I am debt free nearly !! but hubby has secretly run up debts! help

roberts516

Hi All,
After several years of debt myself and taking advise from moneysaving etc which saved my life .I cut down on everything , and I mean everything. I now have manageable debt (£23,000 down to £4,00)and credit rating good (although this time I ignore the bank when they say I can have a £10,00 loan !)
Anyway I have now just discovered why my husband is not sleeping and generally his happy self ,DEBT . He is in work and I have noticed his un opened post in his draw . Rather a lot bless him . Have I done the wrong thing , by opening all his post , done a break down of how much !! arrears . He is in serious debt . I have done figures etc and figured he can pay it but like I had to cut down on everything . I mean everything . It will take him a few years . I am willing to help with one debt and write some letters etc for him ,but no more than that . The rest he is just going to have to knuckle down like I did .
When he gets home at 6pm he will be angry with me and probably wont speak to me . However I am trying to advise and help and I will be calm . I feel bad but glad I now know the truth and found it before it gets worse.
Anyway my main question is , he has a Barclaycard and the payment date is the same as his car loan (which is much bigger than he led me to believe) What address do I write to to get this date changed and perhaps after posting them a statement of earnings a reduction in interest . I cannot find an address to write to for any help . Anyone could help I would be grateful although hubby is going to feel put out hay but that's life through thick and thin (although he will have a thick ear when he gets home !! Thanks again folks

whitewing

Congratulations on your huge achievement.

Good luck with hubby tonight, but don't forget that it doesn't sound like he has had his LBM yet (hopefully it has been flickering). He may feel worse if he thinks you are taking over, even if you mean it kindly. Perhaps make the offer but let it be his decision.

PeacefulWaters

I think you need to establish what he's spending the money on. Is it just the car?

You might have bigger problems than finding an address for Barclaycard.

StrawberryJam132

Hi roberts516

I agree with whitewing and PeacefulWaters. Encourage him to face/explain the root cause, and then offer your help. Let it be his decision though.

Good luck, he'll thank you in the long run.

Tryingtomoveout

Hi,

I know the feeling of finding out your spouse is in debt - but at the same time I can understand why he would hide it from you. It's good you've found out, and bringing out in the open will deffinitely force him to face up to his problems.

I can't really help with your questions but I do wish you the best of luck.

dresdendave

roberts516 wrote: »

Hi All,
Anyone could help I would be grateful although hubby is going to feel put out hay but that's life through thick and thin (although he will have a thick ear when he gets home !!

It's important that you talk to him but assaulting him is unlikely to help. If your comment was in jest then I must say I am shocked to find that you consider domestic violence as something to make jokes about.

roberts516

Hi Guys,


Thanks for the advise I will tread carefully . Although he is a stubborn man , but that will not solve his problems bless. I am on the ball found the address I needed . Drafting a letter for him as he is not too good at letters or paying his bills !! I have no idea how he managed this . His bank apparently have given him £1,00 overdraft !!! and looks like they have increased a loan he had with them also !! that makes me mad . They obvious knew he was in trouble and have only increased his debt !! but I should know ha ha . Sorry I can laugh but 4 years ago I was crying most of the time . He certainly has not had his LBM . I remember mine very clearly . I just hope he does soon . x Thanks guys will let you know how he takes it .
I am mad at him but can understand how it happens and perhaps why he is keeping quiet about it. I am quiet stressed trying to help organise my mum,s funeral on Friday but I am made of strong stuff and will do my best for both Xx

roberts516

Hi Dresdendave,
I do apologise I was only joking but take your point .

StrawberryJam132

Good luck and take care roberts516. Focus on yourself this week, the debt won't hurt being left until after the funeral. My thoughts are with you.

roberts516

Thanks Strawberryjam 132 I will leave it until after Friday but need to gently discuss a few things with hubby tonight . Some arrears have to be paid tomorrow so we sort that out and take it from there. X

tell_it_how_it_is

dresdendave wrote: »

It's important that you talk to him but assaulting him is unlikely to help. If your comment was in jest then I must say I am shocked to find that you consider domestic violence as something to make jokes about.

You missed the smiley off. Surely?

OP, maybe as SJam suggests you'd be better off for your own sake discussing this after the funeral? (sorry for your loss).