Moving Mum in with us

smallzoo

First, both my wife and I have looked after my grandad (he was 98 ), my grandma(102) and my dad(92) over the years.

My mum is now 91 and is in good health but she was getting lonely and I was seeign her 5 days a week anyway. She asked if she could come and live with us. Our whole family said yes so we have put her bungalow up for sale ( £120k sale price ) and she has moved into our spare room. We have a plan in place to convert one part of the house to an proper independent annexe with bedroom en-suite shower etc, lounge/diner and small manageable garden.

We estimate with alterations to our house as well ( internal work ) it will cost around £50k. She also wants to give us £30k towards our mortgage. We in turn will obviously help be here to look after for the rest of her days however many days that is.

Our intention is NEVER to put her in a home but if she did need specialist care in the future there seems to be so many articles on the web about deprivation of assets for fees that we are a little worried by looking after her we will be opening a can of worms in the future.

Is there anyone that can give us some advice. She loves being with us and I made a promise I would look after her so I want to make sure I can do that but at the same time protect my own family

Thanks

Jagraf

I am not an expert, but the first thing that springs to mind is if she needs specialist care and you can't cope. If she does, then the government will look at using her assets which could include the money she's given you for your mortgage, which could put you in a difficult position.

I think Age UK may have quite a lot of information on deprivation of assets, it might be worth contacting them (for other help too).

Instead of a separate annex, could you convert someone more cheaply so she retains the money. Just in case?

I'm not sure on the legalities, but could one of you become her carer?

TBeckett100

What about when she dies? Hate to be blunt but are there siblings that may be looking for their share only to find the bulk has gone to improve your property? Of course this isn't your motivation but it is deprivation of assets and you may either have the local authority or siblings wanting a piece of the bungalow.

That said, you may want to consider moving to an offset mortgage and putting 30k into that. If mum dies and you are due the money then you can just repay the mortgage. If care needs increase you have money for it and you should be in no worse position

Finally not knowing your age but assuming you are at retirement or near to it, if you do need a lump sum, then equity release may be your answer, but as you can guess, anything that involves third party money being plowed Into your home is more likely to destabilise your home life whilst she remains alive. I would personally keep cash in her bank and play it safe

pmlindyloo

What I would be inclined to do is an extension on your house - downstairs en suite and large bedroom/sitting room rather than building an independent annex.

This way would mean that you had increased the size of your house and it would remain part of your home. The value of your home would increase and you could then sell when you needed to.

Building an independent annex would be much more costly/open to possible problems with future council tax banding/selling in the future.

As regards the costing of this, would it be possible to re mortgage and then your mum pay from her pension to cover the extra monthly cost?

Your mum would then be left with sufficient savings to cover the cost of any future care/divide her assets between other family.

Doing it this way would mean that there is absolutely no question of deprivation of capital, you gain from upping (hopefully) the value of your home and the family share some inheritance.

Errata

Given your mum's advanced age and her wish to live with your family, it would seem the solution is for her to live as one of the family, own bedroom and sharing everything else.

Callie22

My parents have an annexe where my grandparents used to live. Now that they're no longer there, it's become something of a pain in the backside in terms of having its own council tax banding. My parents are also trying to sell and the annexe putting lots of people off. What I would say is that if you're thinking of going down the annexe route then make sure that you could easily turn it into part of your house, rather than building it so that it's completely separate.