The KonMarie method

tibawo

I'm at a bit of a stand still at this end... I think it is because half term is looming and I always hit a point where I just 'dump' things thinking I will sort in holiday. Consequently I spend all the holiday trying to sort but never finishing it and don't even do anything with the girls... Even taking them to the park!

However, I have sifted the post, shredded bits dealt with and put the junk mail in recycling so KD must be starting to alter my mindset.
Saying that, the minion bag with the rest of the surplus paperwork is eyeing me up... Might do that watching TV after all it's recycle collection day this week. So it will be gone!
Will check back later and see how you all are doing.

iQueen

Blue_Doggy wrote: »

I'm one of those who have been finding the Kondo Road emotional.

My recent lightbulb moment was to realise that a lot of the clutter was acquired as a disguise to hide the real me. The floaty romantic clothes, which never really suited me and my lifestyle gave me few opportunities to wear; the "must read" books which I didn't enjoy and maybe never even finished, etc.

Also not having much money to buy books when I was young meant that when I had more I bought books almost greedily. Those books had a purpose, though, which was to help heal the pain of insufficiency, and the ones which are not joyful can be thanked for giving me that comfort and sent on their way to help someone else.

I think, for me, a lot of the acquisition of "stuff" goes back to a perceived lack at more appropriate life stages.

However, shedding the disguise is hard, because it's got stuck onto real me and has to be taken off gently or I'll tear.

The whole lot of Stuff taken together has been either a place to hide in or a cloak of invisibility when life has been tough (sometimes both!). However, I can't stay in hiding all the time, and the road out is Kondo.

Because the Blue Doggy Kennel has got into a really, really bad mess (I've invited no-one in for two years), my most recent Kondoing activity has been to venture into the Areas of Doom with big boxes gathering the various categories together for dealing with, and making space in the garage to shift pieces of surplus furniture into until that can be assessed for joyfulness or otherwise.

Apologies for such a long post, and I hope that some of it is comprehensible .

Well done on the great start you've made, Blue Doggy. :jSadly, I don't have a garage so I'm working in small gaps, until there is some 'proper' space available. I sometimes use my bed as a sorting area, but it has to be clear at bedtime! :rotfl:

I identify with you completely!

My first LB was when I recognised that far from the state of my home leading to isolation, it was an unconscious, protective barricade

Shedding the disguise cannot be forced, in my experience. It chooses its own time to come off, when we are ready to handle it. Like a sticking plaster it comes off in stages, with sometimes long rests in between, because our minds have to examine, consider adjust and adapt (usually unconsciously) at each stage. It is often a big mistake to try to force the process. A good measure of the process, that I have found, is the regular LBs that occur along the way.

I certainly agree that kondoing is the way out, because it is positive and non-judgmental!

Apart from two trusted people, who are wise enough to understand, or not care, I have had no one in my house for over 10 years. So, you are not alone. I am sure that there others on here that have classed themselves as 'hoarders' as I have in the past. Most of us don't seem to fit that label, because whatever the state of our homes, we want to change it, and are prepared to undergo change ourselves. Of course, it may take us considerabley longer than others, unless we have boundless energy, like Mav! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Very best wishes for achieving the real you!

mrs-moneypenny wrote: »

Our council tip with the recycle bays has a bay specifically for vhs tapes. Maybe you could see if your local council offer that service.

Just in from work so gong to have a look In the kitchen and see if anything leaps out at me in an unjoyful way.

Gentle hugs to all who are finding the process of kondoing difficult and emotional.

I'm finding I'm feeling much lighter and happier as I shed possessions I'm not as far along the road as some of you but I'm sort of combining it with the art of brilliance by Andy cope and Andy Whittaker which is basically all about choosing to be happy and being a 2%er. Apparently only 2%. Of the population are up there in the tigger category of bouncing about with happiness and positivity. I will never be that far off the scale of it but I'm choosing to be happy with my lot and grateful for what I have and am now of the opinion that less is definitely more.

Thanks for the tip about tapes, I'll check it out. I also have boxes of CDs full of data to get rid of/destroy.

