Failed relationship with child finance

aqueoushumour01

Hello. Looking for some advice if possible on my situation. I have recently separated from my ex partner after her infidelity. We have a 3 year old and live together in a house I own myself. To date I've paid everything as she has not been in full time work.

Accepting id never have custody of my daughter, and wanting to ensure our split does not cause any more upheaval for my daughter than there will be already , I have offered for them to stay in the house at my cost. She wants to pay me rent but has no savings and little money. In truth, Some rent would help me finance my own place but I'm not sure how this could work.

In theory could I turn my house into a buy to let, put in place a formal tenancy agreement and either market or below market rent, with ex perhaps entitled to housing benefit on account of low earnings and I would top up the rest effectively to myself (well the bank?). Any help or advice much appreciated.

GobbledyGook

As far as I'm aware you cannot claim housing benefit if the landlord is the parent of a child who lives with you.

Also to claim housing benefit you'd have to have a proper tenancy agreement, charge market rent and be prepared to evict if you would any other tenant. Anything other than that would be a contrived tenancy.

Caz3121

as post above, this would not work on 2 levels

Parent of the tenant's child
You are not entitled to housing benefit if your landlord is the parent of a child who normally lives with you.

Renting from an ex-partner
You are not entitled to housing benefit for a home you rent from your ex-partner if you both used to live there together.

RAS

I would suggest asking on thre housing forum and the benefits forum.

Your ex can claim Income support and CTC in her own name if you can prove that you have separated, even if you are both in the same house at the mo.

aqueoushumour01

Thanks for advice, I can see why they don't allow that.


It would seem then that she could potentially pay me below market rent either informally or formally. I presume if former she could in future claim that she paid toward the house and therefore claim some right to it and plus I would be in breach of mortgage terms. Therefore for my own protection i need to have a tenancy agreement and permission from mortgage provider. Is this right?

Another option I can see is if I offer to pay towards rent of a really nice place close to school where daughters hopefully going where she would be able to claim housing benefit as I would not be owner. Then I sell the house and find somewhere else (or stay). Not my preferred option as my daughters settled but I wonder if that could be an option if needs be?

Mojisola

aqueoushumour01 wrote: »

Accepting id never have custody of my daughter, and wanting to ensure our split does not cause any more upheaval for my daughter than there will be already , I have offered for them to stay in the house at my cost.

While your intentions are honorable, I don't think this is a feasible longterm solution. Are you happy for your ex to move a new man into your house? What if you meet someone and can't afford to set up a new home together because your ex is living in your house?

Gigglepig

OP you say you paid for everything regarding the house. Did you also pay for, or provide full time child care? If your ex stayed at home the last 3 years and looked after the baby, while you earned towards the house costs, it seems fair to split whatever equity you gained in that period in half.

pmlindyloo

I would urge you to read this:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_relationship_problems_e/ending_a_relationship_when_you_re_living_together.htm

At the moment everything seems to be agreeable between you and your ex partner. Things may change. It is amazing how friends start telling your ex about her 'rights' and before you know it things can get unpleasant.

My suggestion would be to visit a family mediation service and work out exactly what will happen as regards finance/child/property. This agreement then can be taken to a solicitor and a legal document made.

You need to protect yourself now and in the future. Obviously your child is at the forefront of your thinking and that is great. However, in the years ahead you do not want to find yourself in a poor financial position and unable to move on with your own life because of hasty decisions made now.

TBagpuss

aqueoushumour01 wrote: »

Another option I can see is if I offer to pay towards rent of a really nice place close to school where daughters hopefully going where she would be able to claim housing benefit as I would not be owner. Then I sell the house and find somewhere else (or stay). Not my preferred option as my daughters settled but I wonder if that could be an option if needs be?

If there any way that you could provide her with a lump sum to cover a deposit and 6 months rent? That would give her a good chance of finding somewhere reasonable, and would also give her a 6 month 'breathing space' to consider her options and loo into finding part time work, for instance.

fivetide

Remember you will need to pay maintenance for your daughter anyway. This might be spent on rent but a formal agreement should be put in place to cover this.


If you set up a "I am paying some rent" initiative and things turn sour later, you do not want to get accused of never having actually paid maintenance.


Good luck though, these situations are always tough.

Raspberry_beret

I do think it sounds best for your ex to move out - I think rent paid for 6m as someone suggested (your ex may find she has to do this in order to find somewhere to rent) plus child support at the CSA rate (15% I think for one child minus whatever proportion your DD stays at yours) sounds a good plan. Generous to your ex (which is good for your DD) but gives you as clean a break as possible.

If you stay in the house, your DD will still have the stability of keeping her home as she will stay with you there. This is basically what my ex and I did (he remained in family home) and it has worked well in terms of our 2yo DS.

I understand the urge to take baby steps and try and offer as much support as poss when you have a child together but the cleaner the break the better.