Help please

TracyJ74

greetings peeps,
Just a few words if anyone can help me or point me in the right direction,
2 years ago ex took kids from me citing child violence ( not true) and child abduction ( am yea how can u kidnap ur own kids in ur custody and care)
Anyway it's been a long battle had the final ruling Wednesday as hadn't seen my son in 14 months due to ex breaking court order now my ex has manipulated both my children during this time, so much so my son don't want to see me no more so the judge ruled I can have two phone calls a week to son, and can see him but only if my son wants to see me it said to judge my ex won't encourage my son to see me as he's alienated him against me ( son is 11 now)
It's been horrible to say the least I've had a bit of time from work off as well as find it hard to cope, is there a group I can join or someone I can seek advice as to what to do next as I'm not giving up on my Kids I will keep going til they are home with me.
Any advise would be much appreciated I feel fragile now as I can't get my head around all this.
Thank you ❤️

FBaby

It is very hard to provide any advice in your situation, but like any big battle ahead, I would suggest that you might want to take small steps.

It sounds like your priority is to regain your son's trust, that would involve showing him that your total commitment, ie. regular contact in accordance to what the court order says. If it is only two calls a week, then make the best of these, don't ever not call for any reasons as all will be seen as excuses. Show your son you are interested, do not use this time to talk about you, even less about the situation. Don't give up if you feel you get nothing out of those calls, keep trying to connect with him. If he supports a football team, find out about them, when they play, the scores etc... boys at that age who support any sport team find it hard not to get into discussions relating to them!

[Deleted User]

Above is very good advice. Above all, don't ever criticise your ex, or your children. Just offer support and interest.

Have there been in home assessments for both you and your ex?

I had a relative go through this. Her Ex was awful. It did take about two years and the Judge was maddeningly willing to lean over backwards to the father.., but eventually there were just so many recommendations that the daughter should live with her mother (the father even lost his rag with the social workers/police etc), the mother was awarded full custody.., but it was hell getting there. It could very easily have gone the other way, however wrong it would have been for the daughter.

I can't understand how extensive investigations weren't made? Did you have a solicitor?

You will probably get more specific advice on a site like http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/

RAS

Hi

You may want to start by contacting this group Mothers Apart From Their Children http://www.matchmothers.org/