my mum wont leave a will

takingcontrolatlast

ive sensitively asked my mum to leave a will as she has a mortgage on her house. what concerns me is that my brother who lives with her is a guarantor for her and states he is on the mortgage although i dont think he is if he is only a guarantor. I am the oldest and NOK and bless my mum she has little debts and has no savings even for a funeral and i am dreading the whole situation. As I owe her money i offered to put it towards a payment plan for a funeral and pay for a will but she said no. I presume then that when the sad situation arises it will go to probate and I have spoken to my brother about it. He wants her to make a will as well.

Is there such thing as a free will? Will I be liable as NOK for her funeral costs and debts? Ive got my own debts and quite worried about this. Any advice?

Peter333

Will your brother not share the cost of a funeral? How much is the cheapest funeral? 2 grand(ish) ?

I remember when my neighbour's mother died about 5 or 6 years ago... she was 66 and he and his brother were 36 and 34, and because she was a pensioner with no money or savings (but she owned her house,) the funeral was paid for by the state. Don't know if it's still the same now.

Could you and your brother pay for her will between you if she doesn't want to pay for it. I doubt you will get one for free.

kidmugsy

You can't inherit debts.

You can buy a standard will form very cheaply - maybe there are free versions on the web. But if there are any complications then maybe a standard form won't do.

I hope another commenter will come along who knows more about it - if only to recommend a better MSE forum than this one.

jamesd

When a person dies most of the banks will provide a cheque to a funeral director using the available funds in savings or current account. So you would normally provide them with an invoice from the funeral director and death certificate then they would provide that cheque. They would not normally restrict this to the executor or any particular person because it's going to the funeral director and has first priority over all assets in the estate, including before debts or anything in the will.

With no will her children would normally get her estate equally divided between them. Since you owe her money that would reduce the amount payable to you by that amount. When there is a large mortgage and few assets the house would normally have to be sold to release the money to divide it properly. A family member who could get a mortgage could choose to buy it if they wanted to and if the other beneficiaries did not object to the price. The executor or administrator of her estate is responsible for ensuring that the price is fair, usually by getting at least three valuations.

Your biggest potential hassle is if your brother wants to continue living in the house but doesn't want to buy it or can't. He might then fight to be administrator of the estate and so on in order to try to stay there for as long as possible. Such things happen, I know of a case where one child is trying to stop their three siblings from inheriting because he wants to carry on living in the house even though there's a will that is clear that the split is to be equal.

Don't get a payment plan for a funeral. They are poor value for money. Funeral directors know that paying for funerals can be difficult at times and will offer finance plans. Whoever works with the funeral director will be the person liable to pay such a plan even though it is the estate that has liability for the funeral cost. The person paying can claim it from the estate.

Try to find out what she wants in the way of a funeral. Life's much easier for the person arranging it if they know what is desired, particularly the choice between burial and cremation and where it is desired to have any remains placed.

princeofpounds

Great post by james d but one modification:

Since you owe her money that would reduce the amount payable to you by that amount.

Actually, you would pay the money into the estate and then half would be returned to you, and half would go to your brother.

Obviously there are shortcuts to that process, just paying half direct to your brother, but whatever you do make sure it is agreed and recorded properly.

LHW99

If you can wait, many local solicitors take part in a scheme called "Will Aid"
Its usually around October / November, and provided things are not complicated, a will can be drawn up with you / your mother paying an amount to charity.
There is a suggested amount to pay, but if you / mum have little funds, then a lower amount could probably be agreed.
If you search Will Aid on Google it comes up, and you can register to be reminded when its on.

takingcontrolatlast

Thank you all so much for sharing that advice with me. Im in the process of paying mum back this year so hopefully that wont be a problem. There are actually 4 siblings and we have all agreed the house is for my brother as he lives with her (we are all married) and he is single but contributes to the running of the house. So there is no issue there - just dont want him to be homeless and not sure if he can get a mortgage but any assets are to go to him if house is sold and then he can move on. Ive talked to him and made him aware that he needs to take some responsibility. Unfortunately all siblings are struggling with debt so cant contribute to a will/funeral costs but i will speak to my brother again and see if he will split the cost of a will with me.

I didnt know about the funeral directors payment plan being like that so i appreciate your advice and will stay clear.

I feel sad for my brother as its going to affect him the most as mum wants everything left to him and if things arent sorted it will be a nightmare and he isnt strong enuf to deal with it.

Am i right in thinking that if there are not enough funds in mums bank to pay the funeral directors it will go to probate if no will and they pay the cost out of sale of house or does funeral cost go to NOK? Or if brother is named as beneficiary of will is he responsible for funeral costs, and if he hasnt got the funds what happens ... its too confusing!

Im so glad I can share this delicate subject as when ive tried with mum and brother I feel awful discussing it and mum gets upset especially as she isnt in best of health.

hcb42

You are not automatically next of kin as you are the oldest..

Whoever organises the funeral is responsible for paying it.

If there isnt enough money in your Mum's saving account, then the fairest thing to do is split it between you - assuming you don't want to leave it to the state (which I would never do personally, although is often advice on here)

My Dad didnt leave a will, and there were four of us too, it didn't cause any problems, straightforward house sale, under the IHT threshold, no complex family structure; and the sibling who took responsibility was the one who managed the financial matters, including funeral plan in his case, although I agree, they are poor value for money when the funeral was about £2.5K altogether.

If your Mum doesnt want to write a will, and there is a mortgage, then it will need paying off when the house is sold. If your brother can afford to buy it, that's ideal, as it should be quick enough to arrange a new mortgage in his name. Even if she has left a will, you are still going to have to put it on the market or have brother buy it, he cannot just take over her mortgage and keep paying it.

takingcontrolatlast

thanks hcb, i didnt realise house would still go on market nor that the person who arranges funeral pays for it and that it doesnt necessarily mean me. I didnt realise funerals were so expensive either! Thanks to you and the other members who have explained this for me.

greenglide

If she won't leave a will and it is agreed between the four of you that he is to get the house this can only be guaranteed of she has a will.

Otherwise any of the siblings could demand there share, as they are legally entitled to do which would make the wheels fall off big time.

Would the house, of which each will own a share, not, technically have been gifted to the youngest by each of you?

It is vital that she writes a will if this is what she wants to happen.

Agreements over money rapidly fall apart, particularly if all your siblings are struggling with debt!

kidmugsy

greenglide wrote: »

It is vital that she writes a will if this is what she wants to happen.

Agreements over money rapidly fall apart, particularly if all your siblings are struggling with debt!

They can fall apart particularly if there is a soon-to-be-ex-spouse hovering. A court might decide that someone can't just give away an asset to a sibling in those circumstances.