He has to prove he doesn't live with me

ridingtherails

Hi all

I'm a single mum on benefits. I informed the DWP about a change of circumstances when I started dating a new fella. He doesn't live with me as he works in London full time and I only see him a couple of times a week, so he stays with me or I stay at his.
I was invited to a meeting last week, and the woman there stated that from their point of view he was living with me because he stays regularly, and she gave me 7 days to either move him in, which is impossible at the moment because of his work, or I have to end the relationship. If I don't do either of those things then I will lose all my benefits, and he cannot afford to take over at the moment as he's training and already paying rent with family somewhere else.

How can I prove that he doesn't live with me? I can't get a tenancy agreement from him because he stays with family.

Help!!!!!

Penny-Pincher!!

If what you're saying is true, then you have nothing to worry about and there would be plenty of proof that he lives elsewhere. You have the electoral roll, CRA's, bills or bank accounts at his home address, a sworn legally signed letter from his parents to state this, what address is stated on his work offer of employment which he would of signed and dated.

Mojisola

The DWP can't make you end a relationship.

Where does your new man have his post delivered? Is he on the electoral roll anywhere?

Does he pay towards your household?

pmlindyloo

What exactly did you say when you informed the DWP of a change of circumstances?

You certainly do not have to inform of a change of circumstances if you just start 'dating' someone. You only need to inform them if he moves in.

I also find it very difficult to understand how someone said you move him in or you end the relationship!

You do have a right to date!

So, what to do now?

His parents can write a letter saying that he is living with them and pays 'rent'.

Is he registered on the electoral roll where he is living? Are his bank statements registered to his parents' address? Any of his insurance documents? Basically evidence that his address is elsewhere.

What about your bank statements? I am presuming he isn't giving you any money on a regular basis. Ditto the utility bills/council tax is in your name only?

Hopefully others can help. Never come across this before, sorry, where the claimant has reported a change of circumstances when they shouldn't have done so.

PasturesNew

How long have you been dating him?

maas

Take his documents in which prove he lives somewhere else?

Poppie68

It seems you have muddied your own waters by informing them you have a new boyfriend, they didn't need to know unless he moved in with you. It sounds like it's translated its self onto their system as a' live in boyfriend'.

He needs to gather as much proof as possible of his residing with his parents and pass it onto you, it's you that needs to do the proving.

pmlindyloo

Useful link;

http://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/money/benefits-and-livingtogether-html,177,FP.html

Note the use of driving licence and car registration documents as a change of address is legally required so is good evidence.

Josey19861

I have just read your post and decided to join a forum for the first time.
You are allowed to date, do they expect you to stay single for the rest of your life? If thats the case then we should all be single for the rest of our lives too, in other cases does that mean we have to phone these governing bodies up every time we have a date or just seeing someone. What if the relationship goes wrong? Then you'll have to start the whole process again. Can you imagine the money situation, up and down, don't no weather you're coming or going. Really you shouldn't have said anything, but we all learn by our mistakes and its the honest ones that are doing right gets peanilised.
If you pay all the bills and everything in just your name like the tennancy agreement then you'll be fine.
If I was you, I'd make a complaint about this person that told you to end the relationship as I believe they acted in an unprofessional manner, they cannot force you to tell someone to move in just because they think your in the wrong, once again thats unprofessional, possibly against your rights too? Also complain to an ombudsman that can deal with this matter and if they stop your money then they are making matters worse for them selves.
Hope this helps

ridingtherails

Thank you all for your replies

I was advised by the agent who handles my case with the job centre that it would be classed as a change of circumstances but as he doesn't live with me or pay any bills it shouldn't affect my claim. Obviously that hasn't been the case. We've been dating since July, but I've known him for over a decade, and only now were we both in a position to make a relationship.
I will get him to gather his driving licence, log book and insurance documents, his council tax bill and electoral register letters, plus any contracts and bank statements. I really hope that will be enough to satisfy them.

ridingtherails

missapril75

ridingtherails wrote: »

He has to prove he doesn't live with me

Also, remember that if they believe you do live together then it's for them to "prove" it.