my husband won't add me on his deeds! need advice!

Hi everyone I just wondered if you can give me some advice as I am not sure what to think! Basically my hubby is from abroad and owns an apartment in his home country. He's moved to the UK and been living for with me for here for the last few years. We have a house together here and my mum gave us money for the deposit. We are both on the mortgage with a 50/50 split. He recently said that he may sell his apartment and get a buy to let property. He however won't put me on the deeds for this as he inherited the money from that property before we met and it's just his money. I'm not bothered about the money side despite what it may sound like I just feel a bit hurt he obviously feels we may break up! I know if it was over here I would be entitled to half anyway but as it's abroad I won't be! If I'm being unreasonable please tell me!
Thanks very much.
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Replies

  • ThrugelmirThrugelmir Forumite
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    If you are married. Then all assets come into the pot should you divorce. So have no concerns.
  • SparxSparx Forumite
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    So the property was purchased before you appeared on the scene for him, and you made no investment into the house. But you want to be on the deeds and get a cut from it?
  • Yes I guess it sounds bad but my mum put a large deposit down for our house and now he can take half of that so I felt he should put me on the deeds too! Maybe I'm wrong.
  • patannepatanne Forumite
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    It doesn't sound bad at all. What he is in effect saying is that "I am happy to keep all of what was mine and also half of what was yours (your mother's contribution)". What about a legal agreement to pay back your mother if the house is sold?

    This is going to sound racist but really isn't. The problem is that different nationalities have different expectations and normal practices and is why a relationship can be more challenging because people often don't understand each others ground rules.
  • LEPLEP Forumite
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    I find this sort of thing odd. You have both made a committment to each other yet he won't commit what he owns to this partnership.

    I owned and rented out a house bought before I got married. I sold it this year and ploughed virtually all of the equity into reducing the mortgage on the house I bought with my wife. I didn't even think about any sort of legal arrangement to say the money I paid off on the mortgage was all mine should we split up.

    We are married, what is mine is hers and hers is mine.....
  • C_MababejiveC_Mababejive Forumite
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    Your mother put a wad into the purchase of your house. Was that legally registered or has she effectively lost that money?

    The property your husband owns in another country is his and his alone to do with as he wishes.


    The law and customs in other countries is not the same as the UK. Even in Euro countries, for example Spain, it is the norm for assets held before marriage not to be considered marital assets.
    Feudal Britain needs land reform. 70% of the land is "owned" by 1 % of the population and at least 50% is unregistered (inherited by landed gentry). Thats why your slave box costs so much..
  • This is why I would never get married, what is mine is mine what is my partners is my partners and what ever we choose to share we do. I think it is no longer acceptable to just assume everything is split down the middle within a relationship
    "talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish" - Euripides
  • duchyduchy Forumite
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    This is why I would never get married, what is mine is mine what is my partners is my partners and what ever we choose to share we do. I think it is no longer acceptable to just assume everything is split down the middle within a relationship

    Then they aren't really your "partner" in the true sense of the word -you are just two people in a transient relationship. Marriage is a contract for people who desire a full partnership. If you don't want that then marriage isn't right for you -so your attitude is the correct one -for your circumstances.

    It is nothing new as you appear to think -the marriage contract hasn't changed just the social acceptability of cohabiting without marriage.

    OP is this new property in the home country or over here ?
    If it over here it doesn't matter whether your name is on the deeds or not as it would be considered a marital asset regardless.
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  • robatworkrobatwork Forumite
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    What Duchy said.

    You aren't really married, at least not in his head. Sorry to put it so bluntly.
  • duchy wrote: »
    Then they aren't really your "partner" in the true sense of the word -you are just two people in a transient relationship. Marriage is a contract for people who desire a full partnership. If you don't want that then marriage isn't right for you -so your attitude is the correct one -for your circumstances.

    It is nothing new as you appear to think -the marriage contract hasn't changed just the social acceptability of cohabiting without marriage.

    OP is this new property in the home country or over here ?
    If it over here it doesn't matter whether your name is on the deeds or not as it would be considered a marital asset regardless.

    We do everything a married couple would do but don't split our wealth down the middle simple as that and we don't need a relegious ceremony and a piece of paper to prove it to other people. marriage has no purpose imo
    "talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish" - Euripides
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