A big thank you from a long time lurker

lilbert

Awesome! I love posts like these thank you for sharing and what lovely parents you have. xx

blueneleh

Well done.
Lovely to read posts like these

jodles16

Thats fabulous! What an inspirational post, you have done amazingly well!

Jodles

Rossim1985

Wow I really didn't expect to see that many replies so thank you all!

Warning the following post is loooong, but it's nice to be able to write it all down. Even if nobody reads it, it's a reminder to myself of what not to do again!

I've just turned 29 and I've been in some form of debt ever since I was 18 when I first went to Uni. I ended up in my second choice uni, being put into halls with final year and international students which I hated, so I went out drinking waaaay too much and rinsed through my new £1,000 overdraft facility in no time. I quit that academic year and went back home working in my local wetherspoons full time for the rest of that academic year.

I went back the following year (September 2005) with high hopes and no debt, but after another year I realised uni really wasn't for me and I was only staying there to keep my parents happy.

I'd had a girlfriend the whole time since the 6th form who was very very bad with money, and I remember by the end of that second year she was in debt to a figure of circa £15,000. Somehow I ended up taking out a £6k loan in my name that was for her. We stayed together a few more months, but she had bought a car which she didn't like for £3k so to effectively pay off 'half' the loan she gave me the car. It was a heap of crap that had numerous problems and I think had been clocked but that's another story.

Anyway the inevitable happened and we split up. It was amicable at first but then the monthly payments soon dried up. She changed her phone number and was not responding to my emails. She had also moved so I had no idea where she lived, so I had no choice but to call her office. This obviously did not go down well but it provoked a response and a few more payments, but they soon stopped again. This went on several times, until eventually I just gave up, resigning myself to the fact that I would have to pay the last £2-3k.

After working in Wetherspoons for another year I finally decided to get a 'proper' job (although secretly I would still LOVE to run my own pub one day). I went up to London at entry level and was earning £18k. Not a lot but enough to get by living at home and I was coming to the end of that loan by 2008.

Fast forward a year to 2009 and by now other than an overdraft, I was debt free. So I decided to do a big holiday with two friends to the USA. I had the time of my life but I took a credit card with me and came back with £1,500 of credit card debt. I swore I would clear it but by early 2010, with Santander regularly increasing my limit, I was maxed out at £4,000.

My nan passed away in 2010 and I had a £5,000 inheritance. Rather than clear the card in full, I paid £2k off the card and bought a car with the other £3k, so still leaving £2k remaining on the credit card.

Then in summer 2010 I decided to move to London (I live in Essex) with a friend and this is when the real problems started. I was fine at first, though only paying off the minimum on my credit card, but the flat was a poor choice. It had awful electric storage heaters and no freezer (and no room for one either, meaning all food was fresh and therefore more expensive). The winter of 2010/11 was very very cold and come March time we received an electricity bill for some £1,300! We managed to knock a couple of hundred off it somehow, but I was short of cash so turned to one of the payday lenders for the first time in early 2011.

I got into the payday loan cycle that you see so much on these forums and by June 2011 was simply juggling money between about 5 different payday lenders just to afford to live. I called it a day and decided I had to move back home. I also got a new job at this time, paying £27k a year, but it was too late and I had to get out.

I managed to pay off the payday lenders (just) once back at home by taking out a £5k loan with Nationwide. I thought it would be just enough to cover the credit card balance in full too, but not quite, as I didn't allow for all the late fees etc on the payday loans.

So by Autumn 2011 I was back at home, with a £5k loan, £500 of credit card debt and a £2k overdraft. My parents knew about the credit card and the overdraft but not the loan.

With lots of nagging from mum I managed to clear the credit card, but I met an American girl in 2011 and stupidly decided to visit her in Los Angeles in early 2012. Over Christmas 2011/12 I'd stupidly used payday loans again, so by now had circa £7k of debt, so I took out another nationwide loan in January 2012 for £9,500. This paid off the previous loan, the payday loans and my overdraft.

After the USA trip the relationship failed and after just a year in my new job I hated the place and having left on good terms with my previous employers and kept in touch, I wished I'd never moved. I became depressed. I hated my job, my finances, and my (non existant) love life. I would go on stupid nights out spending a fortune getting blind drunk thinking it would make me feel better, but all it did was put me back into the payday loan trap yet again.

By late summer (August) 2012 the overdraft had crept up again, I still had some £7l or £8k on my loan and I was using payday loans (several of them) again. It got to the point where I couldn't juggle the loans any longer and I burst out crying to my mum and confessed about the payday loans, but not the nationwide loan. It was the first time I'd cried over anything in years, other than my nans funeral I couldn't recall another time in recent memory of being that upset, but I was so embarrassed.

My mum and dad paid off all the payday loans and I set up a payment plan to them. I was still depressed though and was struggling to find another job so by December 2012 I'd used payday loans yet again. I was so so so ashamed, and couldn't possibly ask my mum and dad again for help. I wasn't eating or sleeping and felt sick with worry.

I approached nationwide again but by this time my credit rating was absolutely awful and they refused my application. My mum noticed the number of letters and grilled me. This time the full truth came out, including the nationwide loan, and I kicked myself for not being completely honest with my parents back in the summer. This time they made me write down all the login details for all the payday lenders, so that they could check them at any time. It was embarrassing but it was needed and looking back I'm grateful they did it.

So by January 2013 I had something like £6.5k on the nationwide loan left, £5.5k with my parents, a £2k overdraft and £500 on my credit card. So £15k or so roughly. I'd had my pay increased to £31k but I still hated my job with a passion, however at least I was now starting to get the odd interview.

During 2013 I did a fair job of making repayments on everything, but I don't think I had the hunger to be debt free that I do now, and I did use wonga a couple of times, which was very risky given my parents having my details, but I kept the amounts small this time and got away with it.

Fast forward to February 2014 and finally (after 18 months of looking) I had a job offer and I took it. I was so unhappy by this time I would have moved for less money, but I was lucky enough to take a £5k salary increase.

I was dating a lovely girl by this time who knew all about my finances and was a great support to me. Unlike the girlfriend from years previously she is very good with money (far better than I ever will be).

With a new job that I enjoyed, more money and a lovely girl I think I finally turned a corner with the depression and after all that time I think I finally had my proper light bulb moment. I was 28 and I wanted to own a house ideally by the time I was 30.

So I really knuckled down with the payments and am now just two weeks away from making the final payment on my nationwide loan. The credit card is long gone with the account closed and the same applies for my Santander overdraft, where I've also closed the account (I must admit I'm glad to see the back of Santander - they are hopeless)!

I still have £5k left to pay back to my mum and dad, but with no other debts and a low rent paid to live at home, £1,000 a month is definitely do able (the last 3-4 months I've been doing 800 or 900 anyway), so I should finally be completely debt free by around April 2015.

The funny thing is that having recovered to a very good score earlier this year, my credit rating has now dipped again from very good to good, simply because I have closed a number of credit accounts without opening new ones! However I do not mind one bit.

I realise in some ways I'm very lucky with my situation. Moving back home is not an option for many, and not everyone's parents have the money to be able to clear payday loan debts like mine did, but I hope my story gives people some hope.

From 2013 on wards I told a lot of my friends the truth about my financial situation. I'm still friends with all of those same people, even if I didn't go to every single event / day / evening out for the last couple of years. They didn't judge me or forget about me. It was trying to do too much from too low a salary that got me into trouble in the first place and they understand that.

Aside from the obvious lesson of never going anywhere near payday loans, the best piece of advice I would give anyone in their early to mid 20's is this. If you know you're not the best with money, avoid credit as much as possible, and stay at home for as long as possible! Think long and hard before you move out. Many will probably disagree with me, but when I first moved to London, a £25k a year salary was not enough to pay the rent and bills, run a car and enjoy a good lifestyle without getting into debt.

Having missed my car terribly I'm going to buy a cheap(ish) one when I'm clear next year, but I'm going to save 3 months of salary to do it. Other than a mortgage a year or two down the line, I'm not looking to touch any credit for a good long while!

elizabethhull

Thank you for your honest story. It shows how many of us are probably only 2 poor decisions away from trouble. I read elsewhere that most are only 3 decisions away from living on the streets ! It's so easy to get lost financially, and your personal story gives hope that lives can be turned around.

Debt is so commonplace that we all accept it as normal, and there is so much in the way of enticing 'stuff' out there. Other people seem to have all the latest gadgets, go out regularly etc etc. I'm not sure how anyone finds the strength to say 'I don't need that'.

LondonGirl252

Your story has really hit home with me, I have the same patterns as you but luckily not with payday lenders and I am just seeing that credit card bill creep up again. Thank you for sharing as reading this has really hit home how much I need to crack down as well.


Well done.

fatpiggy

Just think how easy you are going to find it to save for a house deposit if you can keep going in the same way as you have been - well done! Bless you, you sound like a rather impulsive romantic person. My advice is handle women with care! There are a fair few out there who would happily make good use of your kind nature. Proceed with caution and you should be ok

Rossim1985

Thanks everyone. I know what you mean about people taking advantage of you. I've always been pretty generous with money, but I think I'm a better judge of character now I'm a bit older. I would also never ever take out any form of credit that was for someone else now. I sure learnt that lesson the hard way!

Whilst I do want to buy a car when my debt is done, previously I would have thought nothing of taking out a loan and spending somewhere between £5-£10k. Now I'm just not interested and will use 2/3 months salary savings and the few hundred I get from my current little old heap to buy something for £3k. That's my budget and I will stick to it. If you don't do many miles like me (I commute to London by train for work), you would be amazed at just what £3k gets you these days if you're prepared to consider a petrol car with a larger engine over a diesel or something a little bit older.

If anyone ever wants some cheap car advice do feel free to PM me - I have owned and driven many good (and bad!) cheap cars over the years.

It's funny every time I log on to my Nationwide internet banking they say I'm pre approved for a credit card, but I'm just not interested now. I was actually looking at their savings accounts the other day, so maybe I have finally learned my lesson!

Debtfree2018_2

Rossim, just read your diary with much interest!
Wow. Well done for stopping this cycle, getting out of it and paying of your debt.
Really great, that you have done this before you are 30 as - as you still got most of your adult life in front of you.
What you have achieved is fantastic!
I would love some advice fom you on cars.

Rossim1985

Just a quick follow up post to say I paid off the last of my Nationwide loan this week. That now means my only debt is with my parents, which I'm still definitely on track to have done by April, even with Christmas in the way. Debt free soon, I can't wait!