Ha ha! I'm continually casting my hawk-like eye around for 'what-the-heck' items.

I'm glad you are now rreceiving some joy from your surroundings. Kondoing brings me similar joy, but I've a way to go before my surroundings join in with the pleasure!

I'd often read stuff about 'choosing happiness'. How can we choose happiness when we aren't happy, I thought. But now I realise that we don't have to force ourselves to be happy, we just choose to open the door for it (metaphorically speaking!) By being prepared to be happy, and accepting that we can be happy is all that is required.:rotfl:

The benefits both anticipated, and some surprises, are coming, Konverts! :j

iQueen

I'm not trying to take over thread - honest! I've been waiting for an email for my lawyer, which means that I have done little that takes me far from the laptop (don't use wi-fi!)

CKgeordieinlondon wrote: »

Hi all

Happy to be back on the Kon Marie wagon.
A few years back I bought a parka from M&S. It was supposed to be waterproof but the first time I wore it in the I ended up soaked through and nearly had my phone (which was in the pocket) ruined in the process. It was a particularly heavy rain but still, I expected a £60 raincoat to cope. I had every intention of taking it back to M&S but never got around to it. Eventually it made its way into the “cupboard of out of season coats”


It was eventually replaced with a lovely lightweight waterproof from Peacocks costing all of £6.99. Unfortunately I left that at my mother in laws the other week so needed a short term replacement. So I pulled it out and I tried it on and it looked dreadful. I must have lost weight as it completely buried me.

So I asked the question “Do you bring me joy?”
The answer: “Of course not, I hate you. You don’t suit me, you’re not fit for purpose, you were a waste of money and a constant reminder that I should have returned you, but didn’t want the hassle”

Into the recycling it goes I hope they rip it to shreds

Who knew having conversations with your clothes could be so cathartic:o

I cracked up with this conversation! Brought me joy! Thanks!

tibawo wrote: »

I'm at a bit of a stand still at this end... I think it is because half term is looming and I always hit a point where I just 'dump' things thinking I will sort in holiday. Consequently I spend all the holiday trying to sort but never finishing it and don't even do anything with the girls... Even taking them to the park!

However, I have sifted the post, shredded bits dealt with and put the junk mail in recycling so KD must be starting to alter my mindset.
Saying that, the minion bag with the rest of the surplus paperwork is eyeing me up... Might do that watching TV after all it's recycle collection day this week. So it will be gone!
Will check back later and see how you all are doing.

Perhaps you can make appointments for half-term... smallish kondo jobs, or one big one broken down over several appointments?

But, definitely, make cast-in-stone appointments for fun with your girls. Nothing is more important to your happiness than them!

maryb

CKgeordieinlondon wrote: »

Hi all

Happy to be back on the Kon Marie wagon.
A few years back I bought a parka from M&S. It was supposed to be waterproof but the first time I wore it in the I ended up soaked through and nearly had my phone (which was in the pocket) ruined in the process. It was a particularly heavy rain but still, I expected a £60 raincoat to cope. I had every intention of taking it back to M&S but never got around to it. Eventually it made its way into the “cupboard of out of season coats”


It was eventually replaced with a lovely lightweight waterproof from Peacocks costing all of £6.99. Unfortunately I left that at my mother in laws the other week so needed a short term replacement. So I pulled it out and I tried it on and it looked dreadful. I must have lost weight as it completely buried me.

So I asked the question “Do you bring me joy?”
The answer: “Of course not, I hate you. You don’t suit me, you’re not fit for purpose, you were a waste of money and a constant reminder that I should have returned you, but didn’t want the hassle”

Into the recycling it goes I hope they rip it to shreds

Who knew having conversations with your clothes could be so cathartic:o

Sometimes you just can't bring yourself to thank something before you let it go - I know just how you feel. But would our Leader approve?:rotfl:

GreyQueen

I'm wriggling my toes and one of them is wriggling back at me through a hole in the sock. Said sock has been one of the half-dozen pairs on heavy rotation with the intention of wearing them up and getting rid, so I'm pleased that the things have finally worn very thin overall and gone holey. They shall be laundered then added to the rag bag which goes inside a chazzer donation bag, clearly labelled as Rag Only.

