Do you keep your debt a secret?

raq

always keep to ourselves. My parents would have heart failure if they knew. They are very comfortable and would never understand. Quiet sad really

YORKSHIRELASS

raq wrote: »

always keep to ourselves. My parents would have heart failure if they knew. They are very comfortable and would never understand. Quiet sad really

Same here. My parents would be absolutely appalled and worried for us if they knew we had debts. They are in a position to help us out with our finances but I would never ask them.

And I am ashamed of the stupid decisions I made about money when I was younger. In some ways this is no bad thing because I know I have learned my lesson and never ever want to go back there.

So, no. No-one knows about our debts except us. Our teenage kids know we have some debts but not how much.

FireWyrm

It is not something that I have ever openly discussed, but then, I've never been asked. It's a bit like sex really...everyone does it and we all know it, but we just dont really talk about it. We are British you know.

However, I would have no particular shame in discussing the matter with a sufficiently close friend or family if they actually asked. We are in debt, like millions of others but it has lost it's stigma over the years I think. Years ago, you would have been shamed by an illegitimate pregnancy, but these days, we view such outmoded concepts as practically medieval. I had my first child outside of 'wedlock' although within a relationship that has endured for the best part of two decades and my father remarked at the time on the 'shame' of it. I felt no more 'shame' over that than I do over our debts. It is a fact and there is no use hiding it or pretending it isnt so.

mismatch

We are open about being in debt and struggling and now open that we are doing an iva (if they all agree lol) but no one knows our "magic number" nor do they ask. That's a number I'm happy keeping between me, oh, Stepchange and here as its anon.

busybumblebee

Mine is a secret from all. I used to discuss with a colleague as she was in a similar situation, but don't work together now. I'm like fromtheshires, me and oh have a joint account for the house, which is healthy and I sort my own mess out. He has never had debt and doesn't understand, so I don't tell him as he just shouts, which makes me want to rebel! I feel like I'm finally on the road to recovery and dealing with the root cause, rather than just the debt, so confident this will be the last time for me to hide!

Sazzie23

I think it depends what sort of relationship you have with other people.
If you discuss your private life with others you'd probably be comfortable discussing your finances too.

I'm not that sort of person, I do talk to friends about the fact that I have a high level of debt that I am making arrangements to repay and that I am ok paying all my essential bills but I am not able to fund expensive meals out etc.

For non close people if there is some reason, like they suggest a weekend away or other financial expense project , I just say something like, I'm trying to reduce debt/save for pension etc and leave it at that.
If I come across any colleagues who is having money trouble then I might point them in the direction of the forums or stepchange.

Oh and to be clear the only people who actually know about my DMP are my ex-Oh who I have joint debts with, and his family because he told them (pulls faces). On exOH knows level of debt.

Debtfree2018_2

Not a secret necessarily, but not something that comes up.
My partner knows that I have debt, but not how much., my partner is very good with money.
I would not openly talk about it to be honest

rokchik

Not any more.
I used to be all open and honest about it, told my parents what was going on, how much debt etc. Unfortunately we ended up losing our property about 10 years ago, mainly due to DH's handling of money, and my dad now has a very low opinion of him, which makes me sad.
Dad can't see how DH has worked really hard since, he just sees him as the '!!!!less' son in law. My sisters husband is absolutely loaded, which doesn't help.
So now, as far as family are concerned, we have no debt, except my car, which is on a PCP. In reality, we have about 9.4k outstanding, but are hoping to pay it off this year. :T

rokchik

Not quite sure why the word f e c k, (as in f e c k less), isn't allowed!

ratrace

rokchik wrote: »

Not quite sure why the word f e c k, (as in f e c k less), isn't allowed!

Sorry dont really know what that means is it something to do with financial education