FTB she'll shock: compromise vs future plans

catoutthebag

Thank you for all your inputs.

It's a tougher decision because to add a personal aspect: my ex and I were planning on buying this year til we broke up last year. So difficult in the respect of moving solo to a new place and financially by not sharing a deposit.

Would love to know stats on how quick flats have sold in the nice area and the ground charges and service charge. I guess RM can tell me former and the estate agent the latter straight away? That would help influence a decision.

Otherwise I'll also check out the 2 areas today and 2 lesser areas in the day with a fresh mind to see how it goes.

As silly as it sounds. I want to meet someone. When her this year or next year...and depending on their property situation. ..will influence potential living arrangements for 2 people. That's the kind of future thinking I'm thinking about.

Sure if I moved in a few years. .costs will incur agsin..but house prices will unlikely have dropped and ill have built up equity and acquired furniture etc.

duchy

I do believe it is all about location but there also has to be a reason to move.

Never move out from home because you feel you "should" but because you want to.

Planning to buy a stop gap until you meet the partner you see yourselfmeeting and helping you fund your next better home sounds a little crazy. You are building plans around someone who you may never meet , or may not wish to buy a joint property. What happens if the person you want to spend your future with already has a home big enough and doesn't want to move (or add you to the deeds)

Buy somewhere you want to live now - a property purchase is for a home not an investment . If you love it then so will prospective buyers.
If it is too much of a compromise you won't be happy there -and that's when people make mistakes moving in with a new partner too soon.

Staying living at home in the medium short term is better than spending money on too much of a compromise.

jaylee3

duchy wrote: »

I do believe it is all about location but there also has to be a reason to move.

Never move out from home because you feel you "should" but because you want to.

Planning to buy a stop gap until you meet the partner you see yourself helping you fund your next better home sounds a little crazy. You are building plans around someone who you may never meet , or may not wish to buy a joint property. What happens if the person you want to spend your future with already has a home big enough and doesn't want to move (or add you to the deeds)

Buy somewhere you want to live now - a property purchase is for a home not an investment . If you love it then so will prospective buyers.
If it is too much of a compromise you won't be happy there -and that's when people make mistakes moving in with a new partner too soon.

Staying living at home in the medium short term is better than spending money on too much of a compromise.

This ^^^ with bells on

Stay where you are OP!

You did ask...

NICHOLAS_2

You're being a snob, everyone has to start somewhere.

If the money you have saved doesn't get you what you want then it's pretty obvious what you need to do, grin and bear living with mummy and daddy, which is easier said than done (although im one of the lucky ones that managed to escape them aged 17 so i can't really remember what it's like to live with parents.)

I work in and out of peoples houses weekly, most peoples houses are shabby to some extent. There are very few houses in the West Midlands that you would want to move into and change nothing in.

For 160-170 you will find a shabby semi that needs redecorating, probably replastering, maybe alterations to the electrics. The kitchen will probably be a few years old and so will the bathroom. It wont be a palace.

Lower down the scale, the cheaper houses, you're into the ex council areas mostly.

duchy

catoutthebag wrote: »

As silly as it sounds. I want to meet someone. When her this year or next year...and depending on their property situation. ..will influence potential living arrangements for 2 people. That's the kind of future thinking I'm thinking about.

.

Trouble is giving off that kind of vibe (even subconsciously) tends to repel rather than attract the sort of man you are looking for. Most men don't want to be considered a good catch by the state of their savings or credit rating ............ Would you want a man who would only date you if you earned enough to meet *his* financial criteria ?

Throw away your timetable and concentrate on enjoying your life - when it's right it'll happen. Trying to fit a relationship into a set of boxes to tick is unlikely to work.

catoutthebag

duchy wrote: »

Trouble is giving off that kind of vibe (even subconsciously) tends to repel rather than attract the sort of man you are looking for. Most men don't want to be considered a good catch by the state of their savings or credit rating ............ Would you want a man who would only date you if you earned enough to meet *his* financial criteria ?

Throw away your timetable and concentrate on enjoying your life - when it's right it'll happen. Trying to fit a relationship into a set of boxes to tick is unlikely to work.

Your first paragraph has completely misrepresented me.
I don't care who I met what they earn or where they live if still with parents etx.
However when I meet someone and things eventually get serious and we decide to move in (because I will meet someone and at some point living arrangements will be talked about), it's that I also need to consider.

And whatever I've said, I do want to move out to move out and have my own space back. That's the primary. Meeting someone and incorporating changes that that can entail is secondary.

I don't feel forced out by myself or parents.

But living at home can lead to complacency and settling into a lazy life. Ok in your 20s. Not after. I want to strike while the iron is hot, this year.

duchy

catoutthebag wrote: »

Your first paragraph has completely misrepresented me.
I don't care who I met what they earn or where they live if still with parents etx.
However when I meet someone and things eventually get serious and we decide to move in (because I will meet someone and at some point living arrangements will be talked about), it's that I also need to consider.

.

You are the one who gives the impression you "expect" to meet someone and be in a position to settle down with them "in a year or two" .

You might not meet that person for five years......or you might meet them tomorrow. It might be a slow burn and take another five years before you are both ready to commit to living together -or you might move in together after a month.

Buy a home for *you* and your needs now. Not for some relationship that may or may not require taking where you live into consideration. Who knows you could meet a man who lives in Paris....or New York........or just another UK city...... or a widower with four kids who already has a home .......... If you compromise too much you could end up with a very expensive mistake that is going to be hard to sell on when you need to.

A part of me is a bit horrified that any modern woman in her thirties is basing her financial planning on becoming a part of a permanent couple within such a short time frame (with not even a building relationship in the picture) -and that your choices should be about you now and not the you that you picture in a year. Life is odd and doesn't always turn out exactly as you expect ...... Plan for your needs now and buy somewhere that will make you happy now and avoid a very expensive mistake that could be harder to off load later. If you don't really want to live there- why would anyone else want to buy it ?

catoutthebag

Apologies for giving off that impression.
Firstly, as stated, I've felt more personal impetus to move out now than I've ever done.
Secondly, that impetus is personally driven, not by any current or future plans. I like my own space and need my own space.
Thirdly, I perhaps should not have brought in my personal aspirations in terms of relationship.
Sure, I may meet someone next month or 5 years who the hell knows. I want to meet someone and I will do.
That's answering the question people are often asked if buying a house, especially first house, which is a mere stepping stone, 'where do you see yourself in 3-5 years'.
Answer: living in my own place, whether here or elsewhere? And hopefully having met someone in life.
That's all, really.

And agree with the other sentiments, of course you therefore need to like where you're living.

Hence, I'm going to investigate a few of these areas and houses in the cold light of day, head over heart.

Having said that, doing 1am RM browsing as you do, at 2 of the nicest/aspirational areas in the city, there's lovely 1-2 bed apartments ranging from 110 to 140/150 typically, long leases, roughly £70 extra charge on one I saw (pcm), clean, modern and ready to move into. Green area, leafy and cosmopolitan. So that's where I get torn because whether I'm with someone or not, I don't expect to live in an apartment forever. I rented a similar one in another city for 2 years and was fine - hardly any traffic or neighbour noise and no upkeep. Will investigate how easy it would be to potentially sell.

catoutthebag

And of course the lovely immaculate houses you can get in one of the area I saw today by stumping up another 15-20k. .grr

Armorica

Renting makes more sense.

The idea of building up more equity is risky - you do know house prices can go down as well as up? Selling after only two to three years and this could be a significant risk - depending on the area.

You definitely need to work out what you want/compromises. In the UK housing market, it's impossible to get everything.

In a good location, you may have to compromise on decor. For good decor, you may have to pay more, or accept a less than great location etc. Work out what is most important to you.

I was reasonably ?lucky, for most of my housing decisions, location/size of property has been most important, with cuts down the choices/makes decisions either. Super attractive decor was simply not an option.