Frugal Frump to Fab - 2015

Rowan_moon

I'm awake at silly o'clock (3.30 am) and catching up on all your posts.

LL thinking if you and hope you are ok.

Indiepanda hope your plumbing is working soon and good result with it being covered by your insurance.

I have been stressed and in survival mode really.

My Mum had a fall in May and after hospital had a stay in a care home. Then last week the care home had an ambulance taker her to A & E again with breathing difficulties (she's 86 with angina, copd, visual impairment and had heavily smoked for 60 years ). They have closed the rehab bed she had in the care home so very uncertain what will happen next.

The hospital is in a different county to where I live, so spending lots of time driving and hospital visiting/ liaising with social services etc. Also decorating her bungalow in case she us able to get back there.
I'm exhausted and feel I know I look worn and frazzled :eek: Not a good look.

Ladies, give me a hand up onto the fabbing wagon

Very modest goals for August:

Reduce sugar in diet to one small treat a day (I love where I work but oh oh oh there are biscuits and cakes all the time)

Use Nutribullet to make green smoothie every day and take vitamins

Wear perfume every day - no problem with this one, I have done this since I was 15 :cool:

Book dental checkup and see how I can improve the look of my teeth

Have one day to myself to do mani, pedi, facial etc.

:happyhear thank you ladies for sharing all your fabbing and keeping it on my 'to do' list :j

Ellsbel

rowan I do hope you can find some time to take care of yourself - I think stress has such a huge impact on us and it can be hard to find yourself again when you've been through a period of worry and of giving all your time to someone else through illness/trouble/whatever - easier said than done but do try to allocate yourself a small window each day to do something for *you* - sorry I've no practical advice but I hope things get easier for you and your mum.
mamanI hope you get that phone sorted - I always find in these phone/gadget shops they're very good at selling all the high end stuff; not so much at telling you how to get it to work though!! I usually end up turning to google when I need help with these things; I generally always come across a solution to my tech issues that way!

rummer I love the goals - you'll be a knockout by the time your holiday comes around:)

Awake early today (5 am) I've been reading online newspapers and catching up on here - OH kindly brought me up a coffee.
I would really love to see the bottom of my ironing pile today - so much washing and ironing when there's no school/uni!!
So I won't be very glam but will try not to be too slobby.
I'm aiming for a good day food wise though, as yesterday was a bit of a disaster:(
Hope you're doing ok, lesson learned x

indiepanda

Some good plans ladies. I really need to focus and make some goals for the next few weeks.

I am going back to work on September 15th and the week before that I am hiking in Austria so will get some exercise but not much else that week. Though I will get organised and take my own snacks as the holiday company provide things like crisps and chocolate as well as fruit and I'd rather take something like oatcakes / nuts / protein balls / nak'd bars etc - bit healthier. I am sure part of the reason I am ravenous at dinner when hiking despite having eaten lots during the day is the day time food is a bit too heavy on the simple carbs.

I still don't have a fully working plumbing system. The guy the insurance company sent out can only do drains not anything that involves cutting into pipework. This meant he could only part clear the blockage because there isn't an access directly into the large drainpipe only into a smaller pipe going into it, so he could only get his small claw down the drains. He is going to tell them to send out a plumber to cut an access hatch into the main drainpipe, then he can come back out and put a large claw through the system. In the meantime, I can have a shower but the pipe he could go down was the exit for the washing machine and dishwasher which my plumber had cut into in order to stop the blockage pushing water into my kitchen, and he couldn't repair that as he isn't a plumber, so I can't do any laundry.

Fortunately I went out running this morning (bit over 8k but tons of hills - 127m of ascent, good views though) and my running buddy has said I can come over and use her washing machine if I need to - she's working from home because of the tube strike.

My fitbit broke a couple of weeks ago and the company agreed to replace it so the new one is coming this morning which is good - I do find monitoring my activity is good motivation to move more.

Kondo'd my large collection of scarves yesterday - spotted some in there I'd forgotten and found a few to add to the charity shop pile. Think will do my casual t shirts today - am sure there's some charity shop targets in there too.

Will do some pampering too - exfoliate and use a facemask whilst putting a deep conditioning pack on my hair

Main thing I need to do is get kitchen tidied up - got loads of cleaning products out as the cupboard had to be emptied to access pipework. Unfortunately it seems pipework has been put back slightly differently so I can't get the shelf back in - the holes for the pipe don't seem big enough. Will check I am not mistaken but if I am, I am not sure I own a saw I can use to fix that... have to check the tool box.

I also clear the fridge of anything that's past it's best (been out more than expected so some stuff has gone off - not very MSE I know) and get an Ocado order in to restock so I don't get tempted to go to the local cafe and spend more money eating out or order takeout. I made the mistake of having pizza with mozzarella sticks last night and the plumbing stress has clearly had an effect as I can usually have that much dairy in a day without an issue (am mildly lactose intolerant and it gets worse under stress), but within minutes my stomach was gurgling and I was dashing to the bathroom... Thank goodness it was calm by this morning - running with a dodgy tummy is not good.