And this will mean that there is more room in my sock drawer, which is pleasing. Who knew that absences can be as attractive as presences? But I am certainly finding it to be so.

I constantly encounter the troubles which are caused by having too much stuff, or keeping it for too long. Keeping stuff past the lifestage which it was needed for, on the off-chance that you might revert to that stage again.

I see life as being like a series of incarnations. I'm not the same person that I was at 5, 15, 25 or even 35. Why, therefore, would I want to have the accoutrements now which I had at each of those life-stages? There soon wouldn't be room for the present and future versions of me and their Stuff.

VJsmum

GreyQueen wrote: »

I see life as being like a series of incarnations. I'm not the same person that I was at 5, 15, 25 or even 35. Why, therefore, would I want to have the accoutrements now which I had at each of those life-stages? There soon wouldn't be room for the present and future versions of me and their Stuff.

EXACTLY - exactly that! we change - I, at 51, am not the same person i was at those years, i have changed and my life has changed. At 35 i had two very small children, at 51 those children are now 18 and 16. It has taken me this long to discover that I am ALLOWED to change, give up on things, have different interests.

It's great!

GreyQueen

CKgeordieinlondon wrote: »

Hi all

Happy to be back on the Kon Marie wagon.
A few years back I bought a parka from M&S. It was supposed to be waterproof but the first time I wore it in the I ended up soaked through and nearly had my phone (which was in the pocket) ruined in the process. It was a particularly heavy rain but still, I expected a £60 raincoat to cope. I had every intention of taking it back to M&S but never got around to it. Eventually it made its way into the “cupboard of out of season coats”


It was eventually replaced with a lovely lightweight waterproof from Peacocks costing all of £6.99. Unfortunately I left that at my mother in laws the other week so needed a short term replacement. So I pulled it out and I tried it on and it looked dreadful. I must have lost weight as it completely buried me.

So I asked the question “Do you bring me joy?”
The answer: “Of course not, I hate you. You don’t suit me, you’re not fit for purpose, you were a waste of money and a constant reminder that I should have returned you, but didn’t want the hassle”

Into the recycling it goes I hope they rip it to shreds

Who knew having conversations with your clothes could be so cathartic:o

This made me grin a bit.

A few months ago, I was chatting on the phone with Mum. She was telling me that she and Dad had been shopping in another town and had got soaking wet.

This baffled me as they had recently treated themselved to very good quality Goretex jackets, to replace existing waterproof jackets which had lost the function and wouldn't stand up to a good soaking. So I asked why they hadn't been wearing the New jackets?

Ummm, because the Old jackets are still on the premises, and they are the same colour as the New, and on the same pegs. So they are easily confused with the New, and thus the Old were worn, and the folks got soaked.

Being of a logical persuasion, I discussed that perhaps the Old jackets could be chucked out, as they were clearly unfit for purpose. But they are effectively Good Enough in modest rain, or dry-but-chilly weather, so have to be kept. Or that would be Wasteful. And each excursion will have to involve a calculation of the probability and severity of precipitation, to select correctly between Old and New, with the perennial risk of getting the hold of the wrong one in a hurry.:wall:

VJsmum

I;m a bit like that

But i'm learning to not be

Lotti1982

iQueen wrote: »

One thing bothers me about kondoing...

So many people on this, and other, websites are buying more mindfully and paying/shopping less.

Is anyone doing something more mindful with their savings?

I've been lurking here for a while and kondoing has stopped me being a shopaholic and is saving me money. Today I decided to kondo a day at work each week when I return from maternity leave so I'm getting the most precious thing in the world, more time with my two little boys who won't be little for long.

iQueen

Lotti1982 wrote: »

I've been lurking here for a while and kindling has stopped me a shopaholic and Is saving me money. Today I decided to kondo a day at work each week when I return from maternity leave so I'm getting the most precious thing in the world, more time with my two little boys who won't be little for long.

The very best value that is to be had for your money, Lotti! You couldn't 'buy' anything better! :j