but it's great you haven't just given up and hidden from it.

You know we are here for you

big hugs (((((hug))))))

Daydreambeliever

Hello Dixie

I have just read your thread and totally understand how you feel. I have not slept for the past week, and finding this website has been the best thing ever, as it's given me the courage to face up to and deal with my problem. I got into debt many years ago and set up a DMP with CCCS, I have been paying into this DMP for 12 years now and had got my debt down from £40,000 to £7,500. Well, in 2012 I don't know what happened to me but I got offered a credit card, overdraft, another credit card, catalogue and of course took it on for emergencies. Well to cut a long story short I am now back up to £21,500 worth of debt and haven't slept for a week as I have been robbing Peter to pay Paul, as well as breaking the rules of my original DMP. So, I telephoned them to confess all and hope they would allow me to add on and waiting to hear from them. But after coming across this website, I know that either way, there's so much support there I'll get it all paid off either self managed or a dmp charity. Please don't be hard on yourself. I felt too ashamed to put a post up about the mess I got into as I worry about people's reactions, so just knowing that I'm not the only one has helped me a little.

You did it before, you can do it again and there are some amazing people on here and some great diaries.

I'm sorry to go on about my little story, but you are not alone Dixie.

Dixi64

Daydream believer thank you so much - I genuinely thought I was alone. Your story is so reassuring and you are so right about the support and help here. Good luck with your dmp, I hope we can share our journeys to financial freedom.

Gladioli

Hi Dixi, I just wanted to say that you whole situation has really struck a chord with me. I had half a lightbulb moment about 12 months ago however did very little about it but did manage to pay off 6k. I have now had a more complete LBM about lots of different areas of my life (money, weight, career) and have given myself 18 months to pay everything off.

However over the last few weeks I keep thinking, well I paid 6k off that means I can get a loan for a new car.... I know that that type of thinking is really silly however it took my husband to say no to stop me. Previously he did not know the level of our debt as like you I manage all of our finances, I think if he still did not know, I would be driving around in a new car. I think I am addicted to debt....