Good luck to everyone with your plans x

lessonlearned

Good morning my dear friends.

I am sorry to hear that so many of us are struggling at the moment.

Indie - hope the plumbing gets sorted soon. I know it's not a life or death thing but it's making your life very difficult and obviously at the back of your mind is the question of money. At least you can relax a bit now knowing that the insurance company will pick up the tab for some of it - that is good news.

Rowan - I am so sorry to hear of the all the problems with your mum. It's a total nightmare isn't it........dealing with all the various healthcare bodies, trying to sort out good care for her. It's like wading through treacle. Its so stressful and I can imagine that you must be feeling utterly drained. Try and take some time for yourself when you can, difficult I know because at the moment I'm sure you feel that you are rushed off your feet, and then even when you do get a few minutes, you are worrying, fretting, trying to plan. It's impossible to,switch off.

It's like being sucked up into a vortex and having absolutely no control of what is happening around you.

Rummer - I like the idea of your holiday plans for next year. It sounds very doable. I have decided to do something similar. I have been looking at holidays for next year.....I'll keep you posted on that one.:rotfl: I know this sounds crazy because I know a holiday would do me the world of good but I'm just not ready yet. As mad as it sounds I don't feel well enough at the moment to get the most out of a holiday so im going to aim for after Christmas. Hopefully that will give me time to lose some weight and get fitter first.

So - to answer your questions - "how am I doing" - to be absolutely honest - not great. Let's just say a bit up and down, but basically just plain shattered. I tried making a to do list this morning, setting out goals and plans. In the end I just felt overwhelmed and gave up......:rotfl:

I think now really is the time for really breaking down that elephant.and just taking it one step at a time. I have got such a lot on and tbh I don't really know quite where to start.

I'm still pretty well tied up with my parent's cottage for the next week or so, my sister wants to do a ceremony with mums ashes and I'm dreading it, now is not a good time for me.

I know it sounds awful, but I just feel that I can't be bothered with it all at the moment. I feel that I need a "Greta Garbo" moment. I just want to be left alone........:rotfl:

I really need time and space to deal with the anniversary of my husband's death in my own way at my own pace and yet I'm having to deal with my dads house sale, mums ashes etc. I just feel like telling them all to take a running jump.......

I did go to Physio yesterday so am going to capitalise on that and make sure that I keep up a daily stretching regime to try and keep pain free and losen up a bit. the cross trainer has arrived and DS2 will set that up at the weekend. I just need to free up some space for it.

And then try and stick to the healthy eating and a bit of much needed personal fabbing.

Today I'm just going to have some me time......a face mask, a mini manicure, and then some tidying up and sort out a couple of cupboards.

B&&ts had my usual perfume on half price offer so I treated myself...plus stocked up on some cleansers etc on 3 for 2.

Ive organised the charity shop to,clear the big stuff from my parents house for next Wednesday so it's just a couple of tip runs and then give it a clean and then I'm done......

Ive just boxed up a lot of the smaller stuff, they can take that too. Ive decided to take all the "good" china, pottery etc to the auction house. I'm just going to keep a small table and some jewellery and that's it, the rest really can go. I won't have space for it, it's not really my taste or style, it doesnt bring me joy and it certainly won't bring mum back. My sister is really struggling to let go of mums things but ive found it surprisingly easy.

It's just "stuff", it doesn't bring solace or make grief any easier, so with both my husband and my mum Im just keeping a few little treasures and momentos and that's it

I'm still feeling very uncertain and indecisive about what I actually want, where I want to live etc. I really understand why everyone says not to make any major decisions for at least a year after bereavement.

I had a bit of a heart to heart with DS2 and he's more than happy for me to stay here for a while yet so Im just gojng to take my time. I'm just going to take a bit of breathing space rather than hurtle on to the Next stage. In the grand scheme of things another month or two isn't going to make that much difference.

I might even have that holiday first.

Gosh - just realised Ive written a blimmin essay this morning.......

indiepanda

LL - thanks for the supportive comments. My plumbing woes seem quite minor compared to what you are going through.

I think you are being very sensible not to be rushed into any decisions for the future and I think you're doing amazingly well to be doing so many things at once and taking time to look after yourself too.

When I get very busy at work everything goes to pot - which is why I am taking a bit of a break over the summer. I could definitely learn from you in remembering to look after myself at the same time as dealing with big issues. Logically I've always known that it's even more important to look after yourself when life is particularly hard - I tend to put all my energy into dealing with an issue - thinking I will look after myself when things get back to "normal" - but of course, there's always some sort of issue to deal with - that's normality, even if some are rather worse than others.

And you only have the strength to deal with them if you take the time to look after yourself - that's really what needs to come first. Ok maybe it's not essential to have pretty painted nails at all time - but good nutrition, plenty of sleep, a variety of exercise and some time to enjoy with loved ones - they're essential.

lessonlearned

You e hit the nail on the head, there Indie.

Please don't feel you need to play down your problems with the plumber. It's not a competition to see who's got it worse.........:rotfl:

Everyone has problems and their cross to bear at times.

I can well imagine how stressful it is for you. We once had a kitchen flood, a slow leak over several weeks - we came back from holiday to find devastation. It costs thousands to put right. Yes the insurance covered the damage but even so itvwas a total nightmare.

The insurance company insisted on their own nominated tradespeople who were absolute Cowboys, they even managed to break the glass door on my oven. It dragged on for months, shoddy workmanship, rude filthy untidy workers who treated my home as if it were a building site.

The oven door was the last straw so I insisted the insurance company send an Independent surveyor to inspect what they had done. He condemned the work and they finally had to give in and let me call in my own team to put it all back to rights. It took nearly six months and I was almost at screaming point.

Incomptent trades can do a lot of damage and it can be an expensive and time consuming process getting it all sorted out.

As for Fabbing and trying to care of ourselves when the going gets tough, well I came to,learn that it's crucial if we are going to get through it in one piece.

Of course I learnt the hard way.......:rotfl:

DD265

I really feel for you both LL and Rowan, I know you can find the strength you need to get through and we're all here for you *hugs*

My goals for August:

- Paint finger nails weekly
- Paint toe nails fortnightly
- Knit two cushions in August for our sofa
- Organise my new dressing table
- Gym/Swim/Run 3x per week (struggling at the mo with rubbish commutes)
- Track in weightwatchers app daily as I go
- Update YNAB daily
- End the month with >£100 in my current account

I have treated myself to some Vinylux nail varnish. I now have three colours, the top coat, a polish remover (my normal nail varnish won't cut it) and a cuticle remover. Plus some Solar Oil although I'm not certain I like it better than some Avon cuticle balm I have. I am pretty much getting 7 decent days out of them on my fingers and my nails don't look ruined when they come off.

I got my dressing table! We got a £75 prepaid credit card through from signing up with BT when we moved, and my parents gave us some money towards furniture as a housewarming gift so we got a few bits and the dressing table was reduced from £95 to £57 as a leg is damaged (barely noticeable). Just got to organise it carefully now so there are a few bits on/in it, but I'm not rushing.

In other news I am 0.2kg off losing 10kg. I am hoping to get my 10% card at Weight Watchers tonight.

The downside is my work trousers are now far too big. I went to Next - tried on the same style of jeans as I already own (Lift, Slim and Shape, Bootcut) in a 12 instead of a 14. Couldn't come close to doing them up. Why? Because they'd completely changed the cut with a lower waist. Same deal with the trousers - lower waist, added gaping pockets, narrower leg. Yes I could get them on but I didn't feel good. First time I've ever wanted to cry in a changing room. As I've had this problem before with Next, I've decided that I won't be shopping there any more.

OH saw how upset I was and said when I'm ready, we'll go to one of the big shopping centers and try on every pair of trousers in every shop until I find some that I like. He hates shopping :rotfl:

indiepanda

Well done on the weight loss DD265. Your OH sounds like a sweetheart. I don't think I would ever persuade my boyfriend to traipse round a shopping centre with me. To be honest I prefer to shop alone - often make hasty decisions I later regret when shopping with others.

It's so annoying when companies change the cut of their clothes. Levis did that multiple times when I was younger - would just find a cut that worked and it would get altered or discontinued before I bought my next pair. They probably still do, I just don't think they make them in my size - end up in M&S and Debenhams these days. Maybe if I keep up the effort I will get back to being messed around by Levis again!

verynewmoneysaver

Haven't been here for a while but just catching up. I know where you are coming from Rowan Moon. I had years of worry with my elderly parents. I found Carers UK an excellent website and forum which helped a lot. Now I've just got son and husband, neither in the best of health. Sorry you're feeling low LL but the anniversity of someone's passing is very hard. Been thinking a lot about my Mum who passed about this time last year. Had a burst pipe at weekend. Insurance took pictures on Monday but heard no more since. New kitchen cupboard and floor needed badly.

beluga

Hello everyone, hugs and high fives all round x

I haven't been on here for a while, not been doing so well. Ah well, must keep trying. I look awful, hair needs cutting and dying, nails need doing and my skin is showing the lack of effort I've been putting in lately.
On the plus side, I've been keeping busy! I finished my training course last week and start my placement (voluntary, with the local addiction recovery service) next week. That will be two days in the week and every other Saturday, and I already do two days with a mental health support group. I've started driving lessons Am nearing the end of my current OU module, need to register for the next one and looks like I'll have to do two to get my degree finished before my transitional funding runs out. Also waiting to hear if I have a place on a 15 week postgrad course in counselling. It's a good taster and if I decide to do a Masters in something like that I'll need the conversion course as my first degree is in English.
With all that going on I haven't made much time for myself or the house, so both are looking rather unloved atm! Got an OU assignment to do this weekend but hopefully will find some time for a bit of a pamper