Feel trapped as a Carer

kittykat17

When I went back to work in June I looked into getting extra care for my father whilst I was working. He already gets 4 hours a week for personal care but I needed to increase this by approx 14 hours a week. I was quoted from £12-£16 an hour, using an agency you wouldn't have to worry about tax, ni, holidays, sick pay, etc. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford these rates on part-time pay for all the hours I needed but was able to pay for an hour 3 times a week just so someone would be here to prepare his food, etc. I'm lucky in that my niece lives quite close and is able to come in for an hour or so with her 2 year old on days that she doesn't work.

racon

kittykat17 wrote: »

When I went back to work in June I looked into getting extra care for my father whilst I was working. He already gets 4 hours a week for personal care but I needed to increase this by approx 14 hours a week. I was quoted from £12-£16 an hour, using an agency you wouldn't have to worry about tax, ni, holidays, sick pay, etc. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford these rates on part-time pay for all the hours I needed but was able to pay for an hour 3 times a week just so someone would be here to prepare his food, etc. I'm lucky in that my niece lives quite close and is able to come in for an hour or so with her 2 year old on days that she doesn't work.

Hey, I do wonder why it happens when if someone that lives alone, has been assessed by Social Services as needing 3 visits a day from a carer is getting visits timed at 15 mins each one. The guy had no family, no friends and lived a miserable existence generally messing himself and not able to get out of bed by himself.
I can then understand how an unpaid carer would feel trapped - who in all honesty after seeing that, would not feel torn to do the right thing.

fishybusiness

If you could find a reliable carer to support school run times, would that give you more a chance at going back to a career you enjoyed previously, or is it more complicated?

Hey, I do wonder why it happens when if someone that lives alone, has been assessed by Social Services as needing 3 visits a day from a carer is getting visits timed at 15 mins each one.

Afraid it is the way support services have become. Spent last two winters prior to this one going over to my exes to support her as she can't walk when it is cold - my children are her dependents...suffice to say the SS although wanting to be helpful were not due to rules.

racon

fishybusiness wrote: »

Afraid it is the way support services have become. Spent last two winters prior to this one going over to my exes to support her as she can't walk when it is cold - my children are her dependents...suffice to say the SS although wanting to be helpful were not due to rules.

Hey, thanks, what would have happened if you did NOT or could NOT have done that?
Personally unless you have been in this type of situation or seen it first hand, the general public have no conception of what happens behind the closed doors of a disabled individual.
I can fully understand the feelings of anger and entrapment that a carer feels.

Towser

feelings of anger and entrapment that a carer feels

By writing on here, I was hoping someone out there may have a solution (maybe they have worked a way out of the problem) as some people have already tried to untangle the problem.

There must always be a way even if it means compromising. What are the options? I am still staying positive.

reliable carer to support school run times

This is the problem and a vulnerable child who if anything did happen to them would not be able to communicate what had happened.

I am doing the right thing by staying at home with loved one at least I see more of them than I would otherwise - always staying positive.

fishybusiness

Our solution is to work from home. We have delved in to ecommerce, and buy and sell to make part of a living.

Allows us school run time, work time, and children time. Also, I still do voluntary work with ex offenders to keep my brain engaged and try to be part of the outside world.

Perhaps not ideal, and I absolutely agree with this way allowing more time with the children, being part of their school routine and feeling as though I am contributing.

Like you, I have felt trapped at times, a feeling that comes and goes. Getting out and being useful in the world helps a great deal.

Sorry I can't give any more ideas.