Getting funeral expenses from my Dads separated wife

Rockape185

My dad died suddenly on Xmas eve. He was seperated for two years but not divorced from his wife, who is named as executor in a 1991 will. Leaves everything to her.

He was married to her for 26 years, with almost no contact with me and my two brothers. He had three step daughters.

His wife has asked me to organise the funeral, which I was happy to do, but as she drags her feet freezing his bank account, I am concerned i may end up significantly out of pocket and be lumbered with the bill.

None of them are willing to find any money to help.

The funeral director suggests just going to the bank and asking them to pay direct but if she doesn't freeze the account I can't see how this could work.

Any suggestions/advice please!

Torry_Quine

The person arranging the funeral is responsible for paying for it so be very careful here.

The bank account must be frozen immediately.

sulphate

Rockape185 wrote: »

My dad died suddenly on Xmas eve. He was seperated for two years but not divorced from his wife, who is named as executor in a 1991 will. Leaves everything to her.

He was married to her for 26 years, with almost no contact with me and my two brothers. He had three step daughters.

His wife has asked me to organise the funeral, which I was happy to do, but as she drags her feet freezing his bank account, I am concerned i may end up significantly out of pocket and be lumbered with the bill.

None of them are willing to find any money to help.

The funeral director suggests just going to the bank and asking them to pay direct but if she doesn't freeze the account I can't see how this could work.

Any suggestions/advice please!

Sorry for your loss.

Considering your stepmother is set to inherit your dad's estate (and presumably she is aware of this) I think it's very unfair of her to ask you to organise the funeral (and presumably she is also aware you would be asked to foot the bill).

Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it.

Sazzie23

IMO you should tell the bank about his death as it sounds like the account is still being used which it should not be. Maybe the ex wife is afraid her bills won't get paid and that's why she hasn't told them, but that's not the point.

Regards funeral, reiterate the person organising is responsible for payment so be careful.

g6jns_2

I know it is difficult but sometimes you have to play hardball. Tell his bank immediately of the death. That will stop the account being plundered. You have no legal obligation to pay for the funeral costs. Make this plain to the widow whilst explaining you are happy to assist in the organisation. As executor the widows is legally responsible for administering the estate and the funeral cost take priority.

BobQ

A bank will often pay the funeral account of a deceased person if requested to do so as it is a priority debt. That is they may pay the money directly to the funeral director. Whether they would do this in these circumstances I do not know.

TBagpuss

You can explain to the funeral director that you ill be arranging the funeral on behalf of his wife. Give them wife's contact details and ask them to send her anything which needs a signature.

[Deleted User]

g6jns wrote: »

You have no legal obligation to pay for the funeral costs.

You do, if you have arranged it and signed the FD's contract.

As executor the widows is legally responsible for administering the estate and the funeral cost take priority.

The executor is not legally bound to administer the estate.

They can decline and step down as executor.

Shelldean

Did you sign the forms at the funeral directors arranging the funeral?

As if you did then you and you alone are responsible for that Bill.
When Nan died the funeral directors told me not.once or twice but about six times that if I signed then I would be liable for the bill should there not be enough in Nana estate to cover the costs.
At the time I thought ok ok I heard you the first time. But looking back they were just trying to ensure I was aware of my responsibility by signing the forms, even in my grief.
I knew Nan had enough to cover the funeral if.nothing else so signed.