Is this a good idea for a hamper present?

maroon_jelly

Hi all,

Il try and get straight to the point. I don't have much to do with my dad but I always go and see him at christmas with a present. He's in his late 50s and was laid off as a builder a few years ago, now finding it hard to find work because of his age. I know he is really struggling financially and has a lot of debts.

So... I feel guilty wasting money on a expensive after shave set or similar for his christmas present. Would it be offensive if I made a hamper of basic food things? Like tins and preserves.

sparrer

I think it's a lovely idea. I've done this for a relative in the past and it was very much appreciated.Y ou could add a few luxury bits to make it extra special but the staples are the most important things.

cazpumpkin

It depends on how proud or prickly he is. He might get quite upset and think you are mocking his poverty and reduced circumstances if you dont previously have a lot to do with him the rest of the year, he may think youre having a laugh at his expense.

Would it not be possible to ask him and explain genuinely that you know he is having a tough time recently and would he like a food hamper?

I would advise against giving him an unannounced food hamper or it may come across as an food parcel/food bank type effort.

PasturesNew

It depends on the person. My sibling got an expensive hamper of foods for my parents one Xmas. It all got binned some years later, untouched and uneaten, as the contents were middle class.

Does your dad, an ex builder, really like "tins and preserves"? It's all a bit twee/middle class sounding.

He'd probably prefer some tinnies, or a bottle of the hard stuff - and maybe chuck in some Lynx and socks.

JournalGirl

We give our neighbour a hamper every year. He lives on his own, but always has his brother in law and his daughter's family at Christmas. It was our way of giving a present 'to the house'.

We make our own up with things we expect he will like (as I thing the bought ones are a complete rip off and full of stuff you wouldn't buy). Every year he gives us the empty box back 'ready for next year' :-)

I think it's a nice idea - just don't fill it with aldi's baked beans - buy things which look like a bit nicer

emg

I think it is a tricky one,you need to make it look like a gift rather than groceries. Sometimes you can get away with this by making it like a theme - 'dad's night in' or something - a dvd he likes, some bottles of beer, and some stuff to make the type of meal he might eat (like some nice pasta and a jar of sauce, one of those casseroles that you can buy in the soup aisle in pouches or one of those pies that come in tins)

At times I have been short of money i have really appreciated nice things that I cant really afford rather than people buying me things that I would buy myself anyway. It's the things I might buy when I have a bit more spare cash but cant justify when short. Nice toiletries rather than supermarket ones, a new jumper, biscuits, chocolate, bottle of booze, etc. They still save me money in the long term but dont feel quite so much like handouts.

minimad1970

I do something similar every year for my brother, I always ask "do you want a box of goodies again this year" and he always does. I buy him nicer versions of what he would buy himself, along with some flavoured vodkas and homemade honeycomb. It's lovely to have luxury items but sometimes people are grateful for every day items.

pertgave

maroon_jelly - I think it is a lovely idea and it shows that you care and have thought about his situation.

When well being and friendship become more important than material goods, then the way presents are selected changes, too!

lucystardust87

Think it's a lovely idea, just keep the focus on things he'll definitely use. And I like the other posters idea of presenting it as a gift rather than a food parcel. Just keep in mind what he likes eating and maybe get fancier versions, e.g a good brand of tea, some fancy biscuits rather than just digestives etc.

BirdSeed

Sounds like a great idea, I like emg's suggestion of a themed hamper.
Let us know what you choose to go for and what your dad said after Christmas. x

CACHAF

It does sound like a lovely idea and i am sure it would be appreciated but it might be nice to get something 'luxury' instead. We have had major financial problems for a few years now and I look forward to getting things at Christmas that i would never dream of buying like toiletries, new socks, little oddments that make me feel 'normal'.

Although a food hamper is great and very practical sometimes we all just need a break from poverty and feeling completely broke and some chocolate and fluffy socks makes us feel human again.