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Can my sister bully me out of the house?
SocratesSis
Posts: 8 Forumite
My parents had tenancy in common and made mirror wills. I have lived with them and looked after them for the past 10 years.
My mother passed away a couple of years ago after a long battle with cancer. There were four executors on the will, two uncles, myself and my sister. One of the Uncles died a few months before my mother and the other a few months after. So we are now both sole executors and inheritors. The wills say that the other partner has a life interest but ultimately my sister and myself will inherit the property 50-50. I will inherit the contents, bar a few named sentimental items. I have the right to buy within 3 months of death on my mother's (and three years on my father's - he had this amended as he thought the 3 months was a mistake). My father has a life interest in her half of the property and I have the right to remain there as long as he is alive. (They had wills before that gave me a life interest, I knew this wasn't their intention, as it would be unfair on my sister. So they had the wills redrawn. My sister continually views this with suspicion. The first ones were done in a hurry because my mum was going to get some dangerous treatment. These ones are actually more in her favour)
The main inheritance is the London house that I live in with my elderly and disabled father, I am his main carer and also have LPA on his financial affairs. I currently pay no rent (the will forbids this) but do pay for all the house insurance, and outgoings as usual. Shortly after my mother died all the utility bills etc were transferred into my name.
I paid for all the wake expenses, paid off an overlooked electricity bill (something had happened to the direct debit). My sister does not help with my father's care, works locally, but visits about 4 times a year and then it is purely about financial matters. I 'loaned' her 5000 for a car, my mother left some cash in two envelopes, one each, with a few hundred pounds I think. I didn't see because she argued that they were all meant for her. I found it easier to let it go rather than avoid the argument.
It has taken us a very long time to resolve the probate as my sister nitpicked about every single detail, wanting to refuse to pay for valid expenditure. She even accused me of hiding an account (she always used to say that "Mum's got more money than she lets on") and refuses to believe that this is the extent of it. I have contacted the two banks she had accounts with, have double checked that there is nothing more, also gone through every item of paperwork for the past 7 years with my sister to prove that there was nothing else. I have been verbally abused by her and her husband, and also physically attacked by her in a vicious manner. The police came round and said if I officially reported it, I no longer have the choice not to press charges, as it is domestic abuse and they have to press charges now, - this would have implications for her job, so I we had an unofficial chat.
Now, she and her husband are about to be evicted (they live outside of London) and keep shouting at me for money. She keeps demanding I buy the quarter interest in the property. I'm not sure if that is possible (because of my father's life interest). They want it to get a deposit for a house. They rent a house beyond their means, and they want to continue to do the same. (A four bedroom with large garden)
Now they are threatening to move in to our two bedroom property. My father adamantly does not want this. They are loud and abusive towards him, and generally do what they want rather than respect that this is is home for the past 50 years! He told them in no uncertain terms- but they are the kind of people who will just turn up and move in.
Can they move in and make our lives a misery? Can I buy them out? Can my father sell anything to give them the money they need?
My mother passed away a couple of years ago after a long battle with cancer. There were four executors on the will, two uncles, myself and my sister. One of the Uncles died a few months before my mother and the other a few months after. So we are now both sole executors and inheritors. The wills say that the other partner has a life interest but ultimately my sister and myself will inherit the property 50-50. I will inherit the contents, bar a few named sentimental items. I have the right to buy within 3 months of death on my mother's (and three years on my father's - he had this amended as he thought the 3 months was a mistake). My father has a life interest in her half of the property and I have the right to remain there as long as he is alive. (They had wills before that gave me a life interest, I knew this wasn't their intention, as it would be unfair on my sister. So they had the wills redrawn. My sister continually views this with suspicion. The first ones were done in a hurry because my mum was going to get some dangerous treatment. These ones are actually more in her favour)
The main inheritance is the London house that I live in with my elderly and disabled father, I am his main carer and also have LPA on his financial affairs. I currently pay no rent (the will forbids this) but do pay for all the house insurance, and outgoings as usual. Shortly after my mother died all the utility bills etc were transferred into my name.
I paid for all the wake expenses, paid off an overlooked electricity bill (something had happened to the direct debit). My sister does not help with my father's care, works locally, but visits about 4 times a year and then it is purely about financial matters. I 'loaned' her 5000 for a car, my mother left some cash in two envelopes, one each, with a few hundred pounds I think. I didn't see because she argued that they were all meant for her. I found it easier to let it go rather than avoid the argument.
It has taken us a very long time to resolve the probate as my sister nitpicked about every single detail, wanting to refuse to pay for valid expenditure. She even accused me of hiding an account (she always used to say that "Mum's got more money than she lets on") and refuses to believe that this is the extent of it. I have contacted the two banks she had accounts with, have double checked that there is nothing more, also gone through every item of paperwork for the past 7 years with my sister to prove that there was nothing else. I have been verbally abused by her and her husband, and also physically attacked by her in a vicious manner. The police came round and said if I officially reported it, I no longer have the choice not to press charges, as it is domestic abuse and they have to press charges now, - this would have implications for her job, so I we had an unofficial chat.
Now, she and her husband are about to be evicted (they live outside of London) and keep shouting at me for money. She keeps demanding I buy the quarter interest in the property. I'm not sure if that is possible (because of my father's life interest). They want it to get a deposit for a house. They rent a house beyond their means, and they want to continue to do the same. (A four bedroom with large garden)
Now they are threatening to move in to our two bedroom property. My father adamantly does not want this. They are loud and abusive towards him, and generally do what they want rather than respect that this is is home for the past 50 years! He told them in no uncertain terms- but they are the kind of people who will just turn up and move in.
Can they move in and make our lives a misery? Can I buy them out? Can my father sell anything to give them the money they need?
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Comments
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I would contact the police who dealt with things before and explain that she is harassing you and your father. If the couple try to move in, get the police involved immediately.
Your father shouldn't hand over any money to them - it will set a pattern and they will keep coming back for more.0 -
I agree 100%. It is a classic case of bullying. Even though they are family unless you stand up to them you will have endless problems. The culprits need to understand that you will press charges. Don't let them get away with it.0
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What are the terms of the right to buy(s) looks like your mothers 3 months may have lapsed.
That's what stood out.0 -
I assume that she is an executor to your fathers will too? Can he change this so she isn't - in the interests of making your future life easier.
I am not sure if you could get an anti harassment injunction against her, but it sounds worth investigating.But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,Had the whole of their cash in his care.
Lewis Carroll0 -
getmore4less wrote: »What are the terms of the right to buy(s) looks like your mothers 3 months may have lapsed.
That's what stood out.
It comes into effect upon my father's death as he has a life interest in the property0 -
Have your father re write his will leaving everything to you and leave your sister dependant on your good will and make it clear if she continues to harass you or your father there will be no good will towards her at all.0
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He won't do it. As much as he knows she's unpleasant he is very fair minded.0
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Is there a legal way I can buy out her quarter or half share?0
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I can't help with the legal stuff, just wanted to offer my sympathies. My sister put me under an immense amount of emotional pressure and blackmail to try and get more than her fair share of mum's estate. If it had been a partner doing and saying the things she did it would have been classed as domestic abuse.
I know it's horrible right now but you will come out the other side. Last year was absolute hell for me because of her, but I'm stronger now and doing far better without her in my life than I was before.
They say money brings out the worst in people, I think it's really their true colours showing through.
Best of luck with it all.Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.0 -
What are you getting out of this relationship? Some people are just poisonous for your wellbeing and I would cut her out tbh, insist your father sees her outside the home and tell her never to contact you again.
If your father doesn't want to change the will that is fine but at the very least he should remove her as executor and replace her with someone neutral or better yet just yourself, I also don't understand why you don't redraw the will to correct the mistake about 3 years vs 3 months?
I don't see that those changes will be unfair as she will still get whatever is written in the will, if you don't do it she will drag you through hell for her pound of flesh when the time comes, I know these kind of people we are in a similar dispute.
Also stop lending her money! If necessary limit contact for your own wellbeing.
So the short answer to your question is no she can't bully you out of anything unless YOU let her. Good luck!0
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