Omg!!! Help me

DawnW

Dozey_crow wrote: »

Hi Ian,

Please ignore the post from 'If I were a Welshman', it is not indicative of this board at all. I suspect it's a spammer or troll and have reported it. Others will do the same in sure. So keep posting and draw on the support you can find here!

I have reported it as well. Totally inappropriate.

Time_to_face_the_music

I 100% agree that If_I_Was_A_Welshman's post was totally inappropriate but for the level of income £275 per day = £71,500 pa, £30K of debt is not insurmountable and could be dealt with in a relatively short space of time. I think the comments could be related to this and the request to email Martin Lewis personally.

A lot more information is required, like a realistic picture via an I&E, is the marriage breaking down to financial difficulties etc. Ianf72 can you complete and post a SOA and give a better picture:

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

You need to format for MSE, then cut and paste the results into a post here.
People will be able to help you much more if they can see this.

TTFTM x

Patman_Post

Hello Ian,

I am just checking in with you and hoping things aren't quite as desperate this morning. Please let us know as you can see there are a number of people rooting for you. Lots of good advice on here. Unfortunately some not so good advice too. Please concentrate on the positive actions that have been suggested. and ignore the negative - if the comments don't help your situation then discard them as appropriate.

In my first post - I wrote that the £275 looked like contract rates. Simply because of the way you phrased it and said that this was arranged through agents. So on that note I thought that I would explain on your behalf on how this calculates into the final figure you see coming in to your bank account if I may....

Firstly, the headline figure stated shows an annual income of £71500. This is NOT the true figure as I will show now.

Firstly as a self employed contractor you will need to fund your own annual leave. Let us say that is 3 weeks a year. this brings the total down to £67375 ( 71500 - 3x1375).

Then you will need to pay the tax man his cut. I calculate around £16500 (never can work it out exactly) - this leaves you with £50875.

Then there is also NICs to consider (I understand this less than I understand tax!) But on my calculations at 15% - this will be a deduction of about £10000 a year - leaving you with £40875.

As a self employed contractor - you are likely to owe an accountant for working these figures out for you. Also - the agents you mentioned are probably not doing this for free. I am not sure how much they charge but lets say £2500 each a year. that leaves you with £35875.

Of course none of this takes into account your personal set-up. We don't know where you live or how many children you have. I have recently seen two houses on Rightm0ve that had practically the same specifications. One was in the South East of England and costs £380,000 and the other was in South Wales for £37,975. You see - all things are relative. But if we just consider the average price across all the UK which I just goggled as being £250,000. Say you owed £200,000 on this property. This would give you mortgage payments of £13,200 a year. This brings you down to £22675.

As you can see that headline figure of £1375 is fast diminishing. Now we are at about £436 a week. And this is before we consider the fact that as a contractor you do not have guaranteed work; also - as a contractor you would need to fend for yourself in times of sickness; also how many children you have; also, how much total debt you are in etc....

My point is that - we don't know your exact situation - but we do know that you are struggling. So please try to ignore some of the less thought-through comments on here and ensure you read the supportive ones.

I will say again - please go to see the doctor - it will help you tremendously. You can do this Ian. You really can.

in_need_of_direction

Wise words from patman. Best of luck sorting things out.

takingcontrolatlast

Hi Ian, There is some great advice above so take it.

My story is similar in that DH business went under, he became unemployed, marriage on rocks, upto eyes in debt and we still are. I totally understand the despair you are going through and it seems overwhelming. You are not alone in what you are going through. We both work now and whilst its still a struggle, the feeling of utter despair has gone and will do so for you as well.

Get you SOA on line and this site will offer you some help and point you in the right direction.

Not sure on the communication situation with your wife but have you asked if you can use her vehicle?

Im over £35k in debt and thats just me and my DH is about £20K in debt - we are working on our SOA as well.

You can and will get through this I promise; stay strong - best wishes.

triple_choc_chip

DawnW wrote: »

I have reported it as well. Totally inappropriate.

Me too, I can't understand why people bother to be hateful but in my opinion the reported post smacked of jealousy and that is such an ugly emotion.

OP, you are feeling very sorry for yourself at the moment and with good reason but remember that there is always another way to resolve problems other than what first seems obvious. You just have to calm down and concentrate / meditate / ruminate on it until it pings into your mind and then follow your instinct. Read the threads on here you will gather loads of information and inspiration.

There are positives in there - you are earning, you will almost certainly get a new contract, you have the means to sort this out, good luck.

northerner999

Although things seem desperate, there is a way out which resolves everything well.

Although your income is not secure long-term, it should give you more than enough to cover your minimum repayments, which is really all that matters while you get your head around things, and plan for your future whether or not it is with your current wife.

My reccomendation would be to speak to Samaritans, then a debt charity, who will be able to five you good advice. My view is keeping yourself sane right now is probably more important than making a plan to pay off the debt. Get your head together, figure out whether your future lies with your wife or not, then come to the debts.

The one thing to avoid doing if you can is spending more than is needed on credit. On the figure given above you should be able to eat, keep a roof over your head, make miniimum payments and, if you are not accruing more debt by over-spending, sticking a bit aside to help either

- deposit and costs for possible new living arrangements (rented or bought)
- funding a replacement vehicle if yours packs in
- clearing some of your debts if you find neither of those two expenses are needed.

You say you are finding it hard to meet the repayments, at some point I'd suggest going through an SOA page and putting in where your money goes. I found having the figures in front of me a great help in actually cutting down by motivating me to ring up companies to negotiate better deals or cancel. By posting the results on here you can also quickly pick up good personalised tips on saving money, or just looking through this forum can give good pointers if you don't feel you can share.

Willowpop

Ian, I can't add much advice beyond what has already been said, but I can promise you that no debt is impossible to overcome. Yes, it might look like a mountain, but with little steps you can climb it. Sorry to hear your relationship isn't in the best place, you guys will get through this together if the relationship is meant to be, and if not then splitting up is the right thing and both of you can move on...again, hard but long term probably for the best.
Speak to your gp, speak to step change, and speak to us on here...you are not alone, and you are far more important than your debt, so make sure you look after yourself first...anything else comes second to you.
Big hugs xxx

rockabillygirl

I just wanted to post my support for you and to reiterate willowpop's advice....speak to your GP and get in touch with Stepchange and keep posting - there is a huge amount of support for you here with good advice and very kind listeners who do not judge.
You can and will get through this. Stay strong and sending you positive thoughts and hugs x

On_my_way

Firstly Ian, you have made a step in the right direction.

In my opinion the first thing you need to do is:

* Get out a pen and paper (or computer) and calculate exactly how much you owe and to whom
* Study this forum and find ways to seriously cut your current (and your wife's) spending to maximise your income. It is amazing how much you can save when you have to. Often I overspend without meaning to - this month I have so far been able to survive on £75 including having to buy fuel for my commute to work (50 miles per day)

You will be able to get through this. You should call your creditors and set up payment plans with them. I would seriously advice you against a DMP because of your credit rating.

Good luck, we are always here. Most people here have made mistakes, suffered a range of circumstances and got through it - you can too

xx