Gitdog's guide to helping at bathtime.

elsien

Owner having a nice relaxing bath before going out for the evening?

Check the baby gate – ideally you should be able to nudge it open and go to help. As follows:

1) Goosing the bathee's rear end from behind as they enter the bath always elicits an appreciative squeal, often followed by a loud splash.
2) Keeping the bathee amused by doing your famous impression of an overgrown andrex puppy with the loo roll down the hall and back again. They may wish to add a bit of exercise to the bath time routine by chasing you, so practice your turns and evasive manouvres to make sure that they achieve maximum benefit.
3) Offer to create a communal bathing experience via a pair of inquisitive ears appearing at the side of the bath, closely followed by 2 inquisitive front paws, and a very bouncy rear end. Ignore the “no” - they don't mean it, they love you too much.
4) Ok, maybe they meant it: relieve any ensuing stress by barking at the strange dog that's just appeared in the mirror.
5) Add some additional relaxing music by playing percussion with your nose and boinging the toilet seat up and down
6) Helpfully bed down on the clean towel to warm it ready for use.
7) Reappear at the side of the bath with ears and feet at regular intervals to give the bathee the chance to reconsider the communal experience
8) Offer to help them dry themselves by walking behind and licking stray bubbles from legs.
9) Wag happily at the ensuing terms of endearment - “sod off” “!!!!!! off” and “I'm going to break my blasted neck on you, you stupid animal” are the epitome of appreciation and are what it's all about.

Happy bathtime, love Gitdog.

Owain_Moneysaver

elsien wrote: »

8) Offer to help them dry themselves by walking behind and licking stray bubbles from legs.

Well that's cured my nasal congestion, thank you.

Lieja

Love it

I came home from work today to find OH in the bath and the floor absolutely soaking wet. Apparently him and the dog had been doing laps around the bathroom with each other mid way through the bathing process.

Dog looked sheepish - he'd been chased back to the kitchen where he'd helpfully emptied the washing machine of clean clothes to dry himself on.

Never a dull moment

jobbingmusician

*founder member of GAS - Gitdog Appreciation Society. Named in honour of several of his finest productions*

Sir_Pugliet

Just posting to congratulate Gitdog on a fine job well done. You missed his helpful contribution to your pre and post bath workouts by leaving toys in strategic places [STRIKE]for you to trip over[/STRIKE] to give your feet a refreshing and interesting massage as you step on them.

lollipopsarah

Hahaha love it, you paint such a picture with your words.
Thank you.
xx

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahaha! That is hilarious, elsien! I love Gitdog stories! (I spy you posting Sir P!)

meritaten

rofl! I love Gitdog! not offering to adopt him or anything els..............!

my staffy loved my bathtimes - she used to helpfully lick all the soap bubbles off my arm! then spend the rest of the evening burping!

Pyxis

Why is it that when you are in the bath, your dog is all but in it with you, keeps trying to steal the soap/sponge etc, but when it's their turn for a bath, you either don't see them for dust, or they turn into a quivering jelly and look at you as if you are inflicting the worst torture imaginable/dart evil glances at you that say they are going to phone dogline and report you for cruelty?

elsien

Gitdog thanks you all and is most appreciative of his GAS status. To show this appreciation he has in fact spent the morning gassing me.

Bennifred

Hilarious! :rotfl: Thanks elsien!:T