please help

skintmum2012

Hi everyone we are a family of 5 me and hubby then we have a 6 year old a 4year old and a1 year old and then a cavalier king Charles and we seem to have badly lost our way and be sinking into a pile of debt we owe on our overdraft our credit cards a car loan and to beat all of this we need to be saving for a house as we are in a 3 bed with children who can not possibly share due to special needs. I am have been really low latly and I have being spending money like its going g out of fashion. I know you fantastic lot are brilliant at making the penny's go further and was hoping you may we able to give me some advise on where to start at the moment I feel I am at the bottom of a really big black hole with no way out.

NewShadow

Have you done a budget?

i.e. listed all your income and outgoings to see what's left for food and everything else?

kacie

Have a look at the debt free board, but what does your family like to it, can you go down a brand on products?

McKneff

Try doing one of these.


http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

skintmum2012

Hi we already eat budget food basics I just don't see the point in buying the brand names when basics taste the same. We do however get to many takeaways. I have just sat down and worked out a budget that should be very do able. My problem is when I get down I go out and spend a fourtune n stuff we don't need and I am really struggling to stop.

Upsidedown_Bear

McKneff wrote: »

Try doing one of these.


http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

When you have done it I'd suggest posting it on the Debt Free board

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

Mint1955

Straight to a doctor and tell him or her exactly what you have told us. Depression comes in many guises and one of them is the out of control spending when in debt etc.

There is a famous saying.....

"If you keep on doing what you have always done. Then you will keep on getting what you have always got."

So make a change today to walk towards what you want. Visualise it see it plan it then stick to it. Many ups and downs will happen but each time just start again on the path towards that goal.

Start a budget sheet covering everything for the year then divide by 12 for monthly. Look at the monthly income from all sources and see where the hole is. Then you can start juggling things you can spend less on or maybe categories you could do without for a while.

Look at every outgoing and think about is there a cheaper way, can I not have this at all etc.

If you have loans, cards or overdrafts then see if you can get the interest payments stopped for a while.

If it's all too much then contact step change and ask for their free advice.

NewShadow

skintmum2012 wrote: »

Hi we already eat budget food basics I just don't see the point in buying the brand names when basics taste the same. We do however get to many takeaways. I have just sat down and worked out a budget that should be very do able. My problem is when I get down I go out and spend a fourtune n stuff we don't need and I am really struggling to stop.

Why do you get takeout?

If i try and cut my budget too far, i get bored with my food and tempted by pizza. A reasonable compromise for me is a pack of jaffa cakes in the cupboard and 2 mini pizza's in the freezer. I can eat them in a month, if i want to, and not feel guilty. I know they're there, so am less tempted by take out.

Alternatively, are you getting take out mid week because you don't feel like cooking after work? Frozen home made ready meals or more slow cooker (so you come home to hot cooked foods) might be the answer.

Or is it the type of food? do you normally eat quite traditionally, but sometimes crave a curry or Chinese? Maybe spend a bit of your budget on spices for the cupboard and frozen bits to make it more takeout like - frozen naan or spring rolls can be quite cheap, and a stir fry chowmein or veg curry can take 20 minutes all in.

If you try and change unwanted behaviours without looking at the underling reasons, nothing will change.

Take it slow, mini goals so you can feel good about success, and maybe keep a note of when and why you do something - how you felt, what you did that day, maybe even how much sleep you got with the 1yr old. See if you note any patterns.

You'll do fine.

camelot1001

skintmum - You've crossed the biggest river by identifying the problem.

Apart from doing as the previous posters have advised, try to find some things to do at home so that you don't have to go out to the shops. This should help to break the cycle of spending.

Check all your cupboards and freezer to see what you have in stock and plan your meals around this for now, then when you have worked out your budget you can buy accordingly.

If you are out and about and are tempted to buy ask yourself if you 'need' it, if you do, can you 'afford' it (as said by Martin himself).

I wish you luck, let us know how you get on.

BigMummaF

Hello SM..I am in no way an expert or professional in finance, but there are plenty here who are & will be along shortly. Until then, I suggest you find a quiet corner somewhere, settle yourself into a comfortable chair & take a deep, calming breath.

Have a look on the Benefits boards to see if you're claiming the things you are entitled to. It doesn't cost anything to ask questions so consider making a list of 'em to ask when you visit your citizens advice centre.

Would your children's GPs, schools, specialists etc, be prepared to write to your local authority about finding a better solution for your housing issues.

There's a lot of threads here giving good ideas for easy, cheap but very tasty recipes including vegetarian, low fat & many other special requirements. Look too, for threads with unbelievable ideas to use up leftovers, like using your potato peelings to make healthy alternatives to crisps ..have a wander on the monthly Grocery Challenge Recipe Index too!

Search out the Prepare for Winter threads for help in saving money on heating & things, & even more threads on clever & individual ideas for crimbo decorations & gifts.

Could you start a group with your friends to share toys, clothes, baby equipment, baby sitting etc

Is there a credit union in your area where you could go for advice.

Whatever you do, please know you're not alone in this situation--far from it, sadly--& you will always find someone on here who can, at the very least, offer a sympathetic virtual shoulder to lean on, while pointing you in the right direction..
Good Luck x

skintmum2012

The take aways are because I am shattered if it was just me a plate of pasta with grated cheese would be fine but no one else would eat it.my son is autistic so needs a lot of extra input and my daughter is showing signs of special needs and is only on part time schooling so its very hard to get into the kitchen to cook as they need almost 24 hour watching my daughter is home by 12 by the time I have tidyed done washing and looked after baby its time to go and get her then she needs a constant eye kept on her hense all the take